Does A Woman Taking Her Husbands Last Name Matter?

[Flatmanlewis]

As the wife and I were discussing another topic about marriage the topic of wives taking the last names of their husbands came up.

Men: is your future wife taking (or not taking) your last name a significant issue for you?

Women: do you have a strong opinion as to whether you would (or would not) take the last name of your future husband? If you wouldn’t, why?

[jennifer_bloom]

I would never marry a man that I'm not proud of so if I do keep my birth name, it's not due to pride or ego or a feeling that using the husbands name lowers my family value etc...

One reason might be that my school does not let you change the name on your graduation certificate, so if I change my name, I would have no way to verify that I ever graduated from university because the name on my graduation certificate would not match my married name.

Another would be that I don't want the people who hate me to stalk the guy who becomes my husband if they discover his identity through changes in my last name.

I also have a few church friends I might have to cut off because they try to steal attractive men, even when they are married.

I'm somebody who accepts almost everyone for basic hi and bye courtesies and name-only friendships online but will associate with very few due to a fear of people knowing my business.

[Anonymous]

It mattered to me. It says to the world that I am taken, that I belong to my husband and he to me and showed my partner that i was completelycommitted to him and our future together. That we are family and our kids have the same last name. That last name was a prize worth more than any £50,000 engagement ring.

[Anonymous]

I would understand in a professional capacity like if she was a doctor or lawyer or something and I have an uncle who's wife is a lawyer and kept her maiden name but outside her profession it MRS Uncles last name and she makes a big point of that, their kid's have the father's last name, she signs into hotels and everywhere else as MRS. She said if it wasn't for her job she would be officially mrs uncle's name and the last name is hers.

[Flatmanlewis]

I can totally understand that. Particularly if “you” are your own product such as a celebrity or news personality where you have a significant amount of name recognition and don’t want to lose that.

[slatyb]

it's a vestige of the time when women were first the property of their fathers, then the property of their husbands. I never wanted a woman to take my last name.

[Flatmanlewis]

I’ve heard this but in what cultures was that the case? Obviously, not all.

[slatyb]

By law in most European cultures as far as I know. For a history of the women's equality movement in the United States, read "The Stewardess Rebellion".

[HelpfulWoman]

at first i didn't care. but i realised that actually i like my name. And that I feel over with giving away parts of me. My kids have my partner's last name, so I'm technically the last in that sense of my dad's line.
Plus, I can't really be arsed with all the changes and costs that incur in changing my last name.

[goldenboybrady]

It shouldn't in 2023. When I was a lad, were I a Quebecker (our predominantly French-speaking province) rather than an Ontarian, my mother would have legally been known by her maiden name, while my two sisters and I would have taken my father's last name.

My late buddy Tim Logsdon's wife was called Valerie Barnett, for example.

[ChicoFromThe305]

I can't say I really care, I care more for the kids to have the last name, unless they have a problem against Italian last names I don't think this will be a future problem, hopefully

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes it’s important

[Flatmanlewis]

Do you think it’s important enough that it could potentially be a deal breaker?

[BarryLiverstone]

Could be

[Unit1]

Not to me.