2020 has been a very busy year for me with many ups and downs.
At the end of 2019 I got in an argument with my best friend, with whom I was very deeply in love at the time. I lost not only a great friendship but also the only guy that had ever loved me back at the time.
This is why I initially created an account on G@G – I wanted to have SOME outlet to talk about what was happening around me.
I took my finals at the beginning of 2020. After that, I got into more and more non-physical fights at school – I wasn’t in a good place. My skin was horrible, I was miserable and unhappy all the time and didn’t eat right. Breaking up with my best friend had more implications than I had anticipated.
Then, SARS-CoV-2 hit Europe and everything – life as I (we all) knew it – was shut down. I was extremely productive for 2 weeks or so because I had exams coming up, but when they were cancelled, my entire purpose was gone.
I had nothing to do. I lingered around the house, tried to exercise, mostly did nothing or just watched Netflix. I hated my life more and more every day.
This was when I got into a huge fight with my parents. That fight led to them kicking me out, which meant I had to find accommodation FAST.
I took care of everything – I applied to one University, went to Germany to look for apartments, decided on one, was accepted to said University (good grades) and felt a lot calmer once this was handled.
I had many loose ends in my home town I had to take care of. I went to my graduation ceremony, managed to go on holiday with my parents, worked as an intern during the summer and then moved away from home.
I didn’t know what to make of it during the first couple of weeks. All I did was clean and try not to throw up because it was so dirty. I had always assumed I would become friends with my flat mate, but so far, this hasn’t happened and I don’t think it will. I’m not happy with her being around and will try to move into an apartment for only myself as soon as the pandemic calms down a little.
I finally met my now-boyfriend in person. I was really busy with going on dates with him and handling university, I still texted my family regularly and was almost over the guy who had hurt me so deeply at the beginning of the year.
University sucked and continues to sucks. I enjoy attending classes, but due to government policies I can’t go to a restaurant with my boyfriend, I can’t just visit my family whenever I want to because travelling is so complicated and I can’t escape from the beautiful prison I’ve built myself (my room). I really crave some form of distraction.
A close family member killed themselves recently. I don’t get it and not being able to attend the funeral is horrible for me because that way, I can‘t even express my support to those that would need me right now in person.
I’m tired of the situation and mostly stay inside so that I can pretend Covid-19 isn’t a part of our day to day now as this deeply frustrates me.
2020 was the year I needed. It allowed me to take a break from my everyday life when I needed it the most.
I dealt with some of the most intense emotions I’ve ever dealt with in my life and I’ll forever be grateful for making it to 2021.
How was your year?
Did you enjoy 2020? Did anything interesting happen to you?