Boyfriend forgot my birthday?

[Anonymous]

Yesterday was my birthday.I have been together 2 years with my boyfriend and he forgot my birthday yesterday. I'm really upset about this because he always treats me well and I can't say anything bad about him but I can't understand how he could forget my birthday. When I told him last night per text, he was shocked that he forgot it and said that he had so much on his mind with moving, however he knows that is no excuse. He tried calling me about 20 times but I ignored him. I don't know how to go about with this...I'm just so disappointed and don't feel like talking to him for a while. Has this happened to any of you? How would you go about with it?

[billy_young]

You have every right to be upset, that's a pretty serious thing to do. But, ignoring his calls and not speaking to him for ages isn't really going to help anyone. It's going to make him feel really bad and it's going to mean you just sit there sulking and thinking that he doesn't love you for days on end until you convince yourself that he's not the right guy for you and subsequently really hate him for a while.

Yes, forgetting your partner of 2 years' birthday is unacceptable, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or that you're not important in his life. If he's in the middle of moving house or something, it is understandable that he has a lot on his mind, but still, he should have remembered your birthday. Some people are just really forgetful - I'm one of those people. I often remember that it's someone's birthday about a week before and sometimes get them a card or present or something, then on the day I completely forget until I notice it on my calendar or something. It doesn't mean they're not important, just that I forgot.

So, instead of making him suffer your silence, I suggest you use it to your advantage. Right now, he knows that he's really in the wrong and that you're really upset. That means he really wants to make it up to you. He ought to get you a really nice gift or something. If you ignore him for a few days, he's going to stop feeling sorry and start feeling annoyed and therefore not be in a particularly generous mood.

So, next time he calls or whatever, answer and talk to him. Let him apologize, make it clear that you're upset, but say you'll forgive him if he takes you out for a nice dinner or if you can go away for the weekend together or something like that - make him feel that he owes you (he really does!) and get him to do something really nice and romantic to make up for it :) That way, everyone wins - you get a nice present, he feels really bad and won't forget again, but he gets to make it up to you and he gets forgiven, and both of you get to spend some nice romantic time together :)

[avome]

This answer makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :)

[Asker]

Thank you for this long answer. Makes me feel better:-)

[billy_young]

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Thanks:D

[Spirit156]

Happy birthday even tough I'm a bit late.. But we men are kinda forgetfull

I kinda am the same as your boyfriend really.. I don't know anyones birthday exept my own, its probably because some guys dint attach much value to birthdays and holidays. Id be even forgetting hollidays without a calender

All my exes kept it in tge back of their heads: we got a relationship at this exact date, while I'm like oh it was un June.. Big diffrence as you can see.. But yeah you have the right to be upset but don't be too hard on the poor dude

[Anonymous]

Happy birthday! :)

I don't buy it when people say "It's just a birthday. You are overreacting!". No, it's very important especially for the one you love to remember it, spoil you and enjoy it together. It's not about the expensive gifts or going to a fancy restaurant, just a nice red rose will do. It just shows how much this person cares about you. So, yeah, it's important and you are not overreacting. You have all the right to feel upset.

On the other hand, I believe it when he says that he totally forgot - not a good excuse or even justified but I believe him. Sometimes you are overwhelmed and stressed that you forget which day it is today. I think he is very sorry and this is why he tried to make it up for you and I'm sure he'll think of something sweet the next days. :)

If I were you, I'd be upset for a while then forget about it IF he shows remorse and tries to make it up for me. Anything sweet and sincere will do. As you said, he has always been treating you well so no need to ruin what you have for just one mistake.

Again, happy birthday. :)

[jjyyjjyy]

Same thing happened to me today. I am really upset despite his call and apologies afterwards. He was sick so I was expecting him to stay home and rest. Later he told me that he went out for a work party and he did not say a happy birthday to me. I am letting go this for now and waiting to see how he acts after this. I'll evaluate our relationship based on his overall actions not just one incidence. I want to give him a chance because this is not a deadly mistake and know that we all make mistakes. It won't be acceptable if the same thing persists over and over. Then I will reevaluate and perhaps move on.

[pykito-veronique]

Motherf***er. Do this for his next birthday LEAVE THE F***ING COUNTRY for a week and leave that motherf***er dry on his ass. We'll see how he'd feel about THAT, maybe next time he'd take your birthday more seriously. I think yes, you should make a big f***ing deal. And you fully have the right to be as pissed off as you want to. Basically this is your green light to treat him like the a**hole that he is. And I don't think you should just go up and forgive him right away. That's just f***ing ridiculous. He has to make it up to you, properly. Until then do whatever the f*** you feel as right. If you don't wanna talk to him, do that. Just let him know he's not just gonna slip and slide through this like nothing happened. Maybe take some time to explain to him how this is a really big f***ing deal for you, that big, that you don't even know how to react, so you had to ask in a WEBSITE how to react. It's that uncanny.

[PoeticNinja]

Out of the two years they've been together... Give me a f***ing break.

You and QA should go cry a river together. You are blowing this way out of proportion.

It's human to forget things like this. You have more birthdays down the road.

[pykito-veronique]

oh so you're a cliche bullsh*t kind of bitch, run along

[YourBruise]

Personally, I'd say suck it up and forgive him. Yeah it hurts that he forgot your birthday but to be honest, not everyone is good at remembering those things. Did you mention it at all coming up to it? Men sometimes need little reminders. Heck, my Dad of all people forgot how old I was and had to ask! Ignoring his calls is also a little immature, you should talk to him about it. He's moving, its incredibly stressful and I think its valid reason for forgetting your birthday. What I don't understand is why you didn't tell him till the night time. Surely if he hadn't called or texted you to wish you happy birthday before then surely that set off a red flag in your mind.

Basically, talk to him, let him apologize and make it up to you.

[PoeticNinja]

Wow, you're making a big deal out of this. In my opinion..

He apologized, you have other birthdays that will come around. You should apologize to him for blowing it out of proportion. Perhaps, he will make it up to you and you can make it up to him. If anything..

Not everybody can remember such a date when they have so much on their mind, cut him some slack. It's just once, be happy he doesn't have amnesia.

[pykito-veronique]

Oh yeah, HE APOLOGIZED, I'll shoot you in the leg and apologize, no big deal. I mean an apology makes everything okay, right? BULLSHIT. And for what the hell kind of reason should she apologize to him? Are you f***ing kidding me? He's the f***ing a**hole, it's her BIRTHDAY, it's not like he forgot to buy her the ice cream she asked him for, that's no big deal. He should lick her ass and make her walk on f***ing pillows and gold and diamonds and chocolate UNTIL she feels like she forgives him.

[Burgundy55]

I am currently going through this as well me and my boyfriend's birthday are a week apart all this week I dud not hear anything from him I kept saying to myself he's going to forget but I still had some hope sadly I was right I messaged him twice he still never replied I called him no answer at least your boyfriend called or text you back mines has yet to respond back to me, I understand exactly how you feel some people say it's not a big deal but it is when you love and care about somebody and plus my boyfriend's birthday was just last week unbelievable...

[izzymyTDA]

This practicly just happened to me too! I have no idea how to deal with it. I mentioned it to him and he's apologized alot...but idk...its kind of a big deal to me...

[Asker]

Hey, I know exactly how you fee. I was really upset and dissapointed and it was hard to forgive him, however he made it very clear that he really did forget and it was not on purpose. The next day he sent me a huge bunch of flowers. Although I still can't understand how on earth you could forget your girlfriend birthday, I moved on and I know that deep down he really loves me and he has proved that many other times. Just let your boyfriend know how you feel and I'm sure he will make it up to you some way or anot