My husband and I we can't be a team if he isn't careful with the finances?

[Anonymous]

I am a very frugal person. My husband on the other hand not so much. How can we be a team when he is not willing to save money. In my agenda to cut off cost family and friends take pictures and donate their furniture of course if we need it I don't hoard things or I just buy it second hand. My husband and I we were looking for a 🛋️ sofa love seat to save space and money. My husband want to shop at retail store furniture where furniture cost over $1000 when family members have offer to give us their furniture. In my agenda that is very expensive w. Its exusting and irritated to me how my husband just wants to waste money. My husband gets upset at me for using coupons on groceries and looking at flyers to find the sales my husband gets upset tells me to just go forget about sales and call it a day. In my mind I want to cut out grocery budget in half. Not to long ago my husband bought a brand new Cadillac 2025 without telling me first or having a conversation when we have good running vehicles my anxiety went off the walls. I bought a small house but my husband keeps on telling me he wants to sale this house and buy a new built house in an HOA community. I don't live in a ghetto but I love my small town people here knows everyone and everybody and the I love the environment I will miss my small town. I have seen other couple actually being a team when it comes to budgeting and finances. I wish my husband would just sit down with me and talk about the finances. I am scare if he continues we will end up in debt. I am all about debt free I don't used credit cards at all. I set a budget and used cash. This situations scares me. My aunt give me her furniture and my husband got angry with me told me he was embarrassed. This makes me so sad. How can my husband and I be a team when he throws out money carelessly?

[StarWarGirl]

You can set some rules and some boundaries discussing together.

For example you can set a limit that this much amount will be saved on regular basis. As investment or as just saving you can decide because you are more aware about this things. And that money won't be touched by him on ANY condition or ANY situation. Only you can decide when and where to spend that money. That money can be useful for you during some emergency or during difficult days.

All other money can be spent. So that's how he could be satisfied on his belief on spending money.

And another boundry you can make that, you both can discuss together that who will have more to say in buying something. For example you can choose that how and where to spend grocery that you will decide, no matter your husband has disagreement over that but he has to accept your choice. Similarly what to buy in furniture or from where to buy your husband can choose that. And no matter you feel like he is spending too much still you won't say anything on that. It will be his final say.

Like that you can decide your boundaries what you both will respect and won't interfere. You only can give suggestions but you will accept whatever they decide if it was their department.

Like that you can manage and handle this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a really tough situation you're dealing with, girl. It sounds like you and your husband have some major differences when it comes to finances, and that can really put a strain on your relationship.

I totally get why you're being so careful and frugal - that's just smart money management. But it sucks that your husband doesn't seem to value that or be willing to compromise. Wanting to buy a brand new Cadillac without even discussing it with you first? That's a red flag for sure.

It's awesome that you have family and friends who are willing to help out with things like furniture, but it's not cool that your husband gets upset about that. He should be appreciating the support, not feeling embarrassed.

The key thing here is that you two need to get on the same page when it comes to money. Budgeting, saving, spending - it's gotta be a team effort. I know it's frustrating, but try to have an open and honest conversation with him about your concerns. Maybe you can find a middle ground where you both feel comfortable.

At the end of the day, you're both in this together, so you gotta work together. Don't be afraid to stand your ground, but also try to understand where he's coming from. Compromise is key. I really hope you two can figure this out and become the financial powerhouse team you deserve to be!

[strateguy632]

I disagree, you still need to be a team, and not be bossy unless he does major expenses in a reckless way, like my ex buying an expensive dress as an excuse not to pay rent, no money left, that was major.

[dustybiker2]

How did you manage to get married?
You're gonna have to sit down and find some level ground. Keep in mind that neither of you can be right it's a relationship and that has to be balanced.

And PS you do not want to live in an HOA

[Asker]

Believe me when people say love is blind it is. Let me just put it that way.

[dustybiker2]

Haha Good luck.

[69Lonely69]

you can still be a team, just guide him?

[moneymagnet24]

You trap Babe I bet it's a love marriage