My boyfriend forgot when my birthday was?

[Anonymous]

I asked my boyfriend when my birthday was and he said he forgot and he doesn't remember those things and I got a bit upset cause If someone is important to me I'd know every small detail about them , anyway I know not everyone thinks the same but when I asked him since he forgot isn't he going to even ask and he said no it's not important to him , he doesn't even celebrate his own birthday cause it's useless and he just dismissed it saying it's not important and we just think differently on these kinds of things, thoughts?

[Mr_twoface]

Sadly I think its very common. My wife for instance forgot my Birthday and once folks in my family chat send me greetings, she baked a cake :D

For me it isn't a big thing the first or second time, but if it becomes a patern I would just put it into their phone :)

If its important for you, then he should make the effort to at least put it into his calendar on the phone to be reminded. When you love and care for someone, you do take the smal actions to satisfy them, not ignore it.

[Asker]

So if he doesn't even wanna know?

[Mr_twoface]

For me being ignorant towards someone you claim to like/love/care for, equals to just saying those words with no action. Its something for you to decide whether he is worth it for you or not given him ignoring something that clearly is important for you.

[Asker]

Thank you 😊

[newboy78]

He did not forget. Since he considers bdays as useless, he did not bother to note it down at all. If he is not excited about his bday itself, I'm sure he is not going to give much importance to other people's bdays.

Might be you can change it by starting to celebrate his bdays and let him know how fun it can be

[Asker]

True thanks

[AmandaYVR]

"If someone is important to me I'd know every small detail about them"

Wrong. Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

Memory is not love-contingent. Some people really don't remember dates.

If he really, really cared, and wanted to make you happy, and cared about birthdays, he could write it down. But not doing that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you at all.

Probably just cut him some slack.

[Asker]

Well that's what I said everyone is different And I'm terrible at dates so I wrote his down and eventually memorized it but he out right said it's not important to him so he still doesn't wanna know , doesn't know up until now

[rosemilk]

this is clearly important to you and the fact that he isn't putting in an effort to make you feel special when your birthday comes around is just not a good partner.

[Asker]

That's how I felt

[OlderAndWiser]

Does he show you love in other ways?

[Asker]

Lol actions I've yet to see

[Asker]

Words yes

[OlderAndWiser]

Doesn't sound like there's much of a bond there.

[JacobJordan]

Both my wife and I grew up not celebrating birthdays much so while we know the month we don't always remember the day because it isn't that important to us

[Asker]

That's fair thank you

[McLlovin]

I feel the same about my birthday until i reach age 50 just to celebrate life. I find it as an achievement to be alive every 20 years…. Im probably weird now but thats how I feel about it.

[Asker]

Lol well to each their own

[boggboss]

If he said it saying he dont even celabtsit his own it makes sense its not somthing he feels is important now u get to decide if thats somthing u are happy with in a partner

[Asker]

Okay what about forgetting my surname and doesn't really wanna be reminded

[boggboss]

Seems the thing your partner values are odd again u have to decide if this is what u want u can't make him like these things if he has no intrest

[Asker]

True

[Asker]

Thanks for the opinion

[spartan55]

Great choice, your boyfriend is a jackass. Start blowing off things that are important to him and see what his dumb ass does.

[Asker]

Like what do you think?

[spartan55]

Well, he's not my boyfriend, so I wouldn't know what is important to him. Surely you would know... gaming, hunting, DIY projects... something he is into. Get him to feel like you feel, but don't just do that and not close. Say: "see dipshit, sucks when you aren't important to your girlfriend". I guess dumping the slug is out of the question? I'll never understand how mfers like your boyfriend even get a date, much less a girlfriend.

[spartan55]

Are you sure he knows he is your boyfriend? I see that he doesn't know your surname either? Wtf? Have some respect ffs.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, appreciate it

And yes unfortunately out of the question lol

But yeah doesn't know and doesn't wanna know, he says things are just different for different people

[spartan55]

Why can't you dump him? It doesn't sound like you are in a relationship anyway.

[Asker]

I don't know lol

[spartan55]

Good lord is this all you think of yourself? Literally ANY guy would treat you better.

[Asker]

Lol probably yeah but his got other good qualities I guess

[spartan55]

He must be hung like a horse... enjoy.

[Asker]

Lol nothing sexual but yeah thanks for the advice

[spartan55]

Wasted my time

[jaskin777]

Don't hold that against him .

Usually when a person forgets it means they r highly stressed out

Or

And

They have short term memory loss

[Asker]

Thing is I didn't hold it against him until he said he forgot but doesn't actually wanna know

[lilyyy123]

My boyfriend has always forgotten mine.. I never mention it on my birthday because i know he intentionally forgets it

[Asker]

So what happens then? Just not celebrate your birthday?

[Asker]

Doesn't it make you feel bad?

[lilyyy123]

Yea I just don't celebrate my birthday anymore.

[lilyyy123]

And yes it makes me feel horrible especially when my friends always rant over their partners making their day feel special and buying them nice things. It's not really about getting a gift I would be just happy with him getting up in the morning and saying happy birthday to me.

[Asker]

That's miserable I'm so sorry and yes exactly don't even have to remember, just have reminder to wish that day, easy Basic minimum really and it's hard cause everyone says leave him, how do you leave when that's one of the only problems

[Asker]

What about his birthday? What do you do?

[lilyyy123]

I buy him presents , I wish him happy birthday before he goes to work. That's just how I am.

[Asker]

Well yeah same but thanks for the opinion, appreciate it

[lilyyy123]

Maybe it's just a boy thing and it's not as important to them as it is to us

[Asker]

Lol doubt it cause I've never met anyone before my boyfriend that said this and now yours

[noohair]

Some people are good with remembering, some are not. You are expecting him to be good at something that he is not good at. If that is a deal breaker, move on.

[Asker]

No I'm not expecting that not remembering my surname and birthday is okay not wanting to know is sad

[FunkyMonkee]

After 10 years together, my fiance forgot my b-day!!

[Asker]

And you were okay with it?

[FunkyMonkee]

Hell no!! I asked her if she coming over for my b-day party and she said, "When is your b-day?" "You don't know when my fucking birthday is after 10 years together?"

[Asker]

How'd you get over it

[FunkyMonkee]

A while later, I found out she'd been cheating on me for a good while so,. I dropped her like a hot brick! I was REALLY pissed and just didn't wanna talk to her or have anything to do with her anymore.

[Asker]

Oh I'm sorry, so things never went back to normal before the breakup?

[FunkyMonkee]

No, she was already cheating on me before the b-day incident. I just didn't know it `til a while later.

[Asker]

That's so messed up I'm sorry

[FunkyMonkee]

It is! Thanks!

[Asker]

Well ur out of that situation so good

[FunkyMonkee]

I'll say!! I REALLY miss what we had, and I seriously doubt I'll EVER find it again but, I DON'T miss what it became!!

[Asker]

Of course, so it was hard letting go?

[FunkyMonkee]

Not of her, just of what we had and what was supposed to have been. Every so often, I'll see a girl that looks a lot like her and gravitate towards them. It's kinda of like how you build up a great emotional attachment to someone or something and then, one day, it's gone so, any similar surrogate will suffice. I remember seeing something about how a baby squirrel monkey is taken away from its mother and put into a sort of cage and they include a wire mesh figure with a fur outer casing and it just LOOKS somewhat like a mother monkey so, the baby attaches to the mesh and fake fur. I see those girls and get excited to think that, maybe, I'm getting another chance but, of course, there IS NO second chance.
I never had that with my first girlfriend but, I did with my second, even though we weren't even together for more than 2 months, as opposed to me being with girlfriend 1 for 4 months. But, I think that's because I was already best friends with #2 for a few years before we got together. girlfriend 1 & I only met about 3 weeks before we got together. I sure didn't like losing her but, I guess it wasn't as hard on me because we only knew each other about 4 months before it happened. Also, she & I remained fairly close friends for decades after that whereas girlfriend 2 decided to go back to her old boyfriend a 2 months later and he didn't want me around her anymore. So, I COMPLETELY lost her for about 9 or 10 years!!

[Asker]

Ouch gosh it all sounds so messed up

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, on one hand, they were great times, on the other, they were pretty goofy.

[Asker]

Lol I can see that

[FunkyMonkee]

we had GREAT music back then, I'd just joined my first band 2 years before, had my first two girlfriend'a (and a third I almost got), my first two sexual forays but also my first two broken hearts and then the band broke up temporarily for a few months. Then, I went to college and met a lot of great people!! The band got back together and we recorded our first album and were gaining some fame.

[Asker]

Lol oh wow that's cool , what happened?

[FunkyMonkee]

Where?
Oh! You mean, with the band? Well, we had a revolving door on band members (I think I've counted 30 or so just from the bands inception in the `70's to when we broke up in `05 (19 years as of tomorrow) but we were working on our third album when we broke up. I wish we could've recorded that one!! It was gonna be a good one!! The first one was kinda slapped together, a home-made deal but, we sold out of them fairly quickly. The 2nd was a lot more professional but still a tad rough around the edges. The third was gonna have some great new songs on it. We only got 5 songs done but never got the chance to do the one song that would've been a huge hit!! We only ever played it once and that was live, on stage. I think we got a standing O!! I KNOW they loved it!! The rest of the band rehearsed it a few times in the studio so, they knew what they were gonna do but I only heard a recording of it in the car on the way to the show and wrote my drum parts in my head so, THEY had NO idea what I was gonna do!! And then, I STARTED the song (without letting them know) with a short drum solo. I sure as fuck wish somebody recorded that!! For all I know, the soundman did but none of us knew it! Now, the club is gone and I have no way to find out who the soundman was or if he DID record it. By now, he could be dead! That was Nov./Dec. `04.

[Asker]

Oh wow that's pretty cool, thanks for sharing

[FunkyMonkee]

No problem.

[tfan1]

Maybe he’s not the one for you unfortunately 😞

[Asker]

But how can I be sure just based off on that?

[tfan1]

You said he doesn’t care about his, which shows he doesn’t care about anyone’s probably either?

[Anonymous]

That's... not good. If it's serious... I wouldn't forget that. Hell, I even remember the bdays of people I'm not especially close with, and I've NEVER forgotten the bday of an s/o.

[Asker]

Precisely lol so not cared right?

[Anonymous]

It’s not the worst thing. Just put in his phone or on a calendar so he can remember

[Asker]

He doesn't wanna know lol

[Opinion Owner]

You might be dating a narcissist

[Asker]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

He should at least care about the things that are important to you even if they are not important to him

[Asker]

True

[WhitneySnow]

That would bother me

[Asker]

Yeah same

[LaurenM1997]

That’s really awful 😩

[Asker]

Feels that way lol

[laly520]

very disappointing but they forget anyway

[Asker]

And if he doesn't want to know anyway?

[laly520]

he refuses to know about ur bday date?

[Asker]

I asked why he didn't ask to know then since I just asked him and he said it's not important, still doesn't care to know and still doesn't know

[laly520]

I don't see why u r still dating him tbh

[Asker]

What about surname what if he forgets that and still didn't ask?

[Asker]

Cause it's hard leaving something for a reason like that

[Sameone]

And you do you remember his birthday?

[Asker]

Every detail

[Asker]

He asked me the same question when he didn't know

[Sameone]

Lol 🤣 man's we have same way for thinking
But unfortunately you are just for hook up you are not big thing if was really love you is going to remember your birthday your favorite color faver food...

[Asker]

So not knowing my surname or my birthday and not wanting to know is a hookup?

[Sameone]

If he was really interested about you is going to remember everything about you my dear
So aim going to say is whit you only for fun and sex 😔

[Asker]

Says birthdays and names just aren't important to him, nothing personal

[CozyCoffin]

So, it's a birthday. Whoopty doo.

[Asker]

Cool

[Anonymous]

Some boyfriend you have here.

[Asker]

Yeah

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Unforgivable

[Asker]

You think?

[jahaims]

He is right

[Asker]

Why?