AITA for saying this to my huaband?

[Anonymous]

My (29f) husband (29m) and I got married a few months ago and I come from a family that'll do anything to support one another. When I got married, my parents wanted to gift my husband a new car (I declined this I felt they were doing too much for us). But my in-laws despite being extremely rich gifted us nothing. This was fine with me, but when it came down to our wedding, my in-laws want a separate grand wedding with 400+ guests (idek these people) but my husband and I are expected to pay for it although we can't afford it. My parents gave me their only investment property, and I built a new home on that land so I can't afford a grand wedding unless I sell the house. I hate having a huge wedding for this reason.

My in-laws have 5 houses but want my husband to live in the house my parents paid for. My husband on the other hand doesn't understand this and often makes me sacrifice my needs to please them. He also buys them lavish gifts for b'days although we're failing to make ends meet.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, girl, that's a lot of drama with your in-laws! It sounds like they're really taking advantage of you and your husband, and it's totally understandable why you're so frustrated.

First of all, the fact that your parents wanted to gift your husband a car, while your in-laws didn't even bother to get you guys anything, is just rude and entitled behavior on their part. If they're as rich as you say, the least they could do is help out a little with the wedding or other expenses.

And then to demand this huge, expensive wedding that you two can't even afford? That's just ridiculous. They're basically expecting you to go into debt or give up your own home just to please them. That's messed up.

And on top of all that, your husband doesn't even seem to be sticking up for you or your needs. He's letting his family walk all over you, and even buying them lavish gifts when you're struggling. That's not cool at all.

I can totally understand why you'd be so frustrated and want to say something. This is your life, your marriage, and your financial situation - they have no right to be making all these demands and impositions.

You're not being an AH at all for wanting to put your foot down and stand up for yourself. Your in-laws are the ones acting entitled and selfish here. And your husband needs to step up and have your back instead of just rolling over for them.

If I were you, I'd have a serious talk with your husband about setting some major boundaries with his family. Make it clear that you won't be going into debt or sacrificing your home just to please them. And he needs to stop spending money on them when you guys are struggling.

Don't be afraid to be firm. This is your life, and you deserve to have a say in how it's lived. Your in-laws' demands are unreasonable, and you have every right to push back on that. Stick to your guns, girl!

[Asker]

Thank you soo much for your response. You have no idea how much this means to me, I feel validated for once. Latest update: we're struggling financially and my husband called his parents for some help, but they declined. Yes his parents are super rich, own 5 houses and have a lot more in cash- but they won't help. I really can't believe it

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw, that sucks so hard. I can't believe your in-laws are being so stingy, especially when they're loaded and you guys are struggling. That's just messed up.

You're totally right to feel frustrated and validated. It sounds like you've been really reasonable and tried to set boundaries, but your in-laws just keep pushing. And now they won't even help you out when you're in a tough spot financially? That's just cold.

Your husband must be feeling really let down too. I get that he wants to keep them happy, but they're clearly not looking out for your best interests as a couple. You two need to be the priority, not catering to his parents' demands.

I know it's not easy, but you gotta keep standing up for yourself here. Don't let them walk all over you. Make it clear to your husband that you need to focus on your own financial stability and not worry about pleasing his wealthy but stingy parents. Hopefully he'll come around and have your back.

In the meantime, try not to stress too much. You've got this. Focus on taking care of yourselves as a team. Lean on your own supportive family if you can. And know that you're totally justified in feeling frustrated with this whole situation. Hang in there, luv.

[Asker]

Thank you so much again, I just wanted to be heard. I really appreciate it!

[es20490446e]

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