Why do large age gap relationships so rarely lead to marriage?

[Anonymous]

we all know of people who have dated 15 years younger or older but very few of these relationships actually end up in marriage.

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know. Men like younger women and men need to be looked after when they’re old they don’t wanna be left alone stuck in a nursing home and die like that. And women get a long life with a man and they have a future together. The woman will inherit his property and all his stuff so she will be well taken care of in most cases. So this should work out well they’re happy together than she has a good house all this time. Happy wife, happy life. If The woman is genuine and not a gold digger This will work out. I’ve seen it done before in my own family with perfect success

[Asker]

men like younger women but not all younger women want significantly older men.

[Iron_Man]

Well, the woman can’t take care of the man if they’re both in nursing homes. And if they don’t have kids say goodbye to your house, the government will take it

[Asker]

@iron_man

I think most people tend to marry someone similar in age because there tend to be a huge mismatch between large age gaps. Maturity, brain development, life experience, life stages. Not all women marry old men for money. Not all men marry women just for their looks.

[Asker]

and most women have professional careers and buy houses on their own. they don't need a man to buy them a house.

[Iron_Man]

That’s not what I’ve seen and the maturity level is way different at the same age. Women are way more mature than men at the same age and I said before in my previous statement, I’ve seen it in my very own family with much success.

[Asker]

women only mature on average 3-5 years ahead of men. Its not like women are a decade more mature than men.

[Asker]

thats also the reason why most married couples are generally 2-5 years apart.

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry, but that’s not how I see it. And the energy level is so far apart so different. Most women wanna maybe go out to a movie if that and call it a night after. Men wanna go out to a bar and whoop it up with her buddies or live on the edge with adventure. Women don’t like that they’re staying indoors too much.

[Asker]

@iron_man

Just because you don't like it, it doesn't mean its not true.

Data shows that the vast majority of people tend to end up marrying someone less than 10 years apart from them.

[Iron_Man]

It’s true I’ve been around. I’ve seen things. Are are you the Pink anonymous that was debating me a couple days ago about the same subject.

[Iron_Man]

Are you new here or have you been around?

[Asker]

www.pewresearch.org/.../

[Iron_Man]

Fake News

[Asker]

pew research is very reputable research organization

[Asker]

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[Iron_Man]

Hi😊

[Asker]

According to U. S. Census Bureau data and related family profiles, cohabiting opposite-sex couples in 2023 had a median age gap of 3 years

www.google.com/search

[Anonymous]

Because opposites do NOT attract. You might meet someone with a wide age gap between you two, and have instant rapport because you share a few similarities. But time will prove you have less in common than you thought.

[XXblack88]

Because someone who is 15 years older then me has been there done that and has passed that milestone where if I'm 15 years younger I still have a long way to go to mentally and sometimes physically the chance we have much in common is not high enough to make it work a lot of times

[LazerBean]

Either lack of compatibility, or the motivation for dating with a large age gap is one that does not lead to lasting, stable relationships.

[Asker]

Very intelligent point

[HighValue]

MORE people in close age relationships have failed and it isn't even close. Just because someone doesn't get married, that doesn't mean they don't have a successful relationship. Actually, intelligent men that want an exclusive LTR with a partner that actually cares about HIM would refuse marriage since all it is, is for women and the court system to steal from and abuse men. A woman insisting on marriage is an abuser.

[Kabluie]

They can also be poly or non-monogamous relationships where marriage isn't a thought, just having fun, or they could already be married. But in terms of monogamy, sometimes the different places in life don't always align.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It’s almost like dating with 10+ years difference has nothing to do with building a life or having children. Like, you know, having a bunch of protected sex

[In_Trance]

Because you're a different stages of life going through different things. You can connect on a superficial level for a while but eventually the connection is not there

[queenofcardio]

Depends on the couple. It does work out for some people..

[Anonymous]

My ideal woman in my mind i would marry 💍💍💒 without much regret and ideally I've always thought "she'd be about 6 years younger than me aka if she's 24 I'm 29, if she's 26 I'm 32, etc"

😋😅😘🫡

[Anonymous]

sometimes older people are tying to re experience there youth so want someone younger but perhaps already been married before so not looking to go through that again

[jahaims]

Because it's about attraction and not compatibility. If you're the same maturity as someone 15 years older than you then they are emotionally stunted.

[AngryCarl3]

I mean that's a pretty big age gap. I don't know too many couples like that.

[loveyouoak]

Because they're just having fun. Marriage usually works better between people who are close in age.

[Anonymous]

They have less in common, especially their remaining life span.

[Staximus]

Young people don’t want to get stuck taking care of an old person when they don’t have to

[Staximus]

And birds of a feather flock together

[msc545]

This may or may not be true, but what difference does it make? It's just a random statistic.

[Anonymous]

Because they require certain advantages. The older person usually has to be very rich.

[MissSunshine2]

It's because of a maturity gap.

[Nikki1989]

Very little in common.

[FunkyMonkee]

Mine did, so did my parents'.

[Asker]

That's very few

[FunkyMonkee]

In just one family?
Now that I think of it, both of my sisters married guys much older than them!! In both cases, the guys were a few years older than ME!! One sister is 3 years younger than me, the other is 7.

[Asker]

People tend to learn from their parents. Divorced parents tend to be more likely to have divorced adult children. But overall, large age gap marriages are very uncommon

[FunkyMonkee]

If you say so.
Dad was divorced before he married mom. None of us ever got a divorce.

[Asker]

Just cuz a couple isn't divorced, it doesn't mean they are in a fulfilled relationship

Many things people do only because they were brainwashed by their parents that it's the right thing to do

Just the same way abuse tend to run through generations. Parents teach their kids its ok to be abusive so it ends up getting transferred to the grandkids then great grandkids

Research shows large age gap marriages tend to be much more likely to end up in divorce

[FunkyMonkee]

But, look at how many get divorced just because they don't like something the other said or wears.
Yes, but we're not talking about democrats.
Grandpap, I'm told, used to get drunk and beat the shit out of grandma. None of their 5 kids ever did that. None of us 4 kids ever did that. None of my aunt's 7 kids ever did that. Maybe a couple of uncle Mike's 7 kids did, they're all pretty sleazy and untrustworthy!! I doubt Mike did.

[Asker]

@funkymonkee

imagine being married to someone so old that they can't keep up with you sexually, can't keep up with you in a walk in the park, can't keep up with you energy wise or hobby wise.

you can stay married to someone like that but would you be fulfilled? . probably not.

[FunkyMonkee]

At least not in those ways but, maybe in other ways. Intellectually, romantically.

[Asker]

@funkymonkee

hard to be romantic with someone that can't keep up on a walk with you in the park, being married to someone you can't have sex with, can no longer do favorite things with.

You can't even be intellectual with them since old people tend to lose their memory or suffer from dementia.

Yea sure.. you can stay married to someone like that and be their nurse. but its no fun.

Not only that, the much older spouse will die much earlier and you will spend a huge chunk of your life dying all alone, neglected and lonely

nothing good comes out of large age gap marriages. way too many consequences to it.

often the marriage dies way before the spouse actually dies.

[FunkyMonkee]

I've seen it done. As the vows state, "in sickness and in health, `til death do you part". I know it sounds silly today but, up until about 40 years ago, those words meant something and people tended to live by them!
Yeah, SOME people do! My aunt Anna died weeks before her 100th b-day and she was still sharp as a tack! Had her asshole kids left her the fuck alone, she could've easily made it well into her first decade of being 100! Just before they tricked her into going into a nursing home, she and I went for a walk and I could barely keep up with her!! And I'm 6' 9" and used to walking fast and she was just under 5' tall!!
Dad's mom was 94 when she died and was still very sharp until maybe a year before her death. She was still driving by herself down to Florida (from Pa.) every winter until she was at least 92!! They had to take her car keys away from her!!
Uncle Wally was 93 when a staph infection took him from a routine hospital visit!! A few days before it killed him, mom went to visit him and he was singing Italian operas to her in full voice!!
But, if you're in love with them, none of that means anything! It may be hard work but, you'll do what you can to help them.
There's nothing wrong with finding someone else after a spouse has died. It's best to wait a while but, there's nothing wrong with it.
Sure there is! The younger of the two can learn things they would've possibly never known, otherwise! And, the older of the two can learn about newer things they might not have known about, before.

[Asker]

@funkymonkee

nowadays, not many people would want to stay in a marriage where they aren't happy in. And marrying someone much older is going to put you at a much higher risk of dissatisfaction. I personally wouldn't do it, too much risk.

[FunkyMonkee]

Like I said, nowadays, people don't want to stay in a marriage if they don't drive matching cars!! Marriage is COMPLETELY superficial, these days!! Get married today, get a divorce within 3 months and get married again before Christmas!!
Unless you prefer marrying someone older or just don't give a shit because you're in love with them, no matter the age difference. 'Harold & Maude".

[Asker]

why would I fall in love with someone so old when you can equally fall in love with someone young? Love is all the same... you don't need to fall in love with someone old. And often times, you're more compatible with someone around your age.

[FunkyMonkee]

Love has no rules! You fall in love with whomever you fall in love with.

[Asker]

@funkymonkee

For me, I tend to fall in love with people around my own age. I'm 30, and 40 is the furthest I would go. I can also go as young as 25. Conversation flows better with folks around my own age. We tend to be more likely to think the same way and laugh about the same things. I guess its a maturity thing.

[FunkyMonkee]

I was brought up around people much older than me so, I understood a lot more of what they grew up with than even most people today know anything about. I also played with kids several years younger than me when I was growing up, mostly because kids my age only wanted to stir shit and fight and, by that time, they were getting into booze, drugs and smoking so, I got a bit from both ends of the spectrum.

[Asker]

Another reason why I refuse to marry significantly older men is because a lot of these men date much younger women for the wrong reasons. Genuinely decent old men would prioritize emotional connection / relatability over sexual attraction and looks. Perverts would prioritize sex over a genuine connection. I definitely won't want to be with an old dude who is only with me purely because of my looks.

[FunkyMonkee]

That leaves me out! I'm with her because I'm in love with her and she's in love with me and, even though we have SOME age-difference "incompatibilities", we both still think alike and have a lot of other stuff in common.

[Asker]

@funkymonkee

Saying you are in love, does not mean you are actually in love with her.

All I know is that my father would not be happy if I dated a guy around his age.

[FunkyMonkee]

Okay, whatever you say.
Was he in love with your mother or was he just saying that?

[Asker]

@funkymonkee

my mom is older than my dad for 2 months.

but my parents would be weirded out if I married someone around my dad's age.

I just know my dad would never accept a marriage like that and he would question the motives of a significantly older man marrying a young girl. he'd be thinking : "whats wrong with him? is he a pervert?"

men understand other men's minds and know their intentions.

[FunkyMonkee]

But, was he in love with your mom?
My oldest sister started seeing the guy next door when she was 15, possibly 16. He was at least 20, if not 21 or 22. As far as I know, they're still married nearly 40 years later.
My youngest sister started dating her hubby when she was 23 and he was 34 or 35. That stupid fuck killed himself in a car crash a few years after they got married 37 years ago. since then, she's dated a string of guys, none of whom lasted with her more than 18 months, even though everybody else thought they were nearly all great guys. (The Scottish guy was nice enough but he wouldn't stop drinking!) The guy she's been living with for the past 20-some years is old enough to be her father.

[fonduegirl]

Because it's based on sex