Girlfriend wears very tight short shorts, revealing clothes, says not for attention. True or False?

[Anonymous]

She is 40 has great figure and says she wears this stuff for me, or reminds me she is with me. Hell sometimes I'm not even there when she wears this stuff that leaves little to the imagination. I'm OK if with her, but feel a little jealous when I'm not with her and she wears all the sexy revealing clothes. It sounds such a load of crap to say it's not for attention or to attract the eyes of guys or to make other girls pissed off. There is definitely a little dishonesty here, she knows she is hot. I would like her to be a little more conservative when not with me. I know it's all a bit controlling etc. But I think a lot of guys feel the same way. Lets put it like this, the more revealing the clothes, the more the very visual male of the species is likely to show up and try his luck. How to put this over to her respectfully, that is the question. Best not say you are dressing like a hooker or something like that. Any sensible suggestions? I do trust her ...but a little ego stroking from guys might be her payoff , what do you think?

[Lilly987]

Maybe she does it for herself mostly? I am 26 and I like wearing sexy clothes because it makes ME feel good. Of course, men will notice, women will notice, but I do it primarily for myself - other people noticing is more of a "by-product". Now, looking that hot at the age of 40, I'm sure it gives her a way bigger ego-boost than it does to us younger girls. Maybe she wants to wear sexy stuff as long as she can, so she can enjoy her youthful looks while she still looks this way.

She may even be self-conscious about her age, she may be trying to look younger or whatever. I'm not saying this is the case, since I know nothing about her, but either way, whether it's because she's self-conscious or because she's self-confident, it might be more about her than it is about other people. So if you question her motives, you should take this into consideration: she may be doing it for herself, rather than for other people. If she wears sexy clothes even when she's home alone, or if she likes wearing sexy underwear, chances are even higher that she does it for herself.

However, if it bothers you, I think you should tell her... And how do you put it respectfully? Well, the same way you wrote it here: the more revealing the clothes, the more likely it is for other guys to try their luck. There's nothing disrespectful about it. Calmly explain why it may bother you, don't start an argument and be open to hear her out.

But if you're curious about her motives to dress that way, keep in mind what I wrote above - chances are that she's doing it to feel good about herself, not to attract the attention of other men.

[bruvleigh]

and WHY does it make you feel good? because other people think you look nice.

[Lilly987]

Bottom line may be - yes, it feels good to know that other people think I look nice... So what? I am not going out with the mindset "I'll put this on and some guy will hit on me and hopefully we can hook up" - if that is the mindset of the asker's girlfriend, it is a problem. I put something on because I like it and I like how it makes me look and feel. Other people liking it is more like... a bonus. Yeah, I like it when someone thinks I'm pretty. Maybe that makes me shallow...or maybe human?

[NathanSG15]

... so your doing it for attention then

[MissUshar]

Well it is. Relationship so you have to meet each other halfway. Yes she can wear whatever but it is making you feel uncomfortable. Tell her that you don't like that she has to dress like that to remind him who his girlfriend is since you already know. She could be doing it for attention. Maybe yours or other men's. just tell her you doing feel at ease with her dressed like that. Don't tell her what to wear though since if I was her and someone told me to wear something else I would look them up and down.

[abundantlyrich]

false.

look if she's wearing a tee shirt that really visibly shows her cleavage... or wearing shorts that show her bum cheeks.. hmm... something's going on here.

She just enjoys the attention of men oggling at her. Gives her a power trip.

[shortshorts4ever]

She should be able to express herself like she wants too and wear whatever she wants.

[NathanSG15]

Yes and any woman who tells you no is a walking red flag. Lol

[tzdc21]

You said you prefer her be more conservative when she's not with you. That's not controlling that's simply having a standard. And if you say that to her and she still continues to do it, knowing that it bugs you, then you need to get away from her.

[hollydorr]

I'd say false. At the root of every "I'm doing it for myself/to make me feel confident" is an "I want people to look and compliment me on my figure".

[G_GTom]

False. Women are attention whores. This woman needs validation from other men and maybe more.

[Anonymous]

well she can wear what she wants but she might do it for insecurity or just to feel younger.

[Anonymous]

true, she could wear what ever she wants