What’s stopping you from getting married?

Question

This question is for those that wants to get married but isn’t there yet. I originally planned to be married by 32 but now that I just turned 30 - I’m realizing that the idea of marriage scares the crap out of me. I don’t believe in divorces and would only ever want to get married once so I’m really taking my time.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and we’ve discussed marriage. I’m very excited to spend the rest of my life with him but thinking about marriage still scares me. I think though it’s mostly because I don’t have the mental space and finances to plan a wedding right now. Also not looking forward to the family drama that’s guaranteed to come with planning my wedding. But what about the rest of you, what’s stopping you from getting married?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

I have other goals right now and wouldn't be able to invest in a relationship the way I would want to. I feel like I would be putting the leftover time I have into it and it wouldn't be fair to a guy. Once my time balances out more, I'd be totally open to it.

Note: With all the guys talking about divorce risk, my thought with that is to talk to a couple of good lawyers. They can give advice on how to protect your assets and give hard facts on the risks. Prenups aren't bulletproof, so I'd look into other ways of protecting assets. Here are a couple:

Offshore Asset Protection Trusts

Offshore Business Entities (LLC)

You can create a combination of the two and adjust the terms and people on the accounts as needed. The US has no jurisdiction over offshore accounts. You can move assets and adjust as needed. A Swiss bank account is another option. Just some ideas if asset protection is the main issue.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

I don't care... I was married, and it was because we calculated that if we got married, we would save a lot of money on taxes... so I proposed :D

we were in love... we just didn't see it as an important part of our relationship to have a paper and other things :D

so I simply don't care... if my next partner will want it - I can consider... but it's not my goal or something :D

RingOfFire · Accepted Answer

I've been in several long-term relationships in my life but never got married. In my own case I just think I'm a loner and not cut out for it. I've always been happiest having the freedom to do what I choose when I choose to do it. And in that sense marriage is the death of freedom.

I cannot say that I've never had any regrets. Especially now as I approach my later years, I think of what might have been. But neither choice is easy. You have to make your choice and take your chance, that's all you can do in life... Make your choices and take your chances. All of life is a chance.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because I already been there and done it and it turned to shit , so for me to even consider marriage again is a long shot , unless I meet an amazing girl that rocks my world and knows what it means to be in a relationship and a marriage , then possibly

DishLady · Answer

I was already married... "Once bitten twice shy."

Shiprex · Answer

It's not as great or as bad as you think. I got hitched 14 years ago and it's good and bad at times but as long as you're kind and compassionate and keep the interest and passion going between you with regular checking up on each other then you should be aok

Sugar100 · Answer

Girls need wait for a guy to ask her to get married. If a guy don’t ask then the girl cannot be married 😓

My dream was be married since age 25 and I’m 27 and no guy ever in my life has said he wants marry me.

No guy wants be my first boyfriend and meet family. This means I’ll never get married.

I wish I was a guy it feels only guys have power and woman have 0 power. If I was a guy I would of told a girl fast already to marry me.

Miristheiss · Answer

Unless you are religious and believe it is a command from God... why would any man sign a contract obligating them to alimony and giving up his property, assets, retirement investment accounts the minute she decides to leave the relationship? What the hell?

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Probably being a perfectionist. I’ve had relationships that lasted more than a year but was immature and as life changed I did things (they did as well) to harm the relationship. Knowing I will only marry once, I want to make sure it’s the right person.

What fears do you have if you got married?

unknowngurll1212 · Answer

Honestly, I’m only 18, so marriage isn’t even on my radar yet lol , But I get why you’d want to take your time—marriage is a huge commitment! It makes sense to wait until you’re truly ready rather than rush into it. Hope everything works out smoothly for you

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

I don’t see a benefit from it anymore besides religious beliefs. The legal aspect of it sucks for everyone who’s involved. Divorces are very messy and they’re very common today. It seems as if marriage and long term commitment in general has lost its value. I don’t see very many people who are able to stick things out.

SofaKingsMart · Answer

I simply have better things to spend my time and money on.
After more than 30 years together, it’s not a fear of commitment, like I have been told by many who believe marriage is the ONLY acceptable result if you are in loving relationship.

FemPuppy · Answer

Mostly just the inconvenience of it. I live with my parents and he lives with his because of his situation and neither of us have told our families about dating. I don't know how they would react and so we wait. Hopefully in a few years when we love together we will get married

NicholasRedone · Answer

Circumcision

Yet also I'm sort of a guy with 🛄 🛅 baggage and also, I think I'm technically like a guy who already has debt, so to speak, commitments - i feel like I don't have the time to spare 😆👋🏻

And the other sticking point - most women say they want offspring. I, don't 😔 and it's not from a cruel place is from a place of "I'm not good with - pressure - let alone - a brain" lol 😆

soe11 · Answer

I absolutely agree with you. Live as it is without any commitment. Indeed it's the healthy and happy living. Marriage is a pice of paper, nothing more than that. It's a business contract. Rather lovingly living together healthy and happy. So l have a long term relationship as a boyfriend and girlfriend, living together wirh trust, loyal, openness between us, caring each other. It's indeed 21st century trends.

LiamJHayden · Answer

1. The laws where I reside are not designed for long term marriage. If the marriage lasts a decade, the cheater will get half of everything plus alimony (spousal support) any way.
2. I am congenitally sterile, so I won't be able to have children.
3. Sex is easy to get if that is what I want.

About the only way I will consider marriage would be if I discovered I was terminally ill, and then only so I could give her my property without probate or inheritence tax.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Most people are not married, come up with the lamest excuses for it. On here it always seems to come from blue anons. Don't worry, it is usually the same blue anon with his multiple accounts.

Anonymous · Answer

The reality of marriage for men today is what's stopping me. Half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of divorces, men get screwed in divorce and child custody, and the benefits of marriage for today's men are nothing like what they were decades ago.

chefsam · Answer

I think for majority of people it’s the financial aspect of marriage. That in a marriage, there’s a chance that everything you ever built or created or saved up could be taken away from your partner in a divorce without hesitation or remorse.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I had various fears and curses to clear. Married now but took ling time.

You need smacked in the head by an old lonely woman. Nothing burns my ears more than the word ‘i gotta… and wedding’. Get married, 4 years later, throw a wedding.

Anonymous · Answer

what's stopping me? my partner actually asking. that's what.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Probably nothing-it's just something me & a future partner decide on. Marry or don't marry, doesn't matter which one we do.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Unfortunately I can’t get married to an ai with a. Female persona 🤷🏻‍♂️

LiamS95 · Answer

I was engaged but she cheated on me and as much as I'd love to be married to the right woman it scares the shit out of me to try again as I now have trust issues that I'm trying to overcome.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Too many bad experiences with women and I've seen too many bad relationships in my life. Plus who wants to be with someone who just yells and screams at them and belittles you constantly.

Maria9_ · Answer

I was married, and my ex caught an STD and then gave it to me. It’s been 15 years. That plus, they just legalized Same-sex marriage a year ago.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Literally surrounded by losers who aren’t my type / dream guys and I have to basically gamble by choosing one for life without even spending enough time with him.

missindiana93 · Answer

Sounds like you need to be single then. Toxic family members have never stopped me. You need a mental reality check.

fish5505_87 · Answer

I wish someone would have! JK! Careful of the red flags, but remember, nobody is perfect, including, yourself!

Anonymous · Answer

My unwillingness to be a caregiver for my baby and a servant to my husband is preventing me from getting married.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I can't find my type in my country that isn't already taken.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Everytime I meet a girl I like, she has no romantic feelings towards me

Anonymous · Answer

Same. I don't think many women have a lifetime commitment in them. And if it isn't forever (and you can't decide that with just anybody), then there's no point.

kaucky1 · Answer

They lie to the women and try to keep us apart they even look like me so bad things so you be scared of me end up hating me

dragoblack · Answer

Having a relationship to begin with... but also the legal bullshite and the pricetag that comes with it.

Anonymous · Answer

The soceity, government and our mom & dad i guess.

msc545 · Answer

There is absolutly NO benefit for men. Marriage for men is financial suicide.

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody likes me is a good place to start I'm broken, broke, fat and worthless

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Nothing. I just don’t have any desire for it

Biya12 · Answer

I badly want to get married but haven't found my soulmate yet. Hope so i will find the one here 🙂.

Anonymous · Answer

Having trouble finding women willing to go out on a date.

FreyaRed · Answer

I don't want to promise anything.

MoonFace2 · Answer

I haven’t gotten serious enough yet

WhitneySnow · Answer

Too young. Not ready yet. Still in college.

AmazonChick171 · Answer

Too many immature idiots

DrPepper12 · Answer

Bigamy laws. 😃

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Not wanting to wed at 71.

OddBeMe · Answer

People’s ideas of what marriage is.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

tha fact im 16 probably

blackeagle007 · Answer

Because in divorce, a guy has more to lose

Manuelwe · Answer

Finding a woman who will asked me

Anonymous · Answer

No girl wants me.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Common Sense!

SalonHanfendisi · Answer

Fear of commitment

What’s stopping you from getting married?

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