How do I stop suffocating my boyfriend?

My boyfriend has recently told me that he feels suffocated by me. We are both 18 and have been going out for 11 months. At the beginning of the relationship we were both as suffocating as each other. Now he has changed and I am the only suffocating one. I love him more than anything in the world and the last thing I want to do is suffocate him. I need to know how to stop, in my eyes I'm not that suffocating, he can see his friends whenever he wants but I do constantly text him and get annoyed if he doesn't text back. Please help, he is the love of my life (he agrees and HE says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and marry me) We are going on holiday together at the end of the month and I really want to be the best girlfriend I can be. Please help. Thanks xxx


Most Helpful Girl

  • Cut down on the communication and time that you spend together. This will help a lot. It sounds like he feels that you are giving him no space and time to him self.

    Try calling or messaging him once every other day max and do not have any more communication than that. Just because you are not talking and seeing each other all the time it does not mean that he is not thinking about you.

    When it comes to time together. Once or twice a week is plenty, you do not need to spend any more time together and it is important that you have time apart to do your own things.

    Have you considered getting a part time job? This will give you money to do things, give you something to do in your spare time and is also a way of making new friends. Also maybe get some hobbies. I.e join a running club or something like that - Again a way of meeting new people and giving you something to do.

    Guys like girls who can be independant and think and do things for themsleves. When girls get clingy they find it a turn off and it can make them end things.

    By getting a job, getting hobbies, making new friends and cutting back on the communcation and time you spend with him you will come across as independant and strong and he will find this very appealing and a big turn on and will make him appreciate you more.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Try talking twice as long to respond to him, see him etc.


What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds like you need some other interests besides him. If you're away from him, having fun without him, then he has some space to miss you. And when you do get together, you have more to share.

    So pick something that you love, or something you've always wanted to learn, and go do it. Buy supplies, take lessons, join something. Have fun! You and your relationship will be better for it.

    • I agree but I don't know what, I have no spare money and my friend has recently really betrayed me so my boyfriends all I've got.

    • You really need to step back a little. Your man cannot be your everything, because it's draining for him. And it's not good for you either.

      If you had a whole day where you could not contact him in any way, what would you do? Assume you can't screw around online or watch TV or otherwise p*ss your time away.

      What things were you involved in before you met your boyfriend? Answering those questions should help you find something YOU would enjoy doing.

  • Take your hands off him, figureatively speaking.