What is your view on abstinence until marriage?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

In general, sex for pleasure and companionship is healthy and normal. It is part of our human instincts and makes us happier as well as feel a closer bond to those we are with. We start, of course, as animals and the desire for sex and the biological need to reproduce is totally understandable and defensible.

Having said that, a few caveats. First of all, statistically, children born out of wedlock tend not to do as well as those born to two married parents. The advantage to marriage then is that it assures that if a pregnancy comes into the picture, the child will have two parents to watch out for it and care for him/her.

Having said that, I have to offer truth in advertising here. I have five children born out of wedlock. Three with my current live in girlfriend of over 20 years. When I got my girlfriend pregnant the first time we talked about marriage but decided that we did not want all the bells and whistles of a wedding and marriage and so just decided to live together. 20 years later and we are a happy little family with all the ups and downs that come with family life.

The other two are a bit different. I got a girl pregnant when I was 18 in a one night stand. I didn't want to marry her - I barely knew her. She decided however that she did not want to be married either and so raised our son on her own. She has allowed me to be part of his life, but I won't deny that it is hard and a bit awkward - less than ideal.

The last was the hardest and the only one I am ashamed of. It sounds like it came straight out of a bad movie but in my mid-20s I became involved with a married woman. I got her pregnant - no doubt it was me - but she wanted to save her marriage and so - and I am not sure of all the details here - had the baby - also a boy - but has excluded me from a relationship to him. Her husband raised my son and I miss him terribly to this day, but decided for his sake to respect his mother's decision.

So, all a bit of melodrama there, but the point is that marriage regulates the natural human instinct for sex and to reproduce. In that sense abstinence as a rule is the wiser course for society, so long as we accept the exceptions to the rule when they come along and are prepared to take the consequences when the rules are broken.

Abstinence outside of marriage is a cultural protection for society and its' children. As you can tell I don't support abstinence but my qualifier is that you must be prepared to take full responsibility for the consequences of ignoring it.

strateguy632 · Accepted Answer

Well i always hated when kids cheated in games, breaking rules so i wanted to follow rules until something twisted happened...

I tried to obey no onan rule! When i failed n a lady invited me, my rules conflicted...

It was kinda twisted but obeying the onan rule was justification to break the other rule in a long term relationship in a republican red state where 16 was age of consent.

by the way, waiting 2 more years in liberal blue states is NOT liberal nor secular!

And republican has letters "re" like red so red state despite democrat are socialism like red russia socialist republic!

SnowyOwl · Accepted Answer

I think it's a respectable decision.

Because if you love someone and you choose to marry each other, because you know you are a good match to grow together and become your best selves together, and you trust that you can count on each other no matter what highschool and lows come at you... I am certain that sex can be figured out after marriage. You will make it work when you love each other. As long as you have all the important conversations before marriage, I don't see sex being an issue. After all it's a natural things to engage in, and you will figure it out easily, especially when you truly love each other. Loving someone makes you care for them, and accommodate for them. So I'm sure it will be figured out.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

Foolish especially when sexual compatibility is a real thing. You can't force compatibility. Not every human will be compatible with each other.

AviatorTom · Answer

I don't recommend it. Being intimate with your soon-to-be-married partner is an important part of getting to know each other. Having said that, if both partners want to abstain until marriage, I'm not going to make any negative comments.

Jessica405 · Answer

It is a waste of time. Marriage is never needed. Don't wait until you are married and then find you are sexually incompatible.

Wallythewalrus2 · Answer

To each their own. I'm glad I didn't wait because the girl I thought I was gonna marry was very timid in bed. I thought it would change but it never did, so I realized we just weren't compatible when it came to sex. I really beat myself up, wondering if I was a horrible person for ending it over that but it's important in a relationship and I didn't want her to feel pressured, which wouldn't make her happy. It's tough! What I have now it the 😺 meow! I have a very dominant wife that treats me like the bitch I am!

EmmaMary · Answer

Well I for one certainly wouldn't (didn't) want to buy a new car without test driving it first... I simply cannot imagine the sheer disappointment in finding out on your wedding night that you're simply not compatible and want and expect different things... All resulting in heated words, or worse still a huge almighty argument... No thank you very much.

However as always... Each To Their Own.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I think it's fine as long as the person is doing it for themselves, and they aren't being forced to be abstinence. But they have to remember that sexual compatibility needs to match, and they'll have to ask LOTS of questions to their future husband or wife to make sure both of them are on board. Otherwise, you risk an unhappy marriage. I used to be waiting till marriage when I was a teen, but once I reached 21+ I realized "Nope, this isn't for me." So, now I'm just abstinent.

MisterWack · Answer

If you want to do that, go for it though don’t feel guilty if you have sex before then. It is nice to remain faithful to your special soulmate in the future (male & female)

If you don’t want to do that, you do you and don’t feel like a slut or a pervert for having sex before marriage since it is just your needs being met in the present moment & a lot of people on Earth do it, you aren’t the only one and there is no shame in that.

Shamalien · Answer

It’s a very, very good idea, but society is so fucked…people are getting married so late, and that’s no fun.

Currently I’ve been celibate for a year and am planning on waiting till I meet my wife, but so few women / men who aren’t religious understand my reasoning

Garud · Answer

My country is better in this case, here 46% of people remain virgins till marriage, some data said. But now slowly they are being ridiculed by both women and men in urban areas (especially young men)

lorenzomichael · Answer

I think it’s very noble and healthy and respectful. I understand wanting to have sex, but that one hour being with each other can Get you in a whole lot of fucking trouble.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I recommend it for women to weed out bad men... but if a man isn't red pilled as fuck, he's still going to fall for some bullshit.

Billlewis · Answer

I'm a passionate apostle of arguably the most valuable double standard in the relationship realm -- plenty of intimacy for the woman, and an equally notable degree of celibacy for the guy she intends to marry.

BCRanger10 · Answer

I am  very strongly  in favor of it.

MemeSupreme · Answer

it might be bad for you bc you don't know fully if you're compatible with your partner who you married and sex is big for most people that's my only concern about it

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

Way too old to take this shite seriously. Pretty sure it's just a mantra to stop teen pregnancies.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, I want to have sex before marriage because I can see if I have physical chemistry with them before I get married to them. I would hate to marry someone and realize that were physically incompatible.

ClassicDropout · Answer

If that works for you, go for it. Doesn't really matter to me how many people decide to abstain or not.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably a good thing. What isn't good is making your partner wait for marriage while you bang your exes or FBs. Too many people pretend to be waiting while actively smashing someone else.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That is for idiots or insecure people with so little to offer they would rather not scare any potential partner away.

4ngelic · Answer

i'm not for or against it, people do what they want

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

As a moral conceptSocially enforced mind control to me, a try at destroying , inhumane.

GOLDFISH_smile · Answer

Do what u find best for u. That's my opinion.

Kelley1 · Answer

If under age 23, a girl should abstain until she is engaged. From age 23 to age 27, if unmarried, she should have a body count of 1 or 2.

Middle_Sch_Whirl_Grl · Answer

I think ot depends on the person and to make responsible choices.

straightmax12 · Answer

It's best to be aware of your lover's sexual preferences or what he/she likes or doesn't like before marriage because marriage means that you accept everything your lover is. During and outside the bedroom.

Darklydarkened · Answer

Dumb agricultural mindset that was designed back when women used to be traded property between men

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriend makes me too horny for that. haha

molonski2 · Answer

Not very positive.. dam right stupid frankly.

Anonymous · Answer

Sexual compatibility is far too important to leave to chance. Try before you buy.

That does NOT mean being promiscuous. I believe in sex in committed relationships only, ones that I think may lead to marriage.

exitseven · Answer

I was with someone for 4 years that was saving it for marriage. I would not do it again.

MisfitsLover92 · Answer

I respect it, but not for me. I believe sex is natural and will happen if people are married or not. It's just people's religious beliefs.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Great in theory, but not practical for most.

animesenpai · Answer

Stupid... Sex is a critical part of 95% of marriages you could be completely incompatable in that area and not know till it's too late

Anonymous · Answer

Unless you plan to get married right in or just out of high school, I would advise against it. You should absolutely be having sex in your late teens and early 20s.

michalpl00 · Answer

I believe it’s a good idea but life is too short to not have fun

Quigly · Answer

Experience was a good education on why Marriage would have been complete mistake in my life.

msc545 · Answer

The only men that get married are suicidal or idiots or both.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m not religious , so I don’t understand it.

Wise4myage · Answer

Totally not worth it, but more power to any one (or couple) who can manage to pull it off.

dudeinohio · Answer

You have to determine sexual incompatibility. Prior to marriage.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

It’s whatever. People can live their life however they choose to

Anonymous · Answer

Especially foolish, get out there and ride a cock or slay some pussy.

Analllllbab · Answer

That’s what I aim to do

Anonymous · Answer

sexual compatibility is a myth

Agape93 · Answer

If that's what you wanna do, have at it.

shortster · Answer

Good idea if you can stick to it.

Anonymous · Answer

I waited. Best thing I ever did.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

No way, no hell, no how

Adel50 · Answer

You should abstain until marriage.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

That is what I believe in.

Luopio27 · Answer

Your body, your choice!

Crazzyyworld · Answer

No one do that men = scumbag

Anonymous · Answer

It has divorce written all over it.

spartan55 · Answer

Not for me thanks.

What is your view on abstinence until marriage?

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What is your view on abstinence until marriage?

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