Is Lingerie an acceptable birthday gift?

[KenworthW900]

When you have a really good friend for almost ten years. She knows you are romantically interested in her. Would it be an acceptable gift for her if you choose à teddy or maybe a bodysuit

[Cynicaldreamer]

NO! Don't be that person!!!

Lingerie is only appropriate if you're actually dating someone. Even if she knows you like her, until you're in a relationship with her- that's definitely pushing the boundaries. Because she still sees you as a friend. That's implying you see her in a sexual manner, and yeah I'm sure you do, but again: you're not dating her.

Please stick to a safer, "friendlier" gift.

[KenworthW900]

Any ideas. She is an amazing woman who dose me the world to me. I'm just trying to find something that conveys that to her

[Cynicaldreamer]

Hmm, depends: are you going for something that says, "I cherish you, and you're a dear person to me..." Or, "I like you, and hope this gift shows I like you as more than a friend?"

I recommend taking her out to a nice dinner at her favorite place (yes, basically a date!) and spend the day with her. That's the safest gift!!! Depending on how long you've known her, is what kind of gift you should get her: I don't recommend lingerie; seriously, just don't. But if you know what she's into (like a hobby or interest) focus a gift around that

[KenworthW900]

Thanks. I do cherish her a nd dinner was part of the plan. Her interests are a mystery to me although I've know her for so many years. She dose enjoy shopping but how do I go about offering a day of shopping

[Cynicaldreamer]

Ooh, okay... so plan!

On her birthday, or maybe a day or two before if she already has plans, ask her if she wants to go out shopping with you. And let her go in all her favorite stores and let her look around, browse, try on clothes, etc... and you STAY there with her! No matter how boring it is, lol.
Offer as a birthday gift to buy her something she likes or wants- because you'll be right there with her and can't screw it up.

[KenworthW900]

I thank you. It do sound sbrew up proffered. And I have no problem spending an entire day following her around. I just love to see her with a smile on her face

[Cynicaldreamer]

Aww...
I really hope things work out between you two. Just spend time with her and let her know how much she means to you :)

Good luck!

[KenworthW900]

Why thank you for all your help I'll have to let everyone know how things go. Her birthday is near the end of August

[charltonhestonsgma]

yeah

[KenworthW900]

Thanks for the reply. Do you think a necklace with a pendant and and a matching bracelet would be nice or to much

[charltonhestonsgma]

absolutely! excellent! that way its less like you're just trying to fuck. if she also gets matching jewelry, its like a set. its nice. and she can use the jewelry for other things, you know? you aren't just gifting her something to wear in the bedroom, but also pieces that she can wear to work or social events. just make sure none of the items look cheap. its fine if they are cheap; thrift and antique stores often sell beautiful items for very low prices, but if it looks cheap and if a person can easily tell the materials are lower class, it seems scummy. the wrapping should be very classy and detail-oriented as well. also, itd be best if the lingerie is also comfy and something she can wear by herself to bed if she so chooses. very subtle and very elegant.

[KenworthW900]

What about something in the photo in the question. I was thinking of something in silk or satin or is there a better material. I want her to feel super comfy. No scratchy material

[charltonhestonsgma]

100% silk would be great, yeah

[KenworthW900]

Might you DM me so we can continue talking. I have a couple more ideas and would like your opinion. And help

[K-I-S-S]

So you are friendzoned?

No gift will get you out.

Work on yourself man. Get fit, get skilled, earn good income, have goals and ambition, be strong willed in your life.

Your time is valuable to you, let her know that. Don't spend that much time with her and don't always be free.

Date/talk to other women.
And with all that you also look like a good partner to her. If that is what you want.

Buy her what you want, either it's lingerie or a huge teddy. Be kind and good to her but don't be a pussy and worry about what she will think or how the relationship will go. Just be you.

[SaoirseS]

No don’t buy her lingerie. But I see nothing wrong with a gift card to someplace that sells lingerie among other things. That way she can get something she wants or needs, not something you want to see on her (and maybe take off of her). If a boyfriend were to give me a VS gift card I’d be replacing a lot of undies that have holes in them 😀

[EmbraceThePain]

“Romantically interested” and “good friend.”
No, you’re not really friends then.
As for lingerie being a good gift in this scenario, no, I don’t think it is. If you were an intimate partner then that would make more sense and wouldn’t be awkward, creepy, etc.

[Curmudgeon]

If you were intimate already, it would be excellent. But as friends? I owuld say NO. But then you typed this:

"She has had me purchase clothes for her before which included lingerie. Although she did ask me to then and thus wasn't a surprise."

Which is unusual.

[jshm2]

Sure - if they've asked for it.

But be honest, you know it's going to get taken the wrong way - especially as sizes are crazy in them, if you give her a bi size she's going to think you think she's fat, if a size too small then she's going to think you want her to be lose weight, etc.

Save yourself the stress and buy her something decent instead.

[Phoenix98]

Ehh I'd say hold off on that unless your dating or preferably in a relationship with her. And even then if giving lingerie as a gift it's best to also give her something she'd actually want along with it. Because lets be honest lingerie is usually more of a gift for us.

[FinalFantasyBro]

I honestly wouldn't recommend it as a friendly gift, if you do really want to give her a present I recommend asking if she even want a present or not. If she do you can ask her if she has anything in mind she been trying to get or she probably isn't the sort of a person who actually want a gift.

But the idea of lingerie is more for a relationship purpose, you know if you guys were dating or married but considering you two are only friends I honestly wouldn't recommend that route.

[comekitty]

I don't think it'd be appropriate unless there's some kind of relationship happening. You may end up pushing her away.

[KenworthW900]

She will be turning 34 herself and is a mom. Just to give a little insite I was also looking at a necklace with a pendant and a matching bracelet. Any ideas

[Schnyder21]

Don’t do this. Something like this is to be worn for and with someone. She will never wear it.
I’d recommend taking her on an experience. Something you can do together.

[OlderAndWiser]

No, if you have remained in the friendzone for 10 years, they is not going to get you out of that jail. Lingerie should be given between sexual partners only.

[burlen]

She is just your friend. I think lingerie would be appropriate if you were dating her. I would play it safe by gifting her a voucher that relates to any of her interests.

[Adam1978]

Not really, I mean the person giving the lingerie is implied to see her in it. So that is basically just a gift for sexual partners. So you need to have that kind of relationship.

[TommyMountainFigure]

She knows you are romantically interested in her, but before I saw yay or nay on the lingerie, how does she feel about you romantically speaking? because that really would define my answer.

[Bee-Hatch]

Have you had sex with this friend? If not that could kill the friendship

[KenworthW900]

In answer to your question" no. She has had me purchase clothes for her befor which included lingerie. Although she did ask me to then and thus wasn't a surprise

[Carrot6969]

Dude don't do it. She might get creeped out. Maybe ask her on a date and tell her how you feel. Then gift a lingerie.

[Wonderer89]

Unless you’re in a relationship or having casual sex lingerie is never an appropriate gift

[Braveheart4321]

Absolutely not, the only time it is not creepy as fuck is if you are in a sexual relationship with them. And even then it's still a selfish gift.

[Anonymous]

Nope, especially if she's not your girlfriend or wife.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Yeah but not every year 😂. I would like it as a gift though.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

But I didn't read the other part only if it's your partner, not a friend if you're a straight guy...

[Sensitive_Tea]

There is nothing wrong with lingerie as long as you know she will be comfortable wearing something like that.

[pankaj317]

Depends on the persona dn the relation who is gifting
who gifted to you?

[Jlegacy]

It dependa on your thing with the person. If you guys are buddies, yes. Just friends, no. Dating? some cases yes others no. Married, Heck yes.

[molonski2]

Not for a friend..
Its an after you have slept together gift , its personal..

[andreasderjuengere]

To give lingerie as a gift is like giving a gift to myself.
I can do better.

[KenworthW900]

It isn't the only things I' giving her. I like to see many things opened at birthdays I also have jewelry and a few other things she has wanted

[andreasderjuengere]

Apparently, you as well also can do better :)

[Slartybartfast]

I prefer power tools, but whatever floats your boat.

[DarkWinterNights]

Not unless the two of you are already romantically involved.

[The-Wise-Phoenix]

I have given Lingerie to my woman as a gift many times.

[little_black_dress]

Prior to the pandemic my boyfriend took me to VS and let me pick what I wanted

[Rambler221]

I would er on the side of caution gifting lingerie to someone I was not romantically involved with and who had not expressed an interest in owning it. Basically - no. I think it's a bad idea.

[Wise4myage]

Not a good idea unless you are certain she is gonna have sex with you.

[GirlFromWork]

I mean it may not be acceptable to give to a random stranger or your mother on her birthday, but it would be acceptable to give it to your wife

[dray995]

It’s not appropriate unless you’re having sex with her.

[Anonymous]

No, unless you're already in a sexual relationship with her it's just creepy

[fuzzy0ne]

As long as she's going to wear it for the guy yes it's an acceptable gift for him

[Anonymous]

no pls don't
if I had a boyfriend and he gave me lingeries, i'd get mad
leave alone a friend

[Anonymous]

Lingerie is such a shitty gift. It’s basically a gift for the man, not the woman.

[Anonymous]

My father in law wasn't happy with it. It might depend on who you give it to.

[SnakeBoop]

No. That's just creepy. And weird.

[sarahlumpkin]

As long as he doesn't ejaculate in the bra cup.

[KenworthW900]

No worries about that happening. I would much rather ejuaculte when making love

[sarahlumpkin]

*smile*

[MudRucker]

Cringe much?

[SphynxUK]

No. It’s not acceptable!

[ElizaPam]

It’s a first date gift

[sarahlumpkin]

Not something personal on a first date.

[RebeccaSJ]

Mmmm hmmm. It's a fine gift for both of us.

[KenworthW900]

Maybe you would like to message me directly

[MudRucker]

Only if you are sleeping with her.

[exitseven]

I don't know about that. It might be awkward.

[FreyaRed]

Not for a friend.

[Iron_Man]

No
that’s a cheap gift

[NerdyAndTall]

for a friend no

[JennieF]

Yeah fine. I love it. I have a bunch.

[888theGreat]

Your taste might not be hers

[Turtleneck22]

I wouldn’t. But that’s me.

[lpoots]

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[liam741]

Only if she shows interest back

[Anonymous]

Maybe but it really depends on the friendship

[Schizoaffective]

Nope

[Sketti2021]

I don't think so

[Jamie05rhs]

No. It's not.

[HaveNoName]

Only to your wife.

[In_Trance]

No it isn't

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Nope