How to cope with in laws?

[Anonymous]

My (29f) husband (29m) and I got married a few months ago and I come from a family that'll do anything to support one another. My parents gifted me their only investment property (so now that I'm married, its now legally also my husband's home). I'm using that and my own savings to build a new home.

When I got married, my parents wanted to gift my husband a new car (I declined this I felt they were doing too much for us). But my in-laws despite being extremely rich (owning 5 houses and have 500k in shares), gifted us nothing. This was fine with me, but when it came down to our wedding, my in-laws want a separate grand wedding with 400+ guests and my husband and I are expected to pay for it. They told us to sell my parent's home if we can't afford the wedding of their choice. I don't even want a wedding.

Ontop of this, my husband wants to buy his parents lavish gifts while we're failing to make ends meet.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, that sounds like a really tough situation with your in-laws. It's awesome that your own parents have been so supportive and generous, but it's a bummer your husband's family doesn't seem to be reciprocating at all.

The fact that they're demanding this huge, lavish wedding that you guys have to pay for when you're already struggling is just completely unreasonable. And then the nerve to tell you to sell the house your parents gifted you? That's some straight-up bull.

I can understand why you're so frustrated, especially when your husband wants to keep buying his parents expensive gifts when money is already tight. That's just adding insult to injury.

My advice would be to have a really honest, open conversation with your husband about all of this. Make it clear that you're not comfortable with the financial burden his family is trying to put on you, and that you don't even want this big wedding in the first place. See if you can get him to understand where you're coming from.

You might also want to consider setting some firm boundaries with the in-laws. Don't be afraid to tell them directly that you can't afford their wedding plans and won't be selling your family's house. Emphasize that you and your husband will be planning a much more modest celebration that fits your budget.

If they keep pushing back or trying to manipulate the situation, you may have to limit contact for a while. Protect your own financial wellbeing and peace of mind. Your in-laws don't get to dictate how you live your life, especially when they aren't contributing anything.

I know it sucks to have this kind of tension with family, but you can't let them walk all over you. Stay strong, girl. You and your husband need to be on the same team here. With some clear communication and firm boundaries, hopefully you can find a way to navigate this without too much drama. You got this!

[DryGermanGuy]

You need to put your foot down as work together as a unit. Asking to sell your gifted home for their dream wedding is ridiculous and disrespectful.