Why do women take a man’s last name in marriage?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yesterday I asked how men and women felt about changing the surname to the woman’s rather than the man’s. The men gave me an unexpected level of vitriol at the idea of giving up their name or even compromising it with a hyphenated name, that women had no right to ask for something like that.
Now it’s just a tradition that remains from times when marriage was a matter of business more than personal commitment, and I see no issue with following tradition but why do so many men take issue with breaking it?

[MisterWack]

Tradition, that is all.

Though I don’t care about “breaking it”, take her last name… take his last name…. come up with a new name, whatever because it doesn’t matter in my eyes - you do you in the name of love.

If my fiancée (aka current girlfriend) wanted me to take her last name, I would. Really doesn’t matter.

[MisterWack]

P. S. We are so down the tradition hole, that if someone were to see us sharing the last name they’d assume in their consciousness that she took my last name so it doesn’t matter out of pride/ego at that point. Just do whatcha gotta do ig.

[Tarifa]

That's something I never understood either. In my country, men retain their last name and women theirs. No need to change anything. Children take on both last names, their father's and their mother's.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I suspect it has something to do with the fact that, outside of the last 5 or so generations, women have been legally considered property in this country rather than people

[Tarifa]

Very possible. In Spain, women would typically add 'de' (from), followed by their husband's last name. In civil acts, a married or widowed woman would bear her husband's last name, joined to hers. Only when she divorced would she revert to using her maiden name.

It harks back to different times. Women were not allowed to open a bank account in their name, and could not dispose of their wages (if they were working at all) without the consent of their husband. That was in force until 1975.

[Valdemort]

Traditionally it's just to do with property and legal identity.

I kinda like mine though, I don't wanna change it, lol

[Agape93]

It's symbolic of being the property of his household. Chattel customs

[Wien1938]

A woman marries into a family, hence she takes the name. The traditional mode is to ask the father's blessing for the marriage as the father had raised and protected his daughter. It also signfies that she is no longer available to other men (withdrawn from the marriage market).

In terms of children (the evolutionary function of marriage), it also means the man is inventivised to acknowledge the children borne to him by his wife as legitimately his and therefore he accepts the role (and costs) of raising and providing for his children (who in turn will care for their parents in old age).

Traditionally, before marriage legal reforms changed things, in English law a wife did not belong to a husband (a common misunderstanding) but legally were the same person. If the wife contracted debts, her husband were liable for such. Public order offences were often not charged against the wife as the JP/magistrate would send her home as it was her husband's duty to correct her behaviour and he could be bound over for her misbehaviour. So married women were to a large extent shielded from public law because in the eyes of the law, she was not a separate person. In a world which believed in hierarchies, this made sense as would the woman taking the man's surname as she was legally changing status to (for example) Mrs Edward Johnson.

Addendum: the children of a marriage were not property and never were in any society that has existed. People who are property are slaves (servum in Latin). In Christian societies (generally) once a child reaches the age of majority (typically 21 until recently), they are no longer subject to their father's authority.

Today's marriage (in legal terms) is basically a recognised partnership of some sort. There is little to distinguish it from cohabitation or even fuck buddies, other than it signifies a committment between the pair.

So, to directly answer the question, most men typically expect his wife to take his family name to publicly state that she is his woman and no one else's.

[AMS700CX4u2]

I think you are correctly stating that traditionally, the idea of changing the surname of the woman was based on the wife being purchased and that her children were the property of the husband. In the medical world female doctors retain their last names in some cases. I think in their situation it would cause confusion and after all their certification was earned while they were young and enrolled under a "Maiden" name. In this day and time. A Hyphenated name is considered a legal unique identity. Not a problem

[talentedclock]

It's a romantic symbolic gesture and tradition.

The real question is if it's such a minor thing, why are some women so opposed to it?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s men who are opposed to changing it, I asked women the same question and many didn’t care or preferred their husband’s surname. But for men to have it be suggested that they take their wife’s name turned into such acidic and terrible wording that I grew concerned

[talentedclock]

It's women who are proposing that it should change. Why?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Why did we do it in the first place? Should it matter if men and women are equal?

[talentedclock]

If it doesn't matter then why change it?

It sounds like you're being real disingenuous about this. "Oh I don't care, it's such a little thing anyways." But here you're harping on it needing to change for some reason and bringing up stuff about equality.

Do you think that it's a bad thing that women change their last names when they get married?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No, it’s not a bad thing, but men seem to lose their minds at the opposite situation of a man taking his wife’s name and treat it as a horrific idea.

[altaboy]

A lot of women don't these days. My wife didn't change her name, just because it didn't seem worth it. My sister didn't either because she was already established professionally with her maiden name. It doesn't make any difference.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

It's tradition but you don't have to you have multiple options you can take his name, he can take yours and in most states you can create a new last name

[Darklydarkened]

Marrige, started as an exchange of women between men in agricultural societies. That's why

[DrPepper12]

IDGAF but it's unnecessary. Keep both names and agree on one or a hybrid or a hyphen for kids. Done.

[Graptemys79]

I suspect it has something to do with the male carrying on the family name.

[Nikki1989]

Why change your name at all?

[PeachyPie93]

To become family..

[renodnol32]

I have no issues taking her name.

[PrettyCrumblBb]

So the kids can have the same last name.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Cause you're now "soulmates".