Divorce courts are unfair and biased, a man who is the main earner can often expect to have to pay ridiculous amounts of money to his divorced wife through alimony. Robin Williams was forces to give so much money to his ex-wives that he almost went bankrupt, we're talking tens of millions, he said that he used to joke that alimony is really "allyoumoney", and that it's a way of ripping out your heart through your wallet. People talked about his depression and mental illness, but can you imagine having to give all your money to your exes so much so that you end up with none yourself? Even when they haven't earned any of it? Now this can happen to women too, however judges tend to favour women, particularly male judges, and more often than not it's the man who is the higher earner.
When it comes to children too many men lose their kids, their vindictive exes don't allow them to see them, they use them as a weapon against their Father, and nobody does anything about it.
On average men are 4x more likely to commit suicide, after divorce this raises to 9x more likely to commit suicide.
Then, rather than speak against this and do something about it women just tell men like me that we're bitter and that we just need to find the right woman. But you don't know who the right woman is, they don't show any obvious signs usually. Then they complain that we don't wanna get married, well duh. If rape was still legal in marriage and rather than speaking against it men just said "you need to choose the right man?, would you do it?
Not to mention the fact some women do this like a business and marry men just so they could divorce them sometime later and get their money.
@TheShadowKnight - I think the only men they do this to are the rich ones. I think the rest might marry with the intention of staying, then later on either lose all respect for the guy or hate him for some reason, then take advantage of the anti-male bias in divorce and family courts - I don't think they all or even most marry with the intention of divorcing him later.
@RinXD - it doesn't depend on the lawyer, it happens mostly to rich people, and they can afford better lawyers than you can.
@KayPTD - it is, however the information is out there so I have no idea why men still do it, and I don't have much sympathy for them when it goes tits up. It's easy enough just to not get married.
Well said. Which is why, that when I find a woman that I see a future with I am going to demand (in a subtle respectful way) that they sign a prenuptial agreement.
@Azzablue84 - read the last few comments lol
I know, I am simple expressing my agreement.
Divorce is so ugly. I really hate these women who 'hunt' men for their money. It makes the rest of us look bad. I can understand a man paying His separated wife to stay at home to take care of children, if the children are under school age, and if they have 2+ children. Child care is so expensive, and it is often cheaper to have one parent at home, than both working and pay for childcare. However, I believe that one they go to school, the mother needs to go back to work. Also the father should only be paying for essentials, like rent, food, schooling etc.
Wow. So many upvotes. I've never seen so many upvotes in my life on this site
I think the problems with marriage are a bit over-exaggerated. Yes, a lot of marriages fail. The reason isn't the marriage itself but that the people in the marriage couldn't handle it. Marriage is a very demanding and tough commitment and not everyone can handle it. I've seen many happily married couples, but they're the most dedicated and hardworking partners. As my brother found out, when you marry to the wrong person, bad things happen. You lose your house, your kids don't get to spend as much time with you. Your whore of an ex wife could give less of a shit about them. However, he's moved on and remarried to a woman who is actually mature and good this time, and he didn't make the mistakes he made last time.
•Don't get married young, wait until at least 25.
•Don't marry the person for the wrong reasons. You have to share your life with that person. If you don't think you could handle them possibly losing a job, or getting disabled and needing your help in some way, don't marry them. Love and sex can't keep a marriage together.
•Don't marry someone who isn't going to put in the effort. My borther's ex-wife was still in her party phase. She just wanted to have a good time. She couldn't contribute anything. She was high-maintenance. Don't marry someone who isn't a full, hardworking adult.
from a diff perspective, i have to ask... why should men legally wed? what incentives balance the risk of frivorce?
Great answer!
Good answer!
I don't want to get married. Statically speaking though Well both work, he'll expect me to do all the house work and cook and be subservient so he can feel like want he's toldbeing a " man" is supposed to feel like- even if he feels bad about that objectively- . Men complain they lose freedom when they get married Bc they don't have time to themselves but When women marry they LITERALLY give up independence not just " free time", Bc they play a submissive role - which fucks with your dignity- So even alone she's not free. Plus I dont want kids. And I have no interest in getting someone else's stuff. So I have no reason to be intersted in marriage.
As far as men being upset about divorce settlements. My guess is if guys spent over a decade of their lives working full time taking care of a house the kids in it and cook With no actual or independence, they'd think they had a right to money and were owed it , in a divorce as well. That part isn't crazy to me. I don't think men - or women wiTh stay at home husbands - realize what women actually have to do and give up and put up with as a wife and mom. Plus if they get no salary they are owed compensation. And I'm not saying this Bc I persoanlly wnat " stuff" from a guy bc im not even marrying. I just see it as logical. guys get mainly for sex and kids. The woman produces those commodities. married ( a wife is much cheaper than prostitutes and adoption) The financial support she does get is for the Things she brings to the marriage-- There no income for the " work " she does.
You speak as if men and women are the same. It is natural for men to long for and need their independence, to provide for their loved one. And women, in general, are much more suited to be at home and care for their family. My Mom has been a housewife and mother for some 50 years. And she is the happiest, most fulfilled women I know. And she doesn't need monetary compensation for that. She has a beautiful family which is more than any amount of money. With your attitude, you will be a lonely old spinster without any real man or even children to comfort you. Not that I can imagine any man who would want to be with such a bitter feminist as yourself, anyhow.
I don't speak " as if" anything. I speak as a human being. Despite what your mommy told you Women are human beings. And while human beings have similar capacities and potential, they have , very individual goals and ways of expressing their abilities. in life, and of course the right to persue those goals without being discriminated against.
by the way my dad felt the same as your mom. They felt fulfilled by their role as a caretaker Bc they are two people who share the desire to take care of kids... Not bC they are both Women. But you know deep dien you can't use one anecdote as a universal model. It's just for some reason it makes you feel safe to do so. No one said your mommy didn't love you just bc - I- don't want kids. You only hurt yourself by looking at individuals as one brain.
Wow wow wow wait a second. I'm married, a housewife and I cook. But it's not like my husband put me in a burqa and told me 'now work b***h and make sure dinner is on the table when I get home'. And don't act like I'm just a free prostitute, housekeeper and nanny all rolled into one, the way you speak of housewives is highly disrespectful. Just a thought: maybe I do what I do because... gee I don't know... I ENJOY IT? No wonder men have been fed up with women for the past 20 years. Young women can't cook or clean, either they can't or just won't and still expect guys to put them on a pedestal. Men are no longer men because women stopped being women. Thanks a lot feminism.
You sound like a total man hater, you literally have no idea what men want, we don't want you to be our slaves, men aren't marrying because the courts favor women entirely, I don't know where you live but your concept of marriage is completely out of whack, do you live in the middle east? If you don't want to be submissive in a relationship you don't have to, very few guys still follow this old traditional roles, most men want a mutual and respectful relationship, and as of now women get all of the benefits and then some, men are willing to support women but women don't want to do the same for men, there has been numerous studies on this. Add in the fact that a women ends up with half your wealth even if she was lazy and contributed little, and then afterwards your expected to pay alimony and child support, there's little reason for a guy to want to marry.
@tornreality Was that pointed at the opinion giver or me? 'Cause if it was meant for me, I have this to say: I'm not a man-hater, provided that the "man" is actually a real man. And a real man spends his life preparing to take care of the woman he's going to marry and their children. Which means a driver's license, a car (not a fancy one, just a normal functioning car), and a job (doesn't have to be a really great one either if luxury isn't an issue). A real woman spends her life preparing to be a fit mother and wife, which means she knows how to clean well and thoroughly, is able to cook an excellent meal for at least 8 people, knows how to get along with children and how to look good to make her husband proud of her. Our generation is messed up in the head; the man is expected to clean and the woman is expected to work. Just a century ago it was unheard of that a wife and mother worked. A system that worked for hundreds of years was torn down in just 30 years, that made people crazy.
I agree somewhat with @anonymous here. I would say a girl gives her heart and everything to a relationship and when a divorce comes, she needs compensation. Its just natural that she felt safe enough with her husband to let go and not have to pursue anything because she didn't have to. That's why she is not getting married... and I don't want to again ever either.
I want to get married at a young age like the rest of my family did. And there has been only 2 divorces out of like 5 generations including aunts and uncle.
The people who divorced were druggies or Alcoholics.
Here are my reasons why
1. I'm waiting till marriage to have sex so I don't want to wait till I'm 30
2. I'm not into partying so I don't care about the settling down thing
3. I want to settle down.
4. I want someone to be there for me when I need them
I could go on but typing is so much work
The world needs more girls like you! I abstained from sex until I was married as well, I've been married now for almost two years. It's great. It might be hard to find a guy who will stay through it but once you'll find him you just know that he truly loves you and honors you. Keep it up sweetheart, you'll never regret it :)
@dutchpride92 thanks!! And that's awesome that u got married when u were 20 and still are! 😊
Men want to screw as many women as they can, also apparently you gotta look and act like a p*rnstar . So glad I'm married to a guy who isn't brainwashed by the media who makes men think they should never ever get married and start a family. If I had to date again, I would rather scratch my eyes out.
This is kinda offensive to those of us who really wanna get married and start a family. Just because a bunch of guys are what you described, doesn't mean all of us are like this.
Society's ruining relationships or any chance for relationships now a days. I think if you're happy and in love you should do what feels right wether that be marriage or not, Instead of listening to everyone say that marriage never works out.
I don't think she was saying every guy is like that, just most guys now a days are like that.
Well, looking at the last phrase, it looked like if she wasn't with the man she is now, she'd rather be alone.
yeah... agree, I tend to think men who don't want to get married are people who just want to sleep around and not be responsible for children and family. Women now a days cooks, cleans, raise children, work full time, bring home money and groceries... and what do they get when they get old? men divorce them for younger prettier gals... and if the woman earns more than the man, she has to pay him alimony! Men who thinks women has more to gain from a marriage are deceived... bearing any child is hard on a women's body and health... married man lives longer than their single counter parts
@AleDeEurope I was referring only to the men that don't want to get married. Sadly, there are a great deal of them at least in the Netherlands where I live. My husband is from Italy. And yes, if I weren't already married I'd rather be alone, 'cause the guys that do want to get married, marry a girl who looks like a model. And again, sadly I look nothing like that. Dating and relationships are so hard, I'm generally the kind of person who wants to try and make things work but if the guy puts in no effort, I'm out. Sorry.
@WWLifeBegin agree 100%. As much as I trust my husband, I still dread the day where I will be old or fat or both. He says to me all the time how he will stay with me because what we have is built on more than looks alone but looking around me... I can only conclude that youth and beauty is the most important thing to men. So I hope that the 8-year age difference between us will result in him viewing me as a hot young thing forever lol.
And geez GUYS! Why all those downvotes? I see men complaining about the feminazi women here all the time, can an old-fashioned anti-feminist girl not complain about the disaster that is 21st century dating?
That's not totally true. I wanna get married, and I don't care if the girl I'm marrying looks like a supermodel, I care more about how she is as a person and what she brings to my life. Sure, if the girls has the best personality and also looks like a supermodel is what a guy wishes, we want a 10 in every aspect, but that doesn't mean if she's not a 10 physically we won't wanna marry her. How you are as a person is waaaay more important for marriage than how hot you are.
I'm from Spain, currently in the US, and all guys I know don't care if she's not extremely hot, they all want someone who's the best person they've ever met.
@Scrimshaw If you're looking for a internet fight with a feminazi, you have to look somewhere else. I am very criticizing towards women's behavior nowadays as well (you'll probably find one of my rants on that somewhere on GAG) but this question is about men, not about women. I am not the 'feminazi' you try to make me look like, in fact I was raised a traditional, catholic way and I was taught by my mother that if a guy wants to live and sleep with you but not marry you, he doesn't love you and you're just a free prostitute to him. So I saved myself until marriage (and we got married 3 years into our relationship). I cook, I clean, try to look feminine and clean-cut and expect my man to run the show, not me. I was lucky I found a guy who did wanna get married unlike 90% of the 21st century 'it's all about meeee' boys (girls too I know, I'm not stupid). Sorry if I offended you, but I'm entitled to my opinion just like you are.
@AleDeEurope Then you and the guys you know are a beautiful exception in this world of selfish, yolo-people. Marriage, tradition, religion and love are no longer important to the majority of the people out there, experience taught me that one. What the most important things today are: Fun, one-night stands, looks and materialism. I was raised in a very old-fashioned way by my parents, so when I started dating around 7 years ago I was shocked at the ease with which men told me that I had to sleep with them because they paid for my diet coke. Luckily I never fell for that and kept my honor until I was married. I was disgusted by the attitude towards girls that they're nothing but a free blow-up doll, and when I did find a guy I would find out I wasn't the only girl he dated shortly after. I was extremely lucky finding an old-fashioned guy like myself.
I'm telling you, I really hope the girl you'll marry will be worthy of you. You sound great.
@Octavion To me, if you feel married when you live together, call her your wife and treat her as your wife it's different. That's not what I'm talking about. I assumed the asker was talking about the kind of guys that would live and/or have a baby with a girl but don't actually take it seriously (still see her as disposable and 'just a girlfriend') or guys that don't want any commitment. If you don't want to get legally married but still see yourself as married when you live with her, that's the same as marriage.
@Scrambled
My husband and I have gone through lots of problems already, what makes a marriage good is overcoming the problems you face together. What made him a man worthy of marriage to me, was that he fully agreed with us abstaining from sex until we were married. If a man can do that you know you got a good one (and we did wait, for over three years).
As for marriage being a created social construct: look at many animals who are monogamous (the most famous ones being swans). If animals can be monogamous and choose one partner for the rest of their lives, so can humans. It just takes a real man and a real woman, not a stupid boy and girl to make a marriage successful. 90% of the grown-ups still act like teenage boys and girls, so of course their marriages won't be successful.
I don't get why this stuff doesn't flag in my profile. Anyway, animals don't choose to be monogamous, they just are. But just because some animals pair for life, what makes you think humans are like those animals? I kinda like the lion... one male, couple of females to do the hunting:-) but that said we are neither. Marriage is a created construct. My president (lol) has 20 wives? That's his creation. Western values says you must have one wife. It's all created and in my opinion by power hungry men who wanted to keep their girl under legal bind.
Opinion
112Opinion
Guys are the ones who have to buy the ring and are usually the higher earner and the higher earner is usually the one who loses the most in the case of divorce which is fairly common nowadays.
Also it's hard to find modest trust worthy girls.
Most girls are out sleeping with guys they barely know at clubs and parties. Then after they get bored of hooking up and they want that diamond ring they'll look for a stable guy, lie to him about their past and play hard to get. Shell make him wait a months for sex to make sure he's commited and to give the illusion that she's the "relationship type" of girl even though she's normally the "fuck on the first date" kind of girl for all those guys she met at parties.
Also I've heard enough horror stories of sexless mariages and guys getting fucked over by divorce to know it's not worth it. It's an outdated tradition that has no value.
cdn.someecards.com/.../1318289377873_9971010.png
I had to upvote simply because of that picture: too funny but too true.
most girls? is this a well documented fact?
@bubble_tea
yes
link the sources of your facts.
@bubble_tea Well its not well documented with statistics but its easily observed.
How is it easily observed? How can you easily observe what most girls do on weekends and watch how many of them went with girls to the party but left with a guy that is not her boyfriend?
by the way the downvote is not from me. I'm just saying just because you like to dance and party with friends it doesn't mean you're sleeping with those guys in clubs.
The reason why men are hesitant on marriage is because they ask themselves "Am I ready for this kind of commitment?". Financial commitment which includes buying a house, buying a car, getting a real job etc. and personal commitment like making a family, meeting and getting along with the in laws, etc.
Other serious questions that NEED to be answered like, where do I want to live and settle down? Do I make enough money to financially support myself along with a family? Am I satisfied with my job and will I be promoted? am I with the woman of my dreams? (who I will die for, live my entire life with, fight any fight for, til death do us part)
There's a lot to seriously consider about marriage. Being married and following your life goals and dreams at the same time would be a pain in the butt. This is why men prefer to marry a bit later, we love the feeling of freedom by traveling, getting a sweet job, buying a sweet car, going out with friends, etc. After we have fulfilled our life goals and dreams, we'll eventually want to settle down by finding a woman who is mature and will make us happy for the rest of our lives and vice-versa.
Basically, in a nut shell... We want to make a lot of money by working a sweet job and complete our early life dreams and then start being committed by getting married, having kids, and permanently live somewhere.
I appologize if I sounded like I wasn't speaking for myself. Of coarse this is strictly my own opinion.
I agree with your opinion I'm 19 and want to be married eventually just not anytime soon, I wanna be able to enjoy life being single and just have fun with no worries. I'm not a guy so I've never really known what guys think before and after they get married, so it's really nice to have insight on all of these things. I always knew guys worried about finances and money but I never knew that it was that bad.
Marriage kinda means living life upon the other persons standards whatever that may be. The biggest concern with most men about marriage is MONEY.
I figured it was, I hear about a lot of issues revolving around money. I'm not saying I don't like to have extra things in life, but as long as I have food, a place to call home, and my family is taken care of that's all I could ask for. Now if there was extra money that could be spent on fun stuff that would be great, but I try not to take things for granted.
I can understand that. I always love to have extra stuff and having an important role in an important job.
I think women in general can not disassociate a serious monogamous cohabiting relationship and legal marriage. A private church wedding I have no problem with, but you don't need a piece of paper from the state saying you are in a committed relationship. I think for myself, and as far as the government is concerned, marriage and divorce are a predatory industry. I just don't see why anyone, man or woman, should take the legal and financial risk of marriage. The only benefit to a legal marriage is a joint tax return. That alone in my opinion doesn't make it worth it. For the women, imagine you marry a man, and he is great at first. Perfect guy, but then he falls through the cracks. He becomes an unemployed, lazy, drug addict and sits around the house all day doing nothing. When you divorce him, guess who pays who alimony? Any moral fault in a divorce, only affects the time period. So if it takes 6 months for a no-fault divorce, it would take 3 for a fault-divorce. Affairs, drug addiction, abandonment, have no affect on the outcome of debt and asset division. At least this is true in my state.
Just to sum this up, I am only against legal marriage, not private religious marriage ceremonies. So if I met say a woman who was Christian, we could have a church wedding. I just don't need the government to have any more influence in my life.
For me, no currently. My perspective isn't the most pleasing because my experiences have been terrible in the relationship department and I have low expectations on the success of marriage.
To me, there's no advantages to marriage for men. We go into a relationship thinking a woman won't change and they inevitably will. We expect women to care for us they same way we do for them; it seems like they end up despising us and constantly putting us down for not doing countless things. It seems like we end up never measuring up enough. When we try to spend time with you, you get mad for not spending time with you before. When we open up emotionally like you wanted before, you get annoyed for us opening up and then complain that the man is supposed to be the man and the woman is supposed to be the woman.
On marriage itself, half of all marriages end in divorce; the ones that end in divorce are a vast majority of the time initiated by women, often times because the man couldn't make the woman happy even if we tried. We end up being taken for granted when we try, which gets old, and when we figure that doesn't work and just want time for ourselves to think, we blamed for not trying. Many women who were once the great woman in the relationship-faze end up changing being bitter and downright awful; after all, the man decided to get married to her so now it's until-death-do-us-part, meaning it's the man's fault if she's not fulfilled no matter how high the bar went.
Then when divorce happens, women will use their children against them, take half of his assets, and do every little thing to get back at a man who never bargained for it. The reasoning for all this? It's the man's fault for marrying her because he should've known what he was getting into.
Sorry I'm kind of venting, but that's just reality as I see it from my perspective. That's no disrespect to women out there, but that what a man risks in getting married.
I love your opinion on this, I have a really good guy friend who just recently got out of a divorce for almost the exact reasons and he's pretty much given up on love. It sucks that people change for the worse, when you get married you don't think that these things are gonna happen and when they do you give up on marriage and anything to do with it.
Yeah. I've never been married but I often consider myself a realist and to me that's the reality of it.
In some shape or for though, I'd like to think that this sense that I have means that I'll see the warning signs in relationships even before the marriage stage.
I totally agree
My wife jokes that I am an excellent boyfriend and horrible husband. We married, divorced and are back together again. Some of the reasons guys are hesitant is the words "forever" until the day you die.
Wow that's some pretty heady stuff, you mean that I have to...
No one ever goes into marriage expecting divorce, that's the last thing on your mind (if you didn't think it was going to last you wouldn't be there in the first place) So they are looking down the road at the future, kids minivan, old age retirement, OH MY GAWD I don't want THAT! Are you sure about this whole marriage thing? To most guys it means growing up, and to many guys growing up is giving up. Giving up the band, race car, bro's night out, etc etc. It's a loss of freedom, so it takes a SPECIAL girl to even make a guy THINK about that kind of stuff. Do I really want to be THAT GUY? If she is worth it, sure, but if there's even a hint that it might not be the best plan. Guys will run screaming. Do you blame them, it's a shift in attitude, girls seem to look at marriage (I'm not one so I'm not sure and if I am wrong correct me) as security, settling down and getting ready to raise kids, almost like settling into the future. But even the most mature guy is still just a big kid at heart, he doesn't want to give up the motorcycle (Yes he knows it's not safe, but that's what makes it [and him] fun). Does this help explain it?
Your answer is fairly spot on!
I'm against it philosophically. I don't really understand the point of "marriage."
I understand the point of "long-term commitment," but not marriage.
I also think that, generally speaking, marriage begets complacency. I'd rather be in a relationship where we know, to some extent, that it isn't necessarily "permanent" (no relationships really are, but you get my point) so that we are less likely to take the other person for granted.
I also think monogamy is a bit. . . hmm. . is a bit of a tenuous idea. I don't really think humans--yes, both males AND females--are really meant for monogamy. That isn't to say you can't have "the love of your life," or anything like that, or that you can't faithfully be monogamous--I just think it's against our genetic makeup to have the same sexual partner for the next gazillion years (I'm assuming of course that by marriage we are excluding extramarital affairs).
Lastly, "marriage" is a huge fucking commitment, if taken seriously. And the commitment itself is VERY difficult to fulfill and to abide (hence the what, 50%+ divorce rate?). If you get married say in your early twenties, that means, according to the marriage agreement, that you are with that person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. People change. Circumstances change. Perspectives change. Attitudes change. Given all the change that happens over a person's lifespan, it's hard to simply say "yes" to that one "special person," knowing that there's a chance in twenty years, the two of you will no longer be compatible.
CHEERS!
I would honestly feel 100x more appreciated with a gf who outright told me she likes me for me and didn't want a marriage.
One thing for sure is that I am not interested in having children. So that automatically rules out so many women who want marriage as it is. They can go find someone else.
Plus as relationships move closer to marriage the couple gets way too into finances. I like having separate finances and not having to worry about going into joint accounts and such. My money is mine. I like living alone.
Also with divorce as you know the higher earning person gets screwed. Most women won't admit it but they're hypergamous which is why you see so many men getting screwed over financially. Plus it is a known fact that family courts favor the woman giving her custody of the kids. Plus look at how many states do not regulate child support spending. Many fathers have paid child support to women who never even spent the money on their kids.
The more stories guys read about women abusing the system, the more guys are gonna stay away. Most guys don't ask for much in a relationship. So unless they see women actually putting in effort into them they're just gonna treat all these relationships as fwbs unless they actually bump into a mature woman who has her act together. It is already bad enough that guys don't have many girls to choose from these days.
I see no advantage to getting married. It often viewed as a lifelong commitment, which gives one of the people the idea their partner is trapped in the marriage, so they don't have to put in the same level of effort to keep them happy that they did before they were married. Since marriage actually isn't a commitment, so it is more likely to end in divorce now that one person thinks their husband/wife is trapped. I would say that this is the biggest problem I have with marriage.
Women are notorious for changing and withholding sex immediately after the wedding. By using sex as a weapon the man then feels unloved, ugly, and powerless in the marriage. The man's happiness no longer matters at all, and any marriage counselor will almost always slant the truth to make the man look like the bad guy, while the woman's misbehavior gets excused or overlooked entirely. As long as the woman knows it is easy for the man to dump her, she needs to put some work into the relationship. It of course isn't all about sex, but that is a common sign that the woman was pretending to be something she wasn't in order to get him to marry her.
Legally there are very few advantages to getting married unless you want to bring a foreigner into the country. For most people it just means that they will be taxed at a higher tax rate. This also gives me no reason to want to get married.
From a religious viewpoint, there may be some reason to get married, but I am an atheist, so this also holds no value for me.
If I were single, knowing what I know now, I'd be very, very hesitant.
The thing is, what I'd most want is a good marriage.
But legal marriage has nothing to do with your relationship. It has literally zero impact on your relationship. All it is is a contract saying what happens if you split up. And if you look at that contract, it's outrageously biased.
So plenty of men would like to be married. What they don't want is to be divorced, versus just split up, if it comes to it. Note that women file 2/3 of divorces in north america. They anticipate keeping the house and kids and his income. They just eject the husband from their life.
@dudeman where did you get these statistics from?
If you're not legal, then there's always that knowledge that the other could vanish without legal recourse. And that guilt from deep inside. The law written on your heart condemning you inside. You can try to suppress it, but it will always be there. However, no one should assume that marrying who you want without weighing things first, just because it's legal, will necessarily make the marriage itself moral or wise in and of itself.
Better reason to stay pure while dating anyone. That means no sex, ever. Not until marriage. Much better chance of putting up with the garbage that way. If he or she is your first. That's just statistics.
I'm not sure there's causation. Versus religious and or low drive women being less likely to divorce.
personal opinion =/= facts
@bubble_tea not sure which that comment was aimed at?
If it was me, I was in fact suggesting possible reasons to ignore the stats sideman quoted which I've also seen. If I'm wrong then yup, any girl with 5 partners is a ruined slut.
@bubble_tea this is one of the main sources of the data referred to.
Prior results showed that couples who cohabited etc had higher divorce risk. This study showed that if a woman lived woth or slept with her future husband before marriage there was no change in divorce rate. But even one other partner had a massive increase.
As i recall make partners didn't seem to matter.
No, it was directed at dudeman, who failed to back up his claim.
I think I skimmed through that study.. in the end, it was noted people are mistaking causation with correlation.
I didn't see in that study where they stated 'girl had 5 sex partners = 90% change marriage ends within 5 years' or '1 or 2 guys prior = damaged goods'. This is just slut-shaming every girl who isn't a virgin.
@bubble_tea
Sorry to anyone if it wasn't clear: the damaged goods comment is NOT what I think. I think that in this case we have correlation without causation.
The big problem with these studies is that they use not divorcing as a measure of marital success among groups with a different propensity to divorce. It's probably as accurate to say virgins: will stay in miserable sexless marriages without divorcing!
The stats on marital success are depressing for everyone.
I don't believe a chaste partner improves your odds. Personally I tell people to ve worried by low drive and to take a chance dating high count partners.
Your last comment I can totally agree with. Though I'm not sure 5 is already a high count, considering many girls start having boyfriends around 16 and most people don't marry before 30 anymore.
@bubble_tea it was more that there was a statistically significant difference between no other partners, 1 other partner, 2 others... By 5 it had sort of levelled off. 8 and 25 are the same for these purposes. I'd dig up the data but I don't think it actually tells us anything useful.
I've read something like 10% of people married decades are still totally infatuated with each other. Like they just fell in love.
It's a small minority
It's also millions of people.
If love to know how to improve the odds of being one of them.
I've also read about those 10%, but I'm not sure if it was from a study or just an estimate? But I just googled and found this article about a recent report that 40% of married couples who've been married for 10 years are still intensely in love, which is already an achievement if you ask me.
www.today.com/.../many-married-couples-still-intensely-love-survey-finds-1C9381819
And here are the 10 secrets from couples married for decades to improve the odds ^^
www.today.com/.../10-secrets-lifetime-love-couples-married-decades-2D80476930
It's a national US report, so if the report you saw is international, it might include those who were forced into the marriage by their parents or only did it for economic reasons or pure survival or because 'marriage is must before you are 25'
This is also an interesting read:
www.psychologytoday.com/.../brain-study-reveals-secrets-staying-madly-in-love
I want a wife eventually, and I realize the older I get the less good women there will be.
I think we should put love and happiness second, to compatibility and rationale.
Instead of marrying someone because you love them, consider marrying them for how their personality meets and fulfilles yours, look at their finances. Girls especially, you don't want to marry someone who is bad with finances, they mighy just fuck the both of you over. Look at how hard they are willing to work for your relationship, people bail out of marriages so easy today but it never goes away. You don't want someone who when the going gets tough, they get going away!
You just need to ask yourself if that person is really good for you, all things considered. Try to be objective as possible.
I would be happy to marry a woman I love but if I dont necessarily love her but she is a good woman, I can deal with it. I know that my love for her will grow over the course of our marriage. If you spend all of your days together and have children and a home, you would probably feel something for them.
I dont expect people to see eye to eye with me on this but I wanted to share my prespective
Easy women are fucked up n the law is like 99.9 all on men when it comes too break up so most men dont wanna get married becuase if it does not work out then most girls will be bitchs take all of his man his house use the kids just too hurt him how is this right? she's the man she keeps the kidseven Iif she fucks another man n is tue reason for the break up I see it way too often. however let me try u a storu about a girl I thought was the right one very sweet caring the fuckinf girl use too sing too me wuen I got upset but... then we had a fight because she felt it was ok too have guys flirting with her n saying sexual stuff as long as she does not flirt back? Then that what happened? We worked it out she admited sye was wrong 1 point for man then her parents forced us apart she cried for months replaced me with a new bf come back too me crying saying she loves me n her parents won't let her speak too me then acted funny n shollow then blocked me n now what almost happened too me? Got on a train was so upset about many things miss my stop n all most jumped In front of a fucking train lucky god saved my ass n I got back up had no money on me but madeIit home was 5 hours away from were I needed too be... shit I can't begun too tell you whay I been through fighting for a crying girl saying she loves me all mowr died 3 times walked over 10 hours just top see her n she was not there then when I meet her face too face n ask her too marry me she could not even look me in the eye or look at me at all n said no so I just walk away. Before you say o maybe she's not theone when I met this girl I had nothing I was a fucking bum n she cused out her parents for me n said she loves me for me n does not care what they think of me... fact Iis if a guy makes just 1 mistake theirs no limt too what a girl will do just too hurt them n its fucked up guys have changed becuase 90% of girls are just fucked up sad fact of life n 90% of guys are dicks
Well in our youth, it's a big FUCK NO to marriage. This doesn't appy to all obviously, but generally speaking, we want to bang a bunch of women.
"Men want to have sex with a lot of women, once. Women want to have sex with one man, a lot"
This mainly applies to us in our youth, but I assume you're talking about the guys who say they NEVER want to get married. I can understand why, some of the stipulations of marriage make me think about whether or not I'd want to eventually get married.
I will at some point and do want to later in life, but every now and then, some things make me think "Well, maybe marrriage isn't the best thing to do"
Yea I understand, I don't feel like people take marriage seriously anymore. I've always believed in marriage, but never in divorce, if you had an argument you worked it out never gave up on your husband/ wife. Divorce to me would only be an option if someone was having an affair or violence was involved.
I get where you're coming from. I personally don't think marriage is a big deal, I see it as being contractually connected instead of this happily every after type of thing. To me, it's basically something you just eventually do as an older adult.
Most of the time, the penalties of divorce lean in heavy favor of the women. So that's another reason, and I'd like to think that a couple could just work it out as you suggest. But if you've been living, sleeping, communicating with the same person for 5-10+ years, the stress of your problems only get amplified.
They get amplified by that "I wish he/she would just fucking die" marriage hatred that is lingering in the household.
Men have a lot more to lose when getting married...
if divorced, they are at a serious disadvantage and will lose a lot more than just a wife
Also there are certain qualities in a wife that are hard to find these days
I want to get married, but i really dont think i will...
that makes me sad
I'm that same way, I know there are still great men and woman out there but it's really hard to find them. I don't think people know what love is anymore, and the qualities we look for in a future spouse don't really exist anymore I don't guess.
Yeah the problem stems from marrying for other reasons other than love
So true that its hard to find a husband/wife with great qualities
my qualities apply to both actually
Loyalty, Honesty, and Positivity
women has more in her bank account has more to lose too when getting divorced... they have to pay the guy money... it is no longer gender specific
there is still bias in the courts especially if you have children!!
almost all the time they give custody to the mom
in some cases thats not really the best choice for the kids...
i dont want to get too deep into gender issues right now though
im on the fence about marriage, and the reason why is because I've seen how marriage can destroy a man first hand. People still dont get that just as looks change over time, peoples perspectives and personality can change over time as life throws you curve balls. These are the things that are unforseen before you marry to a woman. A woman can look great on paper before marriage, but 5 years after becomes a living hell. That would all be fine and dandy if the courts didn't favour women so heavily. It's rare for me to witness a divorce where the guy didn't loose the house, the kids and wasn't paying alimony for like the rest of his life. Who in there right mind would want to go through that? At the same time, i still have a bit of a desire to get married still, due to all the positives about marriage with a woman as well... hence why im still on the fence
The reason men are increasingly against marriage is because marriage is increasingly against men. Like most things today, marriage has become increasingly gynocentric.
Men give up a lot, and risk a lot, when they get married. They get some benefits in return as well, but not nearly as many as they used to. Women do not offer the same benefits to men that they used to. Men recognize that marriage is mostly for the benefit of women and children, not men. That has and will continue to undermine the institution of marriage until it disappears altogether or significant changes are made to make marriage more appealing and less hazardous to men.
how does marriage benefit men? women has to cook, clean, take care of children, and work, and bring home income, and stay pretty so the men doesn't stray away for younger female or some female coworker... on average married men live longer where as married women have shorter life span than their single counter parts...
I agree with both opinions but a lot of woman I know don't cook, clean, or work they basically live off of there boyfriends and I don't think that's fair. In most divorces women get more than men, more money, basically every right to children, in some cases the house they shared, men have a lot to lose which I see why a lot of them don't wanna be married. Woman nowadays, (not everyone of them) but a lot don't even know how to cook, clean, take care of children, or even work. Most guys want a woman and future wife to be able to do those things. I'm not saying men are perfect because a lot of them just want to mess around with woman and not commit, I just think marriage and people aren't like they use to be.
1. Freedom. Sweet freedom.
2. Indepence. Beautiful indepence.
3. Give up on personal income forever.
4. Marriage is a religious thing and I am an atheist.
5. Kids. I don't like them.
6. Time. Invaluable time.
7. I have had bad experiences with my parents and I am inspired by it.
8. Crisis. I don't want to drag my kids into these shytti times.
9. My patience has ended loooong ago and I don't have any left for marriage.
10. I see no advantage to it but only surrendering.
(11.) Some women do this marriage thing because they don't know what to do with their lifes and rely on the men to solve everything. Read again: SOME! Not all! SOME!
Down me all you want. I expressed my opinion.
I have always wanted nothing more than to get married - ever since I was 18 years old or so. I am now 44 and I still haven't met a girl worth marrying. It's nearly possible to find a lady here in America. Any ladies that are left are so few and far between and seemingly all taken already. The women that available are so loose, physically and morally, that there is hardly anything there worthy of attraction, never mind a marriage. Women have whored themselves out so much at this point, they are missing out on getting a decent husband, because of it. No guy wants a girl who has been all used up, probably has had diseases, abortions, and a few illegitimate children along the way - on top of gaining 200 lbs. through all of it. GROSS.
I do wanna get married, and have kids too. Why? I don't know, maybe it's because I'll have someone to love and that will love and care for me. Someone to wake up every morning with and kiss. Someone who I can laugh and have fun with.
But marriage is not something you do without thinking, it's something you gotta be sure it's gonna work out, cause if you're not sure, it's very likely it's gonna fail.
I agree, I feel like people jump into marriage without thinking it through and that's why a lot of them don't work out. I believe that both people have to strive to make the marriage work and if they don't, it's not gonna last.
What's in it for me? What does it really change about the relationship? Why do I need to spend thousands of dollars for a ceremony that the bride desires 50x more than I do anyway?
Honestly, it's a gamble anymore. What you think is a really secure relationship could turn out to be exactly that... or it could flip on it's head and go completely sour. And as romantic as you ladies like to dream of weddings as being, I don't feel exactly comfortable betting half my stuff and income that things will remain just peachy. I don't need marriage to love and want to be with a woman, to live together and share a life (and everything that goes along with that), and to treat her like my partner and not just a girlfriend I'm living with.
There's just so much that goes into making the marriage happen with not so much certainty to go along with it. Doesn't sound like a very desirable deal, does it?
I'm not completely against marriage and I understand that my marriage won't for certain end in divorce. However, I know a little bit of my family that it could still happen - especially if the woman in question has already divorced or separated from her man/men already and if her family has divorced. I have a few uncles that unfortunately divorced. And one of my brothers might be heading for divorce. But my parents have been married for 40+ years and they are still going strong. I'm certainly willing to work at the marriage. But if the woman isn't giving her share (100% of her 50% of our marriage) of the effort in the marriage, then it's pointless to be married. Marriage is 50/50. I understand some guys only doing 20,30, or 40. I'm a 50 man. I would give my 100% of my 50, like I should be. I'm the man that would avoid divorce at all costs - except for murder, of course.
On that last sentence, I mean that I would divorce rather than murder my wife. But that's a last resort - complete last resort.
I believe that marriage is an outdated concept. People used to get married to grow their families and their resources. There is no need for that now, and to raise girls to define themselves by their husband is sexist. Furthermore, marriage should be a religious institute, and I am agnostic. My reasons for not getting married have nothing to do with wanting to date multiple people, but I don't think that two people's love should be signified by the government either. That marriage license is just a tax and the government should have no say in how I love my special person. Finally, I just feel that women are raised to make every decision in their lives in a fashion constricted by the concept of marriage. Ladies, there is so much more for you to spend your time, effort, and money on.
Fuck marriage, why buy into it? If you really love each other 100% a piece of paper and legal commitment won't change that. Not in my eyes. I'm surprised that marriage is still such a social convention, I really am.
There should be far more egalitarian laws and rules that if you are consolidating wealth and assets that a fair way of dividing them should be made. If like to point out I think that includes recompense for a partner not working and raising children. One of you normally does it and it's not fair you be punished for not earning, a fair amount would have to be considered.
My ex didn't want to get married because he says it often ruins relationships and now I oddly agree. We were perfect together, then our relationship quite abruptly ended so you can never predict how your relationship will go so imagine if you were married? Being cheated on would be a lot more difficult and expensive to deal with if you're married - marriage doesn't ensure loyalty and commitment. My parents are married and pretty much hate each other, but my mum can't leave because she can't afford it. Natty on Total Divas was with her boyfriend for 10 years, they were perfectly happy and then a year after they got married, they were seeing marriage counsellors and were looking into divorce. Marriage seems to change people's mindsets and almost increases their expectations of the other person which leads to arguments and disappointment.
The whole thing is very risky tbh and now I see where he was coming from. It's a lovely sentiment of course but I think the cons outweigh the pros.
It's a bit complicated, and I can see why some people harbor a bit of animosity toward marriage, but it's something that I want. I can't really explain it, it may be just that I want to have that official title of husband. Now that being said, I don't want to be married right now, I still want to finish school, find a decent job and move into an apartment in town before I think about marriage. But yes I would love to at least be wholly exclusive with someone, I've always wanted to be in love with someone, and be loved by someone, someone to wake up to in the morning and come home to at night, simply to have that sort of intimate connection that a husband and wife can have with each other. So yes, I do want to get married, only problem is, I doubt I'll ever find a woman who wants to marry me, lol.
I want to know that my woman is hand-picked from above to be the true other half of whatever equation I'm supposed to be a part of, and that her and I are predestined to make a good team. From there, happiness and good sex and all that other stuff will take care of itself in the proper time.
So far, I've run instead only into women with lots and lots of problems. Some of which I'm there to help fix, some of which, I have to avoid. Figuring out which is which is a headache in and of itself sometimes, long before marriage is even up for discussion.
I'handpicked my wife myself. :)
I don't need nor want anyone else doing that.
@jacquesvol: Sometimes, you gotta trust there is One who is smarter than you are. Trying to follow my own schemes without higher consultation almost always leads to disaster, because there's always some variable that I cannot factor.
Trusting others or 'luck' of 'fate' to direct you is a way to disaster: you know what you need, you know what you want. Others know what they want and need and t may not be the same. It probably is not the same.
I've never wanted children. All of my friends and family know this, so they day there is no point in me getting married. But i still do want to get married, just because i like the idea of being joined with my spouse legally and in Gods place of worship. I am aware that a lot of marriages don't work out, and i am also aware that my life would be a living hell if it ended in divorce. But since i won't be having kids, the risk of going bankrupt isn't as high. So yes, i do want to get married, but i realize that i must be cautious of who i marry so i don't end up screwing myself over.
I wanted to get married. I did get married.
I was very aware about how many marriages end in divorce. However, the payback of growing a life together outweighed the chances of failure. So I did it.
May I ask if y'all are still together?
I am so sorry for your loss!
Tou girls are risky. You change, lose interest take our money.
I've always been against it due to what every guy I've every known had said or what I've seen happen to married men.
Now that im in my 30s i would like to find a girl to marry. But i know it isn't my current girlfriend or the other two girls im seeing.
Some men don't want to follow the traditional gender roles of men being the provider/protector. There's also this hatred for women's equality in the workforce. Some how some men feel that applies in the dating world as well. So, it leaves the dating world in a limbo, no one knows what to do anymore.
I don't want to have to wear the pants in my relationship, just because I'm successful. People aren't getting married because they cannot even get a date right lol!
See posts:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1363105-the-feminization-of-men
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1370453-guys-what-makes-you-feel-like-a-man
Maybe some men, but most men that I speak to about this just simply think marriage is dumb. I do think though there is a bit of gender power at play in that, women can have easy fun with sex and relationships, but guys can't. Women can take a year off and get banged every night of the year if they chose, with random people. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to explore and experiment over time, and how we going to do that when we have to settle for one woman?
At 32, you are too old to be this clueless, "women can have easy fun with sex and relationships, but guys can't. Women can take a year off and get banged every night of the year if they chose, with random people. Guys don't have that luxury. We have to explore and experiment over time, and how we going to do that when we have to settle for one woman?"
Please tell me you do not actually believe any of this lol!
Lol... clueless for what? I'm serious. That's a reason why many men mess around in marraige. they can't get the sex life they want and when they settle, they discover these things in marraige. Women on the other hand can explore it and discover it in a much shorter period and then settle nicely that they have lived.
I hate dating. I am finally back to a place (after an unwanted divorce 14 months ago) where I want someone in my life. I have found that woman. I knew after the 2nd date. SO if she doesn't break up with me, I will marry her one day. just like I knew with my first wife after only 2 weeks, and that marriage lasted 25 years. and she wanted the divorce. if it were up to me, we would still be married.
I want that one day, and I want to make it work.
Given that half of marriages fail these days, though, it's an understandably intimidating prospect. No guy is looking to get attached to someone just to lose her, his children, his assets and a good chunk of his income all in one fell swoop.
I have met a guy who told me that his wife screams like devil in hell and purgatory and dungeon where ever that all that horrifying demons and bats and weird trees coming out of dead well abyss bottomless pit that he wants to kill himself every time she yell at him every night when he comes back home.
besides, child cost tons of money without government insurance and all. all the hospitals are business dealing with human life so fucking evil. when they divorce, they get nothing. they want to fool around but then they can't. the burdens... besides, world is going to collapse because of too many population, ocean is dying with garbage, especially dippers, radiation is high, war is threatening, they have to run when america collapse, their health is not good, wife asking for more sex sex sex dinner dinner dinner and fun fun fun fun. who wants that shit.
I would like to marry one say, yeah. Obviously it depends on the right woman and the right timing but I'm hopeful.
As for the dudes that don't want to do it: work, responsibility, monogamy, effort, some women (and men!) are freakin' crazy, etc.
family law is anti-man. man gets kids, money taken away
modern women disrespect men. entitlement mentality
marriage equals no more sex. happens so often
i feel divorced already cos my parents went through messy divorce when i was a kid
basically... huge costs and dangers, no benefit for men
I don't want to get married because the cons outweigh the pros.
1) Divorce courts are biased against men - Several other posters have already pointed this out and talked about it in great detail.
2) Marriage is a legal contract, with a lot of terms and conditions that many men don't agree with
3) The marriage contract itself doesn't have any direct benefits for the man
4) Men are not as religious and traditional as they were decades ago
5) Women are more biologically hardwired to be monogamous than men. Hence marriage is more compatible with a woman's innate nature than a man's.
6) Loss of freedom and too much responsibility
After seeing the divorce between my parents, I can say with 100% certainty that I won't get married unless the girl is absolutely cream of the crop top 1%.
Never heard a man say anything positive about being married, in fact I frequently get advice from married men to never get married and they're usually not joking, same with having kids.
Men tend to get the royal screw job in marriage, usually they bring in the most money but get to spend the least of it, wives guilt trip their husbands into things and if they get divorced holy hell they lose everything and more.
The more I learn about marriage, the less and less appealing it appears to be.
👍👍👍
I am one of the lucky guys who married a good woman who sees the world differently than most women today. Having said that, I would not recommend marriage to most younger men now. Women are not the same as they used to be and men are well advised to steer clear of the marriage trap. It's not usually in their best interest.
I hope that changes sometime in the future but I don't foresee it happening any time soon.
Can you explain "woman are not the same as they use to be"? I agree I don't think they are either, I'm just curious to what's different nowadays with woman.
I have a feeling what he's getting at is being supportive in the household: making sure the kids are good, actually showing interest and concern into the man's well-being, etc. Essentially, the typical household wife who stands by his man. There's absolutely no shame in that.
Nowadays women can pursue anything they want to be: they can be a career woman or be full-time mom. However today, the stay-at-home-mom role is shunned and looked down upon as being subservient which isn't true. There's the expectation from other women that women should, and can, be everything (which there's nothing wrong with that at all, I actually like strong independent women) but the side effect of that is that a lot of women end up getting more demanding towards men and unconsciously may end up with a sense of entitlement. That sense of entitlement destroys marriages.
For me I would love to be able to work and do everything around the house, take care of my man, etc. I know a lot of men say that a woman shouldn't work, which is there opinion, but for me just knowing that I can help out financially makes me happy. I don't want my husband to think that he has to be the only one to work to support our family.
I am feeling more and more like I do not want to get married. The reason for this is because I am a nice and kind person and most girls use that, abuse it and treat me like I am the scum of the earth. Why would I want to get married when this is how I get treated. I see marriage as a trap. Sorry not trying to be offensive.
Depends on if I meet the right lady. Not a lot of ladies theses days just a whole lot of hos.
Just speaking for myself but I absolutely want to get married and have a family. Wanting it comes with age and maturity. As a child of divorce I also just want to make sure it's definitely right so my kids never have to go through that.
Why is this even a debate? For hundreds of years, there have been many people, both men and women, who did not want to get married, and many who did want to get married. We're all different, with different needs and preferences in our individual lives. Why can't we just do our own things and stop criticizing each other?
I WOULD LOVE TO, the thought of settling down with the love of my life is unparalleled. Often with the trend of society, relationships come and go & it tends to make you think if this was the right women for me? Maybe it has to do with the lack of two parents in childrens lives and the burden they felt as a child.
I think people just don't want to settle down too quickly, they can say "I will never gett married" when they're in their early 20s because at that time they want to be single and go out and party, but then usually change their minds once they get older and more mature
Is it worth it? What's the point?
I haven't been married or even been in a proper relationship but the view i get of marriage is that for us guys its the end of the road. Married guys are always shown as weak, dumb and just general idiots. Our society makes fun of married guys and i know you will argue that in real life this isn't true. But for someone like me who has only been exposed to the views of society and how it views married men, it's enough to make me stop and wonder if it is really worth it.
This question must get asked about once a week. The reasons are given, for why marriage is the worst deal most men ever make. Women are to blame for turning the deal sour, and men are beginning to find out.
Read this one:www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1372759-marriage-rate-decline
Most marriages either fail or become unbearably miserable for the man, because women (80% or so) have evolved to be unsuitable for a long term relationship with the same partner. Most can't stay in love with the same man more than about 4 years, before her body chemicals end that loving feeling for that man. Women are suited to a series of short term relationships, and drive their partner away to end each one. That's just instinctive, and there's little she (or he) can do about it. No surprise that "I don't know why, but I fell out of love and divorced him" accounts for 44% of marriages. This leaves men financially ruined and wondering why the person they loved deserted them.
There are exceptions, just like some women who are lesbian or asexual, but only about 20% of heterosexual women can stay in love with the same man forever, even if he's better than ever. This also causes a lot of unhappy marriages that don't end in divorce, but are devoid of any affection.
If I'm going to marry someone it's not going to be because the girl has begun to get bored of me and says I need to ask otherwise she'll leave. If you're going to leave me because your bored now, then what's stopping you from leaving down the line where it most likely be rougher on me?
This does not apply to all girls, I know that but I've seen several marriages where it only happened because the women was getting bored so the man made a hasty decision.
You see I would like too but I don't want to be divorced where my kids will be taken away and given to their mother just because she's a woman. And it seems like women or people of this generation don't work things out as soon as they get tired they just leave so I don't want to go through all of that. So even though I'm still young I think about marriage but not getting married outweighs me actually getting married.
I got no problem with marriage, but for that I need to find a decent girl, a girl who is upto my leave of moral standards. And it's difficult to find that kind of a girl these days. But if I do find 1 and she is interested is a proper relationship I'll be more than willing to settle down with her.
Well We men get burned in divorce, women take our kids, hard earned cash, house, car and all that. If she was the one at fault for the divorce (she cheated or something of the like) guess what? she still takes our , money kids...
Men get ZERO yes ZERO, none, nada benefits from getting hitched. Sex is easy to get (for some) desperate women are dime a dozen. so whats the point? love? love fades and the most gentle woman will turn into a hellish devil as soon as we are not in good terms anymore
I don't see that many women wanting to get married neither.
Besides, why would a guy want to waste his time buying an expensive ring for someone that will only manipulate him him for the rest of his life when guys can have an independent well paying, successful career?
It's not. You're expecting the worst out of marriage. Your opinion seems as if you're just assuming that your "future wife" will be a horrible person. Why would you marry someone like that in the first place? Just leads me to believe that you have divorced parents or some girl seriously broke your heart. Not all women manipulate men, or even want an expensive ring to begin with, and you can have a successful career with or without a wife.
@Kiwedin
With all the increasing divorce rates in the world, of course marriages are not working anymore. "Future wife"? I don't even have that planned, so obviously I wouldn't marry a woman like that anyway. Nope, no one has broke my heart nor have I divorced parents. I'm just simply not interested in marriage. :) Maybe I will be in a committed partnership, but marriage seems like a complete waste of time to me. Not all, but many of them in today's society have been exposed to radical feminism and misandry, causing them to expect more from guys. The thing is, I don't understand why it's okay for a woman to say she doesn't want to get married, but for a man he supposedly "screws" with women or is a "sexist"...
Marriage is just beautiful if the person you are marrying is beautiful to you and shares similar wavelength with you.
It makes no sense for men to marry a girl who want steady ATM machine and the girls slept with lot of other guys earlier.
If you can't have desirable girl to marry then it would lot rewarding to man to not to marry.. it opens lot option to man without responsibility.. of household life.
I dont see the need to have a paper to tell me that i want to be with this person for the rest of my life. I have quite a few friends acquaintances, and my brothers that have gotten married and it did not work out. I dont have anything against people who want to get married, but i dont think its for me.
I'd love to get married, unfortunately it's a financial deathtrap for a man in 2015, especially considering how much a woman could flip-flop within one.
Men are just scared of it these days, and rightfully so.
I just enjoy being single and living life for me. such as it is.
Do you ever feel like one day you'll wake up and want a woman in your life?
Ugh, where do I begin? Love doesn't last forever... get all my shit taken away after divorce... have kids, and pay a quarter of a million dollars from ages 1-18 (excluding college)... losing custody of my kids... paying alimony... dealing with today's women who are all feminazis...
Like, why should I get married?
Well say you found a great woman who didn't want your money, loves you just for who you are. And all that stuff you mentioned didn't matter to her.
This may not be realistic but if you found someone like that would it change your mind?
I have yet to met the right women in my life. I like being single for now, it could change later on in life. But i think the reasons for not getting married are I worry about if I would fall outta love with the women I marry. Marriage takes a lot of work and that's another thing as you have to both work in order to make the marriage work. Plus their children and that's another issue. I knew plenty of people who married the wrong person then got divorced then remarried again and are happy.
If you’re committed to each other, what does a legal marriage actually change? Nothing.
If it all falls apart, you can get taken to the cleaners.
You can be just as happy together forever without a piece of paper and a ring as ‘proof’.
Don't think it is a gender thing but I never saw point of marriage - Would have no problem cohabiting, having kids without marriage.
Every guy I know who gets married turns into this pussy-whipped slave. Sounds really sad, but they got themselves into that mess. They joke about getting away from their wives and such, but you know deep down they don't want to go back there. Plus all you have to look forward to is a woman who keeps getting older and older, and if you're lucky a blow job on your birthday, Christmas and maybe Valentine's.
bc it offers men literally nothing but legal liability. no incentive, strong discouragement.
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