Ex dating much younger girl

Question

my boyfriend and I broke up after 3.5 years together. he had been texting a new girl behind my back. he acted as if he was upset about the break up but a week later he was bragging to his friends that he has a 'hot new girl'

he is going to be 29. I'm not positive on her age because my ex hesitated when I asked him. she's either 22 or 23.. but again, he hesitated so she could even be younger?

my question is - what could a guy his age have in common with someone that young? is it only for booty? what substance is there?

DanAG · Accepted Answer

6-7 years difference is nothing. Seriously, that's nothing. I would just consider that normal.

Since the beginning of time women have preferred older men and men have preferred younger women (generalizing of course). I've known women who would not even consider a man less than 10 older than her. I've known late 20s-early 30s women who would consider a man her age to not be mature or responsible enough. (btw, I don't agree with that, but that's how they felt)

Even though some women actually have a preference for older men, I think most of the time it's probably just a matter that they met, fell in love and there is nothing more to read into it. It has nothing to do with gold digging, nothing to do with a younger woman putting out or anything like that. It's just straight forward attraction and love.

When the age difference is very large there can be some very real practical considerations that need to be addressed. One big one is children. I know a woman who married a man 18 years older. He already had a vasectomy at the time they married, but she thought she didn't want kids. When her biological clock was ticking into her 30s she changed her mind. She still loved him very dearly, but ended up divorcing because he couldn't have kids and didn't want to raise IVF children from a sperm bank. They still loved each other dearly, but they were just at different points in their lives.

So there are very real issues that need to be addressed with large age differences. But 6-7 years difference is not even close being large enough to worry about stuff like that.

journeyman1126 · Accepted Answer

It's not that he's into younger women, just has no defense against them. They're like frolicking puppies, with cute little tails and big puppy dog eyes, and we just want to pick them up and play with them.

I meant, he just wants to pick them up and play with them. I'm impervious to their flirtatious nonsense.

Younger women are a draw, on the serious side, because they release men from the responsibility of their own age group, allowing them to feel younger. It's one more way of going off into his own little world with someone fresh and new to being on their own. And by the time a man is his age, he can afford all the things a young girl needs: car repairs, rent, clothes, jewelry, etc.

Some young women are so in need of assistance they can actually drain an old fart's entire bank account before he realizes it. Thus enabling all the old women to laugh and gawk at him as he orders off the dollar menu for years afterward. Of course, all the old women have forgotten when they were a hot 18-22 year old causing car wrecks when they walk down the street...

Yeah, you're right, actually. It's the sex.

vera123 · Accepted Answer

It all depends. I am only 21, and I've date guys much older than me. The biggest misconception about girls around my age is that we are all crazy party girls and have no "life experience." While this can be true, I don't fit into that stereotype at all. You have to remember that we aren't children, although some still act like them. I have no problem relating to people. I see myself as much more than some "booty."

However, some guys go for younger girls because they like the idea of someone who is gullible and easily impressed with them. Stupid younger girls sometimes think they are "cooler" for dating an older guy, and the guy likes that. Your ex bragging about being with some "hot new girl" a week after you broke up sounds like he is only going for her as a rebound and as a bragging point. He can tell his friends that his young new girl believes anything he says and will do anything he asks simply because he is older.

It all depends on the two people involved.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

What could a guy his age have in common with someone that young?

Probably little if he's at the healthy development phase for his age however that likely doesn't matter to him as in my observations guys pay far more attention to a gal's youth and beauty than what they have in common with her.

Is it only for booty?

Likely he mainly wants her for booty however he wants a relationship with her to be more than booty as guys seem to prize and value having a younger partner so they tend to put more effort in the relationship.

What substance is there?

Probably little substance though he as guys tend to prefer much younger than gals their own age or gals older than themselves.

RebelOfNowhere · Accepted Answer

I'm 20 and In a serious relationship with with a 41 year old man..we fell in love because our compatibility is perfect, and our souls connect on levels much deeper than can be seen by the eye. I can't imagine being with anyone else.

My life is not in any way restricted by this difference..I am still able to find my own path. I'm happier than I've ever been.

Your ex might be dating her for arm candy, but there could also be some real substance. If he's happy and there's no harm being done, there's no reason for concern.

rudy37lee · Accepted Answer

My guy did just the opposite.  He's 28, I'm 27 and the woman he dated before me is almost 24.  She was a little bytch who cheated and lied and cheated and lied, basically broke his heart.  He says now he's happy to be with someone 'on his level' and that losing her was the best thing that ever happened to him.  Unless this young lady is really mature for her age, he'll hit it then quit it pretty quick because he'll decide dealing with her bullshyte isn't worth having a cute young thing on his arm.

Ron601 · Answer

First of all, there are two kinds of men who would date a much younger women. 1. the conceited male. He looks at younger women as trophies, shows up his buddies, controls the younger lady, and lastly (but it is the most important), feeds his EGO.2. The compassionate male. He dates a much younger women because the older women usually have more emotional baggage, are set in their ways, less lively, and less perkiness.I'll take a much younger lady (as long as she is legal)over a much older lady any day (or night).

Littletad · Answer

Most guys date younger girls because younger girls are more willing. Meaning they are easier to mold, and more engaging. They take more risks. Other reasons being some guys feel a younger girl makes them feel young too. And lastly, he probably just wanted a younger girl in the sack. Translation? Your ex is a piece of trash. I think he did you a favor by leaving you. Go and find someone better, and wiser. Regardless of age or whatnot.

stubbsy · Answer

Most guys would always settle for a younger girl, its nothing to do with looks, because women peak as they turn 30, so 30 plus women are stunners, but its more to do with the mental maturity of a younger woman, because a guys mental maturity at 30 would suit a girls at 22,x

journeyman1126 · Answer

I've heard the best age woman for a man is someone half his age, plus seven years. And that was from two women I worked with.

Just google "half your age plus seven" and you'll see it's a common phrase.

So that means I need a girl who's 27 or so...

Maybe someone inquisitive in the 25 to 29 year old bracket, a brunette. Wonder who fits that bill?

That is, only if your mom isn't rich and in need of a computer repairman/graphic designer/massage therapist/bodyguard/landscaper/mechanic/writer. We need to balance the scales of life, here.

Coolbeans777 · Answer

Another things is too your might couldve been too dominant of a woman an less submissive like women should be... An not knowing you're not could have intimated his inner masculinity... Which sometimes tends to kill sometimes if not all the time us men self esteem... An he felt like he couldn't take the lead in the relationship because of it... So there for like the 1st opinion said... We date younger women to make us feel more in control of the relationship... & become the leader... Now as far as financially crashing off the deep in with having a younger woman... Nah! He probably just not ready to take his life or career searching serious as you were at the time... Dating a younger woman give him time to play more... But he's not realizing he wasting time... Honestly I would rather have a woman who is a team player than... Taking the lead 24/7 why? Because I feel like you'll get more accomplished as a team faster vs doing it by oneself...

bengi · Answer

my ex was 35 and he's dating a 19 or 20 year old...i understand where your coming from... it sux but you learn to laugh it off and find someone worthy to be with u...i have often wondered what he's mentally going through to pick up a girl that age...

Dciui · Answer

I'm 21 dating a 26 year old. We have heaps in common, more than I have ever had with anyone my own age, and I have ALWAYS gotten along with people older than myself. Sometimes my maturity surpasses his. You cannot judge saying he just wants young boot because you do not know her. Personally you sound jealous. But on the other hand if she knew he just came out of a relationship, she should know she's a rebound. I think you should forget it and move on, he has.

BrighteyedAsh · Answer

Hmmm at  22...even with experience I was not into older guys. I don't know I'm sorry. He probably wanted a 'yes' girl. Ugh.

smallguy · Answer

That darling is no age difference at all. I often see Aussies in their 50's with some Filipinos bombshells of 20's and they have kids and they are happy well men are happier LOL!

parkway · Answer

She will look up to him like he is "it".

She can tell her friends she has a man, he possibly has a job and place of his own and nice car. There is a lot younger girls love about an older man. While guys her age are bouncing around on top of a girl thinking they are acomplishing something, he can take his time and hit her buttons just right.

Think about it. I had an older woman who taught me many things I think she was 39 and very attractive.

Think about it.

zalew · Answer

22 or 23 years old is not young to be dating a 29 year old.

And even if it was it's not your concern,

sorry but its not illegal or against anyone's will so why do you care?

I am sure she has some common sense and her own friends to watch out for her

so if it's not an issue to anyone else I think it's safe for you to let them get it on and have their fun...

6Paul11 · Answer

Maybe it's his way of moving on. He needs to fool around a bit so he can get over you. Personally, I prefer women that are older.

Dionysos · Answer

My last ex turned 22 while we were in the Bahamas last year.  I turned 40.  We had a few basic things in common.  Both of us had the time to take off to the Bahamas for a few months.  Both of us liked each other.  Both of us thought it was fun to be together.  That was enough for a time.

kheserthorpe · Answer

Is having things in common important?

It seems to me all the hobbies most people have vanish when they settle down and have kids anyway.

Guys look for looks first. Second they look for 'sweet' and appreciative and loving. And that's about it. What kind of substance are you imagining he wants, beyond being together and being happy?

confused415 · Answer

That doesn't seem like a large age gap. They still have a lot of common interests and are within the same generation. Perhaps 10 years is a larger gap, but still not a big deal. I wouldn't look too far into it, especially as an ex. Let him do what he pleases. As an ex, you should move on and put your interests into other things like interests, hobbies, work, school, etc.

martyfellow · Answer

Some guys need to brag to their mates about a younger girl. Usually a guy only 29 doesn't have that syndrome, thoough, that is pretty rare.

You're quite right, though, at those ages, she's effectively a generation younger than him.

CasaNorba · Answer

why do you care? didn't you just said you broke up with him after he was secretly back stabbing you?

seriously! just accept the fact that you two are not together anymore and move on with your life. let him be a loser! his actions will not affect you in anyway, so get over it already

RedSmartie · Answer

Guys mostly date any girl just for their body or sex.  It's just more true when it's a significantly younger girl.

Anonymous · Answer

I am going through exactly the same thing. My 26 year old fiance of 2 years went behind my back and was talking to a 20 year old skeez. She sweet talked him and even left her bf for him. He is not with her. Can't wait to marry her according to him and I asked the same question. What does she give him that I cant? The answer is simple. I was not at fault. He will soon learn this girl wants a couple nights of sex and all his money. After all her mom is chronically ill and she doesn't have a father.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

This isn't "much younger." No offense, but you do seem merely jealous. Do you share a literal birthday with him? Okay, they you guys aren't "the same age" either and I imagine you had things in common too, didn't you? So what's the difference?

As an aside, why is this question posted under the "shopping and gifts" category?

Ex dating much younger girl

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