Would you give a gift anyway or respect her wishes?

[Anonymous]

There is an aunt who some relatives will celebrate her 70th birthday tomorrow at a house of one of this aunt sister. This aunt is lets say very frugal and simple in her things. She lieks to reuse, recycle things, she believes in natural medicine, never got a COVID or flu shot but still with her natural medicine she always got sick with the flu or cold, do not spend a lot of money in things, when she was a teacher at a university many years ago she was a communist so she is still from that party and her life evolves around that. She is a social worker.

So tomorrow one of my cousins will organize a small bday gathering for her at my cousins mom house. The house is very small. So this aunt is asking the relatives assisting that please do not give her gifts, our presence is enough for her and the good food. But when she asked everyone no physical gifts she said that due to our hard times the country is living (like things are expensive and we have to save) we need to be frugal in our expenses.

I mean my aunt is asking the relatives that due to the cost of living please no gifts for her as we need to be frugal. I mean I found that a bit odd, cause my aunt can't force a person not to give her a gift just because the country is going through hard times and we need to be frugal. I mean what if a relative can afford and have the means to give her a gift? Im not saying a super expensive gift, any physical gift or do u think we have to respect what our aunt asked us? You stil can find small nice cheap gifts out there but my aunt on the way she thinks (always political) does not want anyone to give her anything,

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's a really tricky situation. Your aunt definitely seems like she wants to keep things lowkey with her birthday since she's not really into big parties or gifts. But at the same time, it's still her birthday and family should want to celebrate her somehow. I get why she doesn't want people spending a ton of money right now if things are tough financially, but she also shouldn't try to stop people from getting her anything at all if they're able to.

Maybe what you could do is talk to your other cousins and see if you guys could all pitch in together to make her a nice homemade gift basket or something. That way you're still giving her a present for her birthday, but it's not super expensive since you're splitting up the cost of stuff. You could put in some homemade cookies, a nice card that everyone signs, maybe a photo collage of all the family members putting in pictures - stuff like that which wouldn't break the bank but shows you put thought into it.

And if people still want to get her little things individually, they should be allowed to. Just make it clear they don't need to spend a fortune. Maybe get her something handmade or a gift card for like $10-20 max so it's not too expensive. At the end of the day she's family and you want her to feel loved on her special day, even if she says she doesn't want presents. A homemade gift or small things from everyone could be a good compromise so you're respecting what she said but also still celebrating her. Talk to your cousins and see what they think is a good idea.

[Makeushiver]

Well at least she's consistent. Maybe something of a gag that costs l, ess than $5.00 would be appropriate. et her a beaten up copy of Das Kapitral or if you can find anything with old Sov. synbol Hammer & sickle. You don't have enough time but a Russian coin (Kopek) is almost worthless even a Ruble would cost yu less than $1.00

[KrakenAttackin]

Does she drink wine? You can't go wrong with a nice bottle of wine.

[Anonymous]

I would respect her wishes.