Do you really? Truly?

Anonymous

Do you really? Truly?


You always say that you understand it, that you know exactly how to fix everything, but you don't. You really don't.


When you told me it was just a phase, and that I was just being hormonal, what did you expect me to do? Was I meant to drop the 'act' and turn back into normal? This isn't normal.


Instead of letting you feel good about 'helping' me, I retaliated in the worst way. I vowed to never let you see the good side of me, because you, not I, could not accept me any other way. This isn't angst, this isn't a joke, I'm not pretending. I'm older now, wearing the prettiest and handsomest of clothes, and still you tell me to grow up. I shouldn't want to keep to myself for fear that someone I meet could be like you. I shouldn't want to cry for every one of my mistakes.


I do, though. I cry for your mistakes, too. I wish you had never made the mistake of meeting me, because now you're just tied down with my troubles and I can tell that you hate it. I'm sorry for that, by the way.


I don't even have the courage to say my name, because... what if my friends find out? If they knew I had told them what to do, still with no idea how to handle my own problems, they would leave me.


But thank you, anyway, for telling me that I was clever, beautiful, and had so much to live for when I tried to talk to you. Now I am arrogant. Or freaking out because now I have to live up to your high expectations of me. Feeling lost and ashamed because I am not the person you described. Not knowing whether you were sincere, or if it was a shallow, empty compliment. Wanting to hide everything I've ever done wrong, because you would be so disappointed in me.


Which would you prefer?


If you think someone you know is going through this, please find help. Talk to them, talk to someone. Don't tell them what to do. Just listen to what they have to say. Listen to ALL of what they have to say. Don't excuse yourself. Don't try to pin a reason on them.


Do, however, try to be a good friend to them. They might just need it.

Do you really? Truly?
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