What Its Like To Be Shy, Introverted And Socially Anxious

The power trio has struck again. Or as I like to call them, the Funtimes Trio. Nah, just kidding.

Before I start, I'd like to quickly define each of these 3 so you don't get confused.

Introvert- "People who are introverted tend to be inward turning, or focused more on internal thoughts, feelings and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation."

Shyness- "being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people."

Social Anxiety- "A chronic mental health condition in which social interactions cause irrational anxiety."

Alright, now that I have gotten things cleared up, let's talk about my struggles, because thats fun (☞ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)☞

1. It's extremely hard to talk to people

Wow, thats not surprising. But seriously though, it is. Imagine that scenario where you're at Subway and you're rehearsing what you're about to order. Then the person asks you what you want, but you're so nervous that you fumble your words and say "I'd eat a sub ball meat with lettuce on the.. Uh... Thing. "

Thats basically me on a regular basis.

2. My brain is in nonstop Party Mode

Lol, sleep, whats that? My brain doesn't rest, even my dreams have some crazy crap going on. Since I'm a super quiet person, I keep all my thoughts in my head. Majority is just weird crap, but I'm also worrying about how I appear to people, if said something right and even monitoring my movements. And I have piles PF rough drafts of hypothetical conversations and yes, I have drafts of good comebacks that I never used when the time was right. *sigh*

3. I have an extra dislike for group projects

group projects are hard enough, but imagine having the Funtimes Trio residing in your brain HQ. I usually get 3 types of groups; The other quiet kids that never talk to you;The obnoxious and loud kids that exclude you and talk crap about how you're not contributing vocally; Or you get to be with your friends. Guess which one I get majority of the time. 😆

4. The Pity Conversationists

These people mean well, I guess, but they get on my nerves. You're alone in the corner at a social event. They walk over to you with a superficial smile and try to break the ice with you. Ok, fine. But they have this odd vibe about them. They raise their voice like they're talking to a child and they never. Stop. Smiling. "This poor thing is all alone! I'll talk to them! "

5. Encountering people that don't understand

"Why don't you just try to talk more?"

The fuck did you just say
The fuck did you just say

WOW, Its as if people just don't get it. You think I would be making this take if talking to people for me is easy? I get shaky ans sweaty when approaching people. And to make things worse, my brain fumbles up my words, so I end up being embarrassed and distancing myself even more.

6. People romanticize having social anxiety/shyness

Seriously, stop. there's nothing cute about it. Not all quiet girls look like they stepped out of Pinterest with their fake hipster glasses, oversized sweater and pile of book the read in Starbucks.

What Its Like To Be Shy, Introverted And Socially Anxious

That's it for now. Maybe I'll do a part 2.¯\_(ツ)_/¯


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What Guys Said 28

  • >Not all quiet girls look like they stepped out of Pinterest with their fake hipster glasses, oversized sweater and pile of book the read in Starbucks.

    👌👌👌 yup that's exactly what I've been telling my friends lol
    And I really hate the pretenders too

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  • Every word described me perfectly. I hate those friends that are made out of pity who constantly patronize and talk to you like you are a child. I cannot relate on the group projects though, it is more of a socializing group for me. I can say something multiple times and eventually stop because no one was listening, they talk about shit I don't care about, or I just don't have anything to say that pertains to the conversation like when a couple talks about when they went out of state for vacation and the most exciting thing that has happened to me is that I saw a quarter on the ground... that it. It's even worse when you quietly step away from the group and they never notice you left and never messaged you and asked where you went. I have had friends and family say stuff like talking more and it sucks that I cannot tell them that its not that simple. I have never heard of the social anxiety envy, I think everyone knows its a social death sentence even though it wasn't alive to begin with.

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  • I feel where you come from, I have the same, depression anxiety. The only difference is that my head is too full of rubbish so I can not express the things I have in my head. Not against my family or loved one and that gives me the feeling that I am locked in my own thoughts... That's why I think it's great that there are people who can express themselves! Sounds weird but thank you for expressing and I get the feeling that I am not the only one with these problems thnx!

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  • I can relate. I am not socially anxious but I do find trying to socialize with people as a big waste of my time. When you obviously have little in common with most people you meet what is the point in trying to get to know them?

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  • Yup been dealing with social anxiety my entire life I am slowly getting better to the point where I actually have a social life and a girlfriend, I used exposer therapy, where you slowly expose yourself to more and more situations out of your comfort zone until your more comfortable in those situations

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  • 4 I s more in your head. Being all over the place is fine what's irritating is the 'you don't have to talk to me if you don't want' I'm here I'm talking to you. It's quite insulting and a little self centered to someone to be told that they're being shallow. I'm talking to you because I choose to I don't feel some needs to save you and I feel no responsibility for doing it anyway.

    Especially as someone who's an outgoing, socially awkward introvert.

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  • I have adhd, anxiety, depression, and some times I shake like I had 20grams of sugar. I am also very very bad at talking to girls that I am attracted, too. So yeah I know exactly how you feel.

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  • Good Take, and those three are a lethal cocktail for one's self-confidence.

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  • I know that feeling too well. If I can describe it with 1 word: nightmare

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  • Good take. However I don't really get you whether you want to change anything. Looks like you accept all you mentioned, right?

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  • I'm an extrovert so i don't understand but I will try to feel you

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  • I'm the same way, but I still think being shy is attractive

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  • I am all of those things until I get to know people then I am normal with them.

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  • I'm just an introvert but just a little shy and anxious. I use to be an extrovert but extremely shy and anxious. Now I just realized that I've just been trying to be funny, social, mean and not being someone I am just to be more accepted but I found out that I'm actually a sensitive guy who worries about what people say. I put and end to it when I left school and I decided to be alone. Thinking about it just makes me cringe sometimes but I shall continue looking forward for the future not the past. Just love yourself regardless. It's ok to be kinda selfish for you to be happy. You don't have to change for anyone to be more accepted but be prepared for hates. It's their loss. I think you're a good person tho and that's one thing that matters a lot.

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    • by the way being an introvert is different from being shy. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert.

  • Horrible.

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  • Good my take

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  • See me wank off

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  • I like that - Well done very good insights

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  • pimp and whore

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  • I know this all too well

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What Girls Said 12

  • Spot on. Well done!

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  • Oh gosh I understand this so much! People are like "don't be shy, just go do it" and to myself I'm like "i'm not just shy! I am literally terrified right now don't tell me to go talk to that stranger!" but of course that never leaves my mouth because I couldn't risk saying something like that and having people judge me for it

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  • "Why don't you just try to talk more?" is what you'll hear over and over. Don't get pressured. Do it at your own discretion.

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  • Myself have been unable to get close relationship with anyone I'm way to reserve I don't show myself to let others to know me

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  • I’m the same way and supposedly my personality is not like Hispanics I’m different it sucks

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  • No need to tell me, I already know 😂🙈

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  • Relatable af. Especially group projects point

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  • Good take

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  • Good mytake, I thought it was quite informative.

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  • Nice take

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  • I get really nervous and sweaty if I have to talk to a stranger or someone I dont know very well. I'm suddenly thinking about where my eyes are looking, what my mouth is doing, what my hands are doing. Then I go over the conversation in my head afterwards I hate it.

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  • Good point

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