My boyfriend forgot my birthday. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend openly admitted to forgetting my birthday. I'm pretty upset about it. He usually remembers dates like that. We have plans the day before with my family to celebrate and he knows it. Well, he signed up to work overtime that day, so now, he can't come to the family thing.

When I questioned why he did that on that day, he just said he had forgotten about my birthday. That really hurt my feelings. He also told me he didn't plan on getting me anything anyhow because he didn't have the money. I didn't expect something fancy. I didn't expect anything. I told him he was enough of a gift to me. I do kind of wish he would do something simple yet romantic - like write me a little letter or something. We have pens and paper like most households, so that would be a free "gift" and a really nice gesture because it would come from the heart. But I don't think he would ever think to do anything like that.

I feel like if I brought that up, he would then do it, but only because he felt he had to and then it wouldn't feel genuine.

Then I told him I'd just go by myself to still celebrate my birthday and he seemed to be offended by it. Well, why shouldn't I still be allowed to go celebrate with my family? You chose to work because you forgot. That's your fault. You could have checked first to make sure we didn't have plans for that time.

I just kind of feel like he doesn't really care a whole lot or put in much effort towards me and our relationship. I do a lot. Not just material things, but other things. Like I'll give him a back rub after a long day. I'll get him little things I see when I'm out that I know he'll like. I show I think of him in many ways. I am always considerate of his time too. If we plan something, I make sure I stay with it. I don't skip out or "forget".

I know people forget things, but I don't know. I'm just not very happy about that. Especially with him getting annoyed that I still want to go celebrate without him.

[emeraldsaphire]

My ex once almost forgot my birthday. It was like 7PM when I got a text lol. They seemed really apologetic and I forgave them, but I'd be lying if I didn't cry that day.

Honestly this guy kinda sounds like a jerk. The forgetting the b-day is one thing, but then getting mad at you for wanting to celebrate it alone.

My recommendation is to have a good old fashion heart to heart. Talk about how you feel, and let him open up about how he feels. Maybe he's been stressed at work. He felt guilty that he couldn't get you a gift, so he put it out of his mind. Also in my experience overtime is vary rarely optional. He may also have felt guilty for you going alone. So his guilt came out as anger.

Regardless of the reasons, you deserve better then this. If he's not willing to put in the work then you should move on.

[Asker]

His company does sometimes offer a little overtime if people want to accept it. He always says no. But this time he said yes and he happened to choose the exact day of these plans. Then claims he forgot, but wants to be upset at me for still wanting to go celebrate.

[AI Opinion]

Hey, relationship guru Brad here to sprinkle some wisdom! It sounds like you're facing a tough situation, and it's totally okay to feel hurt. Forgetting your birthday can feel like a major relationship oopsie. Open communication is key here—let him know how you feel without turning it into a blame game. Express your feelings and what you'd appreciate moving forward, like those heartfelt gestures you mentioned. Remember, love isn't just about grand gestures but the little things that come from the heart. Stay true to your feelings, and enjoy celebrating with people who shower you with love and appreciation. 😊

[Astarlessnightsky]

Add the date to his calender.

[Jj1994]

Forget his