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I don't care what anyone says but if you were a high quality man, you should be taken by a certain age. And if you're 50 and still never been married. There should be no reason why you've been looking for so long and still can't manage to find anyone. Must be something severely unlikable about you which is why no one wanted to marry you
If you haven't married by 40 you have a 1 in 4 chance of ever marrying.
Duh.
Opinion
8Opinion
If you don't care what anyone says, why are you bothering to post? LOL
Let's unpack your nonsense, since I have a minute or twelve:
* ... if you were (are) a high quality man, you should be taken by a certain age.*
Please DO define what a "high quality man" is. Then when you're finished, tell us WHY he should be TAKEN? What if he doesn't want to be taken?
* para-phrasing" ... 50 never married, no reason why you should have been looking so long and couldn't find anyone... "
Has it even occurred to you that not every man in the world is LQQKING to get married?
Has it even occurred to you that such a man might be exactly what a woman thinks she wants, but he's not interested in marriage?
You foolishly assume that marriage is the ONLY choice for all humans to make, and that they all intrinsically WANT to make that choice. That's your first mistake.
Your next mistake is to assume that someone must be horribly unlikeable because they're not married. Let's just say that's not the most brilliant statement ever uttered by a human.
Many notable historical figures and celebrities never married (Beethoven, Queen Elizabeth I, Clara Barton, Susan B. Anthony, Louisa May Alcott), some of whom were extremely likeable and loved by everyone who knew them. The most notable in my mind is Linda Ronstadt. You can't find anyone who knows her that doesn't like that woman.
So whatever you're going on about here being unmarried at 40, or any age, is pure nonsense.
There is something wrong with you if you don't want to get married. Only traumatized people or people raised by single moms say they don't want to get married
Ans how do you know people loved queen Elizabeth, Clara Barton, Susan b Anthony? Were you alive 250 years ago?
Bullshit. That's nothing but your own perspective, which is not universal. Unmarried people are not "ill"; people who get married because they think they're supposed to are the crazy folks.
So in your brilliance, you figure that nobody at all even "liked" either one of them? LOL Do you even know who Clara Barton was, and what she did? She didn't live 250 years ago. She was a beloved nurse during the Civil War. Try doing some research and thinking before you write or speak, for a change of pace.
@loveslongnails
how do you know she was beloved? were you alive 250 years ago? just because she pioneered nursing , it does not mean she is a likable person.
You're really not the brightest crayon in the box, are you?
First of all, math lesson. Clara Barton was born in 1821, that's 205 years ago, not 250. She died in 1912, at the age of... ? ok, that would be 91.
How do we know she was a beloved figure? Hmmm, there's this thing called history, and books, and accounts and documents. She was a teacher and humanitarian. She founded the Red Cross. She helped saved countless lives and heroically risked her own on the battlefields to provide comfort and aid to soldiers. She later established the Missing Soldier Office in D. C. and helped identify over 22,000 missing soldiers.
Are you actually stupid enough to think this person wasn't "likeable", and that's why she never married? She was BELOVED!! Do you want to assert that there was something WRONG WITH HER for doing these great things instead of "marrying" someone? ARE YOU actually THAT stupid? I think you might be.
Hmmm... maybe she was a little BUSY doing all of the above and prioritized helping thousands over raising some rug rats. Did THAT ever occur to your little mind?
@loveslongnails
are you stupid? it doesn't matter how what she pioneered if she didn't make a good wife.
does it sound like a woman who is workaholic would make a good wife and mother? HELL NO!
and just because she did all of that, it does not mean she wasn't TRAUMATIZED. She could've had an entire host of mental health issues which was why she never wanted to marry. Maybe she didn't trust men. Maybe she was one of those who was too afraid of entering a relationship due to early childhood trauma. These types of people do exist.
and trust me, they are not high quality individuals.
Only traumatized people or people raised by single parents never tend to want to marry. Because there should be no reason why someone wouldn't want a loving marriage and caring family. If you don't want this, it means you have issues.
@loveslongnails
You sound like you're 100% offended by my question. I see your time has run out by 40. I can see why you're so angry and causing so much of a ruckus on here.
well why do you think you both haven't gotten married?
because you both are settling for each other, knowing you both can't get anyone better
if you both found each other a perfect fit, you both won't be avoiding marriage
@loveslongnails
You ARE an idiot !! LOL Our relationship is better than marriage. We don't requite a piece of paper to keep us together. We've already outlasted the average first marriage by 4 years. LOL It's time for you go back and put your pacifier in your mouth while the adults talk. LOL
Try and use one of your two competing brain cells to understand this: my partner and I have been together for 12+ years. We've outlasted the average first marriage by 4 years already. ** We don't NEED a piece of paper to tell us what we have or what our relationship is... you do! That's your thing, not ours. We'll be together long after you're divorced if some unfortunate bloke marries you to begin with.
Perhaps the other brain cell can work on this one: the fact that we've stayed together, and continue to do so, is PROOF we aren't settling. LOL Every day we choose one another, again and again, no piece of paper telling us we have to.
A legal document doesn't mean forever. Other legal documents get you out of the first one.
You really have some abandonment issues, girl.
@loveslongnails
if you are in such a committed loving relationship then why are you so angry at this question?
clearly you're still super insecure about still having to check that single box on that IRS tax form every year.
you're either single or married... there is no in between
its crazy funny how hard you fight for a relationship with someone who you would never see you as "the one" or make you "the one"
long term dating relationships are a sham. they're not marriages and will never be marriages. they're just made up of two people who don't see each other as permanent partners due to a huge mismatch of some sort, and are waiting for a better fit to come along some day.
In other words, you're just a placeholder till someone better arrives. If she truly wanted you, she would've married you a long time ago. No need to wait 12 years.
@loveslongnails
there are people who would date you for 10 years then propose to another person they only dated for 6 months... why? its because they are their dream partner, not you.
@loveslongnails
sorry but roomating is not the same as marriage and will never be. i don't care what you say
if you are in such a committed loving relationship then why are you so angry at this question?
* I'm not angry, as I told you before, at your question... I'm bothered by the arrogance of your response and your assumptions. Are you capable of knowing the difference?
clearly you're still super insecure about still having to check that single box on that IRS tax form every year. * This is a very assumptive and foolish comment, but typical of your responses
you're either single or married... there is no in between. < ~~~~ THAT is a legal concept. Nothing more, also something you don't understand.
its crazy funny how hard you fight for a relationship with someone who you would never see you as "the one" or make you "the one". *** It's CRAZIER that you think you KNOW anything about us! LOL It's crazier that you believe "marriage means you have found THE ONE", which explains all the people who get married multiple times.
You choose not to address points that prove yours to be weak, don't you?
Ever hear of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell? They've been together 43 years. Yeah. 43 years.
Now go tell them they are just "place holding till the right one comes along", LMAO
long term dating relationships are a sham. they're not marriages and will never be marriages. they're just made up of two people who don't see each other as permanent partners due to a huge mismatch of some sort, and are waiting for a better fit to come along some day.
** You're entitle to that opinion. It doesn't mean your correct, especially in light of evidence to the contrary.
** 50% of all marriages fail within the first 8 years in the USA, so stop talking about "the right one" please. The data and evidence say you're wrong about longevity, and the rest, as I say, is your rather small minded and arrogant opinion.
In other words, you're just a placeholder till someone better arrives. If she truly wanted you, she would've married you a long time ago. ** Or, if she didn't want to get married either, and didn't want me, she would have left.
You can't seem to live with the idea that a piece of paper and a few words at a ceremony are not what keep people together. You just can't handle that.
You never do stop blabbing, do you? Yes, we already know you don't care what ANYBODY says. LOL
Are you married? In an established relationship long term? Do tell.
@loveslongnails
I didn't bother reading any of your BS. All I know is... I'd rather spend the rest of my life with someone who can't wait to marry me rather than stay stuck with someone who refuses to marry me. Staying stuck with someone who would never marry you is not a prize. It's a prison meant to keep you away from finding your one true love.
No verbal agreement about commitment in the children's playground will ever override REAL LEGAL COMMITMENT CEMENTED UNDER LAW
Sorry but your girlfriend is just a roommate. I can't imagine how someone can have so much pride in having a mere roommate rather than a wife.
"Playing house" like little kids playing husband and wife is not the same as actually being husband and wife.
Of course you didn't read it. Took much for you to mentally comprehend. I'll keep it short because of your lack of attention span and cognitive ability:
You're entitled to your opinion about marriage, but that's ALL it is. It's your opinion. Nothing more.
I pointed out that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together 43 years and never married. Why don't you go tell THEM they are just playing house, or afraid to commit, or they're just settling waiting for the one. LMAO They'd get a huge laugh out of that.
" I can't imagine how... blah, blah, blah..." Exactly correct. You can not imagine. You have a limited viewpoint and a close-minded intellect, so it follows that you "can't imagine" anything outside of your own little world. Now stop writing. You made your point endlessly, and we will forever disagree. Try and be an adult.
There could be numerous reasons why someone is not married. You can't assume anything just based on them being single.
Maybe they never wanted to get married, and are just happier being single. Maybe they've had relationships that just never resulted in marriage, for whatever reason. It takes two people to result in a marriage, and maybe they weren't the problem, but the other person was. Maybe they're divorced? Who knows?
That's the point, though; without knowing the circumstances of a person's life, or the history of their relationships, you can't make the assumption that there is/was something wrong with them.
There is something wrong with you if you don't want to get married. Only traumatized people or people raised by single moms say they don't want to get married
Multiple long term relationships and no one wanted to marry you? That's a red flag.
You're free to think that, if you wish, but I disagree.
You're judging people without knowing anything about the circumstances of their life. You're criticizing based upon assumptions, and that says more about you, than it does about them.
I prefer to know more about a person's circumstances, before rending an opinion about something I know nothing about.
@orion8484
No one is going to be fully 100% honest to you about why they are single. It's easy as hell to lie cover up the fact you are unmarried cus no one wanted to marry you. So no, you can't ever know someone's full circumstance cus they will never tell the full truth
I'm sure some people are still single by a certain age because they were so busy they barely ever had time to date but I find this to be very uncommon reason
That's exactly my point, though; you're making assumptions about people that have no basis in fact.
If someone isn't 100% honest about why they're unmarried, then you have no information to go off of, and yet you're certain something is wrong with them.
Why? What are you basing that assessment on? Intuition? Opinion? You have nothing to support your judgement, other than the fact they are not married at a certain age. That's literally the only information you have, and yet you believe that's enough to make a character judgement about them?
What if someone was 40 years old, and all you knew about them was that they were curently single, but you didn't know it was because their spouse died of cancer?
You're assuming something is wrong with them, when in fact they are grieving the loss of their husband/wife. You don't know the facts, but you fedl qualified to judge them?
What a joke.
Well why wouldn't a high quality person be picked by a certain point?
it's not that hard to understand, you're making this way more complicated than it has to be
Do you realize that a lot of guys aren't interested in "settling down" until that age?
I have a relative who dated a lot of girls over the years but didn't get married and have kids until his 50's. Yes, she was about 20 years younger.
Most men don't settle down in their 50s. Having kids in 50s basically means you will never be able to retire and work til the day you die. Not a good plan
Sometimes it's just a lack of self-esteem. I've known men who would make excellent partners but didn't see themselves as very desirable so they never pursued any of the many women who were interested.
Attractive people don't need self esteem. They usually have people coming up to them. It's usually the less attractive ones or short ones who have low self esteem
@slatyb
if you don't have people coming up to you then chances are, you aren't as attractive as you think you are.
That would depend on your reasons. Most people who are still unmarried at 40 have dug that hole for themselves.
I try to not jump to conclusions about anyone and judge them as individuals. There can be many reason to explain why a person is not married.
I was married once and now i'm about to hit 41, is that a red flag? What if i don't want anyone 😏
there is something wrong with you if you don't want anyone. Usually only traumatized individuals or people raised by single parents tend to not want marriage. Who doesn't like to be loved and be cared for?
Did you read what i wrote you, i was married for 9 years, but after the divorce i lost my trust in women, i'm not saying all women are bad because i have many women who outstanding but it's just i'm not willing to take adventure anymore...
I adore loving and being loved but i'm 90% over!
@tonymetal___1986
so you're just basically saying you are too traumatized to ever marry again.
yup
there is no such thing as losing all trust in women or that all women are bad or that there are no good women. You're just traumatized
Right, sadly i'm traumatized, i prefer not to take my chances anymore...
@tonymetal___1986
yea thats the most common reason why people claim to be happy being single.
but the cons of that are huge.
I don't think there can ever be a substitute the position for a spouse. No temporary relationship will ever make up for the cemented family bond of husband and wife.
I agree and i never said that i'm happy single, maybe if someday, god puts the chosen woman for me in my way, i'll try again, i believe in a forever marriage, if it's not going to be forever, then i don't want it from the 1st place...
@tonymetal___1986
you can't predict a marriage will last forever right from the beginning. you can't "believe" a marriage will last forever. I have seen couples date happily for 10 years, get married, pop out kids then divorce after a few years of marriage. The woman you married might be a different person 10 years down the road... she might get fat... she might get lazy and stop cleaning the house leaving everything for you to do.
there is no definite "I know the marriage will last forever". But you need to take the risk if you want happiness.
Unfortunatly i'm dragged more into the negative road, maybe i prefer to stay like this, at least if i'm not happy then i won't be sad...
@tonymetal___1986
how do you know you won't be sad? Things get hard as you get older, seeing your parents die off, siblings fade away from your life, friend circles dismantling, living day to day gets physically harder, you might have financial issues, loneliness,
I'm not the type of guys who rely on women for finances, cause i prefer to pick the girl who loves to become a housewife, i don't have siblings, my father passed away from 12 years ago, my friends circle in real life is already very small, i'm about to hit 41, i'm not young anymore, and yes i feel lonely from time to time...
STILL with all these, a lot better then having a woman like my ex wife!
@tonymetal___1986
you sure are naive for 41. what if you lose your job or break your leg and can't work? who is going to pay the bills? if you get deathly sick and you have a wife with no skills and can't work a job... who will support you while you are dying over the next few years?
if you have kids, things will even be worse. Once you get injured or die, your poor wife will be left all alone with children that she cannot support. you can say life insurance... but will the life insurance be enough? cost of living will only get more expensive in the future.
Having a stay home wife is fun... as long as things go well and tragedy does not hit. But once it does hit, there is no saving you
Thanks for telling me that i'm naïve for my age, guess that's who i am, sorry if i'm not the type that you like, that's just me, whether you like me or not, let's close this subject, thanks for the chat and have a nice day 🙋🏻♂️
@tonymetal___1986
i didn't mean that as an insult. just presenting another perspective of the situation
people who get married young doesn't mean they are high quality. Most of them aren't.
Well why wouldn't a high quality person be picked by a certain point?
i don't know what is high quality to you
People can be single at old age for many reasons. Some people can never find their match in the place they live in
People who have high standards can also end up alone. an if they don't lower theirs standards they will never find a partner. Many reasons people can be single. So if the girl get pregnant at teen, does that mean she is high quality? Because someone sleep with her in high school, so she got pick at young age
well doesn't someone with super duper ultra high standards have something wrong with them? why would anyone prefer to be all lonely neglected and alone than to enjoy the imperfect company of someone else? I'm willing to bet these people aren't perfect themselves.
there are many reasons why some end up married or single. they have different reasons. It could be sickness etc. but I wouldn't group together like people who married young are high values, I would not group like this. and if you talking about it's better to be not single, actually it's better to be single than be with the wrong person. Just because someone got married earlier in life doesn't mean they are high values or whatever. also some women choose that, to marry young because of religion or they got pregnant etc, also men. Some people wait. I don't get who comes up with stuff like that, I don't group people like that
also people can change. and lives, you can be really rich when you are young and end up broke etc.
everyone should have a choice to decide if they want to marry, stay single, when they want to marry. not others
@opinion owner
I don't believe that you dated from the age of 18 all the way to 40 and still have not met the right person. Do you realize how long that is? 22 years and you have never been able to find 1 person who is acceptable for you? I don't believe that.
Maybe they were commitment phobic, maybe they have unreasonable standards, maybe they have problems within themselves.
From what I have seen, if you are a decently attractive person with decent social skills, decent character, decent job, you will almost definitely be taken by a certain point.
More of a choice, marrige is just a shitty contract paper.
No. There are many many possible reasons for that.
Basically.
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