He remembers HER birthday & forgets mine?

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with this guy for 5 months. I have helped him through some deep emotional issues lately, been supportive and made him laugh when no one else could.

He is in love with his ex but they broke up over a year ago. He has memorized everything this girl has ever said or done. I strongly dislike her after the way she treated him. He acts like she was some damned goddess.

I feel very insulted and hurt that he has had to ask when my birthday is TWICE (my birthday is this week) yet he remembers hers instantly. What would you do? How would you feel?

[blueyaa]

If she is an ex, then he might have had his crush on her for a long time, and that time is the spot where your mind absorbs everything about this girl. If you've only been friends for 5 months, its normal for him not to know your birthday, especially if you're only friends.

I have a girlfriend, I've known her birthday since the fist time I heard her say it. I also know my best friend's birthday because I used to have a crush on her, but we decided it would be best for us to remain friends and that's it. My best guy friend, now, I have no clue what season his birthday is in.

Look at it this way, at least he is concerned enough to ask about your birthday. On my birthday, the only two people who knew were my best friend and my girlfriend, everyone else just found out from them.

[2Mysterious]

He was probably with his ex for a long time so that would make it understandable that he would remember her birthday instantly. And it sounds like he's still trying to get over the break up. Some people take longer to get over things than others and he might of been hurt badly. His mind is probably all over the place so I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt or insult you. Just remember that you've done a good thing by being supportive and a friend and that's probably what he needed :)

[Asker]

You're right. Thank you.

[2Mysterious]

That's ok, you're welcome :)

[justme91]

He had a deep connection with his ex, and as you said, he is still in love with her. It is expected that he would remember her birthday. Even though you've helped him out a lot, you haven't known him that long, and you can't expect him to just forget his ex, and suddenly be in love with you, that's never going to work. Based on the fact that you are so bothered by such a trivial thing, I think you have feelings for him (more than friendship) and that you should tread carefully, because of his very evident feelings for his ex.

[Brianna987]

Sounds like you have strong feelings for him. And it also sounds like he doesn't have feelings for you, but her. You can't change the way he feels toward her. If I were in your shoes I'd probably feel the same. However, that's not gonna change anything. If you can't accept that he has feelings for her, then cool off that friendship, since it is giving you too much pain