Is a large age gap in marriage wrong, and what’s your limit on it?

Question

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

I've had a 25 year age gap with women I've dated. One with a 25 year age gap who absolutely wanted to get married. Here are my views framed around a 30 year age gap.

People can age drastically differently. People can have drastically different levels of physical strength, intelligence, curiosity, and knowledge.

A 25 year age gap when the guy is 45 and the woman is 20 is probably not workable for me. I'd feel like I was with a daughter. Too much of a gap in maturity.
A 25 year age gap when the guy is 50 and the woman is 25 is pushing the limit. But a 50 year old guy can have kids and still be there to raise them if that's part of the goal.
A 25 year age gap when the guy is 60 and the woman is 35 is probably workable but the guy would be irresponsible to have kids at that age. As long as kids are out of the picture, a 60/35 age gap can be really workable. She's with an older guy but she's probably done most of the maturing she's gonna do. He's older and more experienced and has plenty of time for her. He's calmed down. She's calmed down. It depends on what they both value.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

It depends on the age of both partners. I am 71 and my wife is 62. At our age, a 9 year age gap is fairly insignificant. We got married when I was 69 and she was 60.

Suppose that instead of getting married in 2024, we got married in 1984. I would have been 29 and she would have been 20. The age gap would have been much more significant. Our interests would have been too diverse.

Suppose we got married in 1994; I would have been 39 and she would have been 30. Most likely, she would have wanted to start having children the day we got married, and I probably would not have wanted to begin a family when I was almost 40 years old.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I believe that if 2 people happened to fall in love with each other, it doesn't matter the age difference. Period.

A lot of men are finding loving long lasting relationships with older women. They even get married. There are a lot of videos about younger men falling deeply in love with older women.

I watched one of the videos and the guy was younger than the woman by 20+ years. He tried fighting the relationship but his heart wouldn't let him. Finally he said that he doesn't care about what other people said about them. They loved each other and are happy.

There's no age between two souls. A person's soul doesn't have an age. People who are in heaven don't have any age. So, the two people's souls are ageless. It's only their body that's a different age.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

My limit is 3-years. That limit would not apply to NFL QBs and other guys much above my league. However, there is no chance of them anyway.

AviatorTom · Answer

A large age gap in marriage is not wrong... if it's okay with the couple.

As I've told many times on GaG, my father was 30 years older than my mother. They had a long happy marriage, producing me and my sister, until he passed away at 98 yo.

ohsheeT · Answer

It always seems to matter more to the people that has no life  or there not in a relationship  way more than the 2 who are in the relationship.

new-person · Answer

It is said (love knows no age limit). But usually why a younger person will be open to being with a person of over 10 years age difference, is for stability and security. But this is not true love, this is conditional love. Would the younger person stay with the older person if the older person lost absolutely everything? Maybe for a few months to see if they are able to recover, but after that 99% will leave the older person and look for someone of the same age as they are, or another older person that is more secure.

VioletHaze · Answer

The legal age here is 16 and I'd find it creepy is a 40 year old was to marry a 16 year old. So, guess it depends.

I would not marry anyone more than 10 years older than me, unless he was exceptional in some way. I don't want to spend most of my older years as a widow.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

The big question is if they want kids, if they want kids then an age Gap is a problem, 20 years or so? 10 years no problem at all. But 15 and up. You have to start thinking about when the kid will grow up etc, but that being said if there's no kid, who cares.

MontBlanc · Answer

I don’t think a large age gap is automatically wrong.

What really matters is maturity, respect, and whether both people are at similar stages in life emotionally and mentally.

Age can bring differences in perspective, but it can also bring balance if both people understand each other well.

Personally, I think a reasonable gap can work, but I’d still want it to be within a range where both people can genuinely grow together and relate to each other’s lives.

Master_Debator · Answer

Can she become pregnant and was legal just 14 years ago? That's all that really matters because she can have my baby at 14 when I'm 99 years old.

I don't mind that you people try to make idiological arguments against nature... nature wins in the long run.

4ngelic · Answer

no but often it doesn't work out. personally i couldn't care less usually, like i don't care if a 30yo marries a 70yo, or a 23yo marries a 50yo. often i suspect it's some sugar thing when the younger partner's age is low, or else it can be a bit eyebrow raising but whatever. i only have a problem when it's an 18-20yo, especially an 18yo.

NessaEssa · Answer

No age gap if you love someone then the age shouldn't matter. People will talk about the age difference but you shouldn't care. My parents got married and stayed married for 33 years until dad passed away. They were 18 years apart. They were always so happy yes they had there fights but that's normal. They always managed to talk things out.

Berethor · Answer

If she legal age then I don't care how young she is, I am not likely to date an old woman.

Cyfris · Answer

I have gone 14 years in both directions and age was never the cause of the end. I think two adults who understand what they are doing can make any age work. Hearts don't have ears or understand numbers.

RavVid · Answer

I think it has it's problems. Ten years is ok in my view as about 10% of marriages have that age gap. So not common but not rare.

Biology isn't equal. Men and women agree men should be taller and they also seem to agree men should be older and not enthusiastic with the woman being older. I seem to remember only 10% of marriages are with the woman 2 to 4 years senior.

Grond21 · Answer

No, not inherently. My hesitation factor rises as it increases, but it doesn't mean it is morally wrong. Just possibly imprudent.

However, it does matter the maturity level. 20 years between a 38 year old and an 18 year old is radically different than 20 years between a 70 year old and a 50 year old.

Crankor · Answer

Its not wrong no. It could be considered weird sometimes but even saying that is weird because it depends on the time line of the age gap. The older you are the less odd it seems to have a 15 or 20 year gap, if your in your early 20s then anything over a 3 year gap seems odd to people.

Anonymous · Answer

no but in the same since a person who's 18 usually doesn't have much in common with someone who's in their late 30's and so on. I usually stay with in a 10 year age gap.

Bricealan · Answer

@kelly6 Don't have a specific number? My wife was a few months older. Have dated with girls/women10 year age difference. Never paid a lot of attention to age differences as long as we felt okay together at the time.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is not wrong per se, but everyone should be sensible enough to have an age gap limit.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would I have a limit on it? Marriage is a personal thing. When I'm 85 and have no children or family to leave my wealth to, because I don't, I'm going to marry a 25 year old and have her fuck me to death. And it's none of your god damn business!

FreyaRed · Answer

7 years. According to some subjective unscientific observations people age in 7 year steps and I think this is the limit for an age gap. However my highest gap was 4 years

Anonymous · Answer

large age gap relationships don't tend to be happy in the long run.  Things might work out fine at 25 and 40. But once you get to 45 and they're 60, you will regret it. By then, it would be too late

electromagnetic · Answer

I’ve never been with someone much older than myself. To each their own. I don’t think it’s an issue at all.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

it's kind of obvious why they both are doing it. i wouldn't get married, but i would limit age by person and probably say 60 is a limit.

slatyb · Answer

Only two people get a vote. I just met a couple with about a 25-year age difference. She's 66 and he's 91.

soe11 · Answer

I think socially unacceptable. If ten or twenty max different find. All depending upon culture and customs of countries.

MicahRaine · Answer

Really depends in my opinion. Not at all a fan of those 18yo and 55yo relationships though I think that's super creepy and just ew

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I don't really think too much about age like that as long as they are an adult I wouldn't think too hard on it. Whats important is their maturity

alice55 · Answer

Ir’s never a good idea whenit’s very big i don’t have a age gap in mind I go with the flow

GrammariklyIncorrekt · Answer

I would consider 'wrong' to be anything illegal. It all depends on preferences. I think age gaps of 6-12 years tops would be my limit.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s wrong if one of them is only wanting to marry because they hope the other one will die soon so they can inherit.

Angelo75 · Answer

Nah... as long as they married after the youngest one was an adult.

WonderingManII · Answer

I think a 10 year gap is fine. More then that, not good.

rebeccadn · Answer

For me the max would be 6,7,8 years older than me. Preferably a year or 2 older than me

audean57 · Answer

Nothing wrong with that so long as both people are happy...  I've had 15-20 year relationship gaps before, all legal of course

LiamJHayden · Answer

Adults should be able to marry other adults regardless of the age difference without busybodies interfering.

gymFreakRomanticAss · Answer

So in my understanding 3 to 5yrs age gap is perfect between partners

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No thats not a bad thing everybody will have an opinion about it but. It's all depends on the two people involved in it. For me my limit would be 10 years no more than that

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I don't think its morally wrong but it does looks creepy if a dude or woman is with someone who could be their parent or grandparent.

msc545 · Answer

I think that marriage itself is fundamentally wrong, as it disadvantages men and unreasonably advantages women.

LC75LC71 · Answer

Go dig up Jerry Lee Lewis and ask him about it..

AustColombiangirl · Answer

I don't see it as wrong if 2 people are in love and happy then why should age be a factor

Larry30 · Answer

No a large age Gap is not a problem as long as health and keeping fit is a lifelong goal

AgentG111 · Answer

I've had a 9 year gap. If it works it works if not then move on.

Sammy098 · Answer

Yes, it does cause almost always their mentality is completely different. And people should marry those who are the age of their kids or around

Anonymous · Answer

As long as it's legal then it's just the morals of the matter My limit is probably half my age up (28+14=42) and nothing down

blackeagle007 · Answer

I’ve always stayed within a year or two up or down my age

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

To me I don’t think so. I have a 31 year old female who appears interested in me

dougeats · Answer

as long as they are legal nah. I would say youngest I would go is 21 oldest is 38

LOGESHKUMAR · Answer

Yes huge age gap between the couples cause many problems..

RandomGirl42 · Answer

How do you put any limit on love?

exitseven · Answer

I would say ten years.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

7 to 10 years at max!

Zionne · Answer

i don't oppose any age gap

Cidknee · Answer

Not wrong but perhaps doomed. But not always

dudeinohio · Answer

I'll go 7 years younger

Celticwolf78 · Answer

It doesn't matter as long as they love each other

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Forty-eight years.

Jeff51 · Answer

10 yr gap is fine

Daytoday79 · Answer

I think if it's consensual it's fine

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, my limit is about two decades.

MasterKS · Answer

It doesn't matter if both adult.

Is a large age gap in marriage wrong, and what’s your limit on it?

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Is a large age gap in marriage wrong, and what’s your limit on it?

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