What's your reason for not getting married?

[missindiana93]

[sawno]

Its a blatantly bad deal. What do I get exactly? Her debts? Risk of me being screwed over by the courts if she leaves trough no fault of my own because another guy happened to be appealing? I never heard of marriage offering men anything. The girl gets to be protected, the girl can leave with more money if she leaves, she has some guarantees the guy won't abandon her. But us? Since it works one way and has no fault divorce we get nothing I have seen. We effectively become blackmailable by our own partners. Thats no way to balance a loving relationship.

[Keyboardkat]

You are starting off with the premise that all women are evil schemers and are looking to soak you. I feel sorry for you because you apparently have not encountered decent, good women to whom the words "love' and "commitment" really do mean something. Perhaps you have been fishing in the wrong waters!

[sawno]

@Keyboardkat No, I have met such a girl but unexpected twists can happen. This is not bitterness towards women. I am a system administrator, its my job to find flaws in systems so I think very systemically. The point is that we can safely assume the relationship will last, what is the gain of being married in such a situation? What do I get out of it? there's no need for a formal declaration of common goods, we already share. there's no need for a paper to enforce commitment, we already commit. So what does marriage bring me exactly? In the best case scenario (without immigration, in those cases it does make sense) I get nothing I can think off but also not screwed. In the worst case scenario I get screwed over. That's an automatic no thanks. For me its completely off the table unless there is a benefit to doing it.

[PaleDale]

I'm not saying I'm not planning on getting married, although it does seem that a lot of married people I know don't seem to be happy in their marriage in some way or another.

[PaleDale]

Thanks 👍

[DishLady]

Been married… and not that I’ve lost my taste for it, but you know… once bitten twice shy.

[Staximus]

I do not meet most women's financial requirements around here. I make enough money to survive. I rent a room at my friends house, can afford a car, food, basic clothes, and have a little extra money to go out and eat with my brother or friends if I want. I don't find it necessary to have a big fancy house or apartment, buy fancy clothes, eat at fancy restaurants, drive fancy cars, or go out drinking and spend $10 a beer. I'm a simple guy with simple needs. Unfortunately that just not suit the desires for image and status of the wannabe upper class bourgeois women of Southern California. I am considered not financially successful, but you know what that affords me? The ability to pick up and go wherever the fuck I want, tell my boss to fuck off if I want to, go get a shitty job somewhere else if I want to. I'm not a slave to my job or my house. I don't have to worry about paying a mortgage, or being my boss's slave because I'm terrified that I'm going to get fired and not be able to pay my mortgage. I'm not in debt. I have enough in the bank to survive for at least 6 months until I get another job. I can move anywhere. I can tell my landlord "fuck you", I can tell my boss "fuck you" I can tell everybody "fuck you" and do whatever the fuck I want.

[CB-Raido-Time]

My reason for not getting married I wrote this 14 hours ago posted under a different question.

I am working on something pertaining to the dilemma right now. I'll put it this way no matter what age I have been or was at nothing was ever right. When I was younger than a teenager I was too young. And when I became a teenager girls were going after money popularity and older men and I missed out on my entire youth preteen years teen years and it continued throughout my life.

My life become like a puzzle with the pieces missing the entire center was not there and only a bit of the border to the puzzle there the important most meaningful part of the puzzle that made it into a complete picture gone. After my preteens and my teens around the age of 21 things really took a downturn all the important development stages for relationships were behind me by then.

The gaps to build a meaningful relationship were huge I could no longer relate to those at that age anymore the attraction begin going backwards at that age. And at that point no matter what she or they were always said to be too young and the older I got the worse that got and I had realized there would never be a marriage of children in my life. All those things I had dreamed of even before a teenager were all gone.

[RavVid]

It is not fit for purpose anymore and it is a bad deal for a guy.

When the median length of marriage is 8 years - as it is - the the whole concept is bust.

Instead of being till death do us part, it is till we have 1.8 children and they are both in elementary school. At that point the wife decides to initiate no fault divorce so she has her dearly beloved husband assets and child support.

It is actually worse than this in my country as common law marriage has been instituted even though they deny there is common law marriage. For us, you need to dump your girlfriend before 2 years are up. We can't just live with her unmarried anymore.

[Miristheiss]

I am married. 2 kids.

I knew her well. I saw the family she came from, she's Christian, she has no tattoos, she was a virgin, we had shared values and goals.

There aren't a lot of women like her. As a rule, I wouldn't be on board with a "state sanctioned" legal marriage.

Most women are Godless, covered in tattoos, piercings, drinkers, promiscuous, have already been with a lot of guys, are argumentative and masculine, cuss, want to keep doing wild single things, clubbing, drinking, girls trips, bachelorette parties and strippers, want to post a lot on social media, keep their DMs open to whoever wants to message them, they are career first, don't love kids.

[LiamJHayden]

Primary reason: I am really bad at long term romances.

Second main reeason: I was the only child of two only children, thus sole heir of two families. Under current laws I have too much to risk should the marriage fail, especially since California attorneys are adept at getting separate property declared as community property, and I do not want to give up the family home to someone who hates me.

If I should find a long term partner who can stand me, I will stay with her and make her primary heir, but I will not marry under no-fault laws.

[Hellraiser1984]

Seen too many bad relationships in my life. My parents, grandparents, sister. Too little attention from women. Too many bad experiences with women. I always got cheated on. Always thought I was doing the right things but it was never good enough. my parents did nothing but fight and my mom would never leave my abusive father and defended his abuse. My teachers treated me like complete crap and still do to this day at 41 years old. Too much physical abuse from people in my life to trust anyone. I was disowned by my father's family including my grandmother and treated like a punching bag by them. I don't trust anyone anymore and never will again. At work I only speak to my female coworkers when necessary and do not go out with the others on lunch or after work. I am done with humanity. I'm moving to Wenatchee Washington soon and am never coming back to the Midwest.

[IslaTheWitch]

I don't care for marriage... needed legal stuff (like access to medical records, visiting in the hospital) can be done by the lawyer, the rest doesn't really matter to me

if he wanted it, I would comply, but for me, it doesn't matter :D

[Anastacia1989]

A lot of couples are much happier dating than they are married these days it seems….. maybe people are scared of being used and screwed over financially or maybe they wanna avoid family drama?

how about men who insist on splitting things 50/50 at all times? Is it because they are paranoid about being “used”?

[alice55]

i want to get married persnally but a lot of men in my country don' want to because they feel like they're going to lose their money and that their ex wife will use the money to live with her second dude

[Professor-college]

Well one of the reasons is that I had to work really hard to get my degree and also I am unable to get a woman pregnant and that doesn't help when you're looking for something serious. Most of the women I've met don't want a man who can't start a family

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Literally, why? What real benefit does a modern wedding contain? For men quite literally the risks far outweigh any benefits gained.

[Nikki1989]

When you are obviously not marriage worthy or very insecure, petty or controlling. I have been married over 13 years and every day has been wonderful.

[laurieluvsit]

I have Bipolar Mania and have too many issues to deal with.

It wouldn't be fair to anyone to agree to marry them.

[PeachyPie93]

I'm not against it.. but the guy would have to be absolutely amazing for me to want to be tied to him.

[Vegasrunner]

No value in it for men. TBH if you do the work a man can enjoy a peak from 28- on. Once yoy build up the resources there's so many more options. TBH most men get bullied into to marrying because they grow up w/ a scarcity mindset.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for my reason it’s a simple one, I’m not stupid especially nowadays.

[TheLovelyWoman]

I am married, but my sister is not married. Her reason is having “option” being whoever she wants.

[Keyboardkat]

She will be happy having "options" until one day she wakes up and she's 75, and she has no more "options."

[chocolatetwopointo]

so a woman needs to settle down one day?

[Keyboardkat]

@chocolatetwopointo I do not prescribe prefab lifestyles for other people. I am only predicting, based on what I've seen of life. People can end up alone and lonely in their old age, with no family to comfort them when life gets tough. She has options now, because she's still young and attractive. But we age, and at a certain point we're not so beautiful anymore, and the options we once had now have their own, and better, options! Or THEY'VE settled down and are no longer options. And it's no picnic reaching a point where no one cares about us, and when we're gone, it's like we never lived, because we have no progeny, no descendants, no future generations who came from us, and no one even knows we were ever here! That's REAL oblivion! Don't make a mistake you might regret in the long term!

[chocolatetwopointo]

well not everybody wants the same future as u do? js bc u want a huge family and get married doesn't mean she will too.

[Keyboardkat]

@chocolatetwopointo I'm just saying that what you want today may not be what you want tomorrow, but then it may be too late.

[chocolatetwopointo]

i dont want kids so nothings too late🤷‍♀️

[TDDMS]

For me, there are too many dysfunctional women out here. They have unrealistic expectations for men. If it's not that, there are too many women that treat relationships as transactional.

[msc545]

Divorce, Child Support, loss of children, loss of property, loss of reputation, false accusations, legal costs, Alimony, paternity fraud, financial distress.

Why would I do something and risk all this when I get t nothing out of it?

[chocolatetwopointo]

and ur shaming me for not wanting to be with a man?

[red-lipstick-girl]

I like being alone right now, secondly I couldn't find a man with character.

[douride2]

There wasn't/isn't nothing in it for me. I can't bare children so what's the point.

[Anonymous]

The guy I’d want to get married with is not ready yet.

[KostasKouvalis]

To get married, one first needs a girlfriend

[RedThread]

I haven't been in a relationship that called for it yet.

[Coden7]

Have t found the right one to spend the rest of my life with

[kaucky1]

Others see through my eyes thinking they do me a favor pretending to be me gets to them or they as selves takes them elsewhere not right

[ItWasShadow]

I need to figure out what is wrong with my process of "qualifying" a partner. Was married one time, and though it lasted longer than any previous relationship, it wasn't because of love.

[Mangospacho]

Because I’m already married to someone right now.

[Rohaan2020]

Just don’t believe in marriages… i don’t think i can be with single person whole life

[Shy_Steve]

I have always been to Shy to approach People let alone a Girl i like.

[Nahid1707]

i am picky Lowkey; i am certain i will find a nice Lady someday.

[Anonymous]

I can’t keep a relationship long enough to get married.

[Anonymous]

Early retirement. Selfish maybe, but early retirement.

[tzdc21]

The divorce laws.

[Fireguy17]

My wife prefers that I don't date.

[Luopio27]

Im a shallow peace of shit.

[Nerdvana]

Nobody wants me.

[fish5505_87]

Shit, I got married!

[shortster]

Haven't found the right person yet.

[Ladsin2]

Haven't found a good woman yet.

[Anonymous]

No girl wants me.

[Manuelwe]

Mine was sex regular and her for my money

[ItzTaylor5]

’m to young not ready for marriage.

[Smf1989]

Haven't find the right girl

[PsychicBoobs]

I'm not ready

[chocolatetwopointo]

cuz its pointless

[scott04sa22]

I dont drive