Sending boyfriend pictures of engagement rings...

[Anonymous]

My friend (and manager) at work was telling me that she sends her boyfriend pictures of engagement rings often so he "gets the hint."

I told my boyfriend this and laughed about it because her boyfriend just totally ignores them.

My boyfriend told me, in total seriousness, that if I wanted to do that too, he'd be okay with it. He said it'd "make his job a whole lot easier."

So what are your thoughts on this? Think he has engagement on the brain? Or at least sees me as a potential spouse?

What do you make of this all?

We've been together for two years (three months longer than my manager and her boyfriend).

[Darkfairie17]

Honestly, it's just one of those things that guys who are in serious relationships think about at times and know is going to come up eventually. Your boyfriend is totally being a good sport about that issue. I think it's a good sign that he's not completely adverse to talking about it and even said he would be okay with it, and even thought that it was funny what your manager was doing. Those are all good signs.

The best thing to do is to communicate. Have a talk with him about the future. Don't put pressure on him, just ask him how he thinks the relationship is going and can he see you together long-term.

There's no harm in telling him if you really do want to be with him long-term. Lots of couples forget to talk about this and then one party ends up getting hurt. I was in one of those situations, and it sucks big time. I dated a guy for 2+ years, and never talked about the relationship with him. Any time I tried he would shut that conversation down. This was a huge red flag that I blatantly ignored. I should have been more forward with him and told him how I felt, and then asked him to make up his mind, but I didn't. I sat woefully hoping that one day he would wake up and decide to 'pick me!'. Well that day never came, and he actually moved away.

So in this relationship that I am in now I am much more vocal about how I feel. You don't have to force the issue on your boyfriend, just bring it up casually. You two have been together long enough to know how comfortable the topic is for each of you.

[kmhco]

Well I would think a guy would at least want to know what style ring a girl would want to wear so in that context I think its a pretty good idea. A lot of people I know have gone ring shopping before getting engaged. The girl gets to pick out a ring she wants (or gives the guy an idea of what she wants) and he goes back some other time and gets it to surprise her. I imagine sending pictures is the same thing.

Of course, if you're only doing it so the guy "get's the hint" instead of having a conversation and figuring out a general timeline of what you both want then its pretty stupid and immature.

[Asker]

Oh I wouldn't be doing it so he "gets the hint." We've discussed the idea of marriage, but just in passing. So he's aware of where my head is. You think this is his way of telling me where his head is?

[kmhco]

Its possible. He's obviously telling you he's not afraid of that commitment. I would have a conversation with him to get a clearer picture of when he thinks would be a good time for taking that particular step forward.

[maddog998]

You can try to throw hints but sometimes it better to wait until he is 100% ready and saved up for a ring.

[swiftsaver602]

Well, he might not necessarily have engagement on the brain, but it's obviously not averse to talking about it, so that's a good sign