There is nothing wrong with being who you are comfortable being!

There is nothing wrong with being who you are comfortable being!

So, I am always at my favorite bar, and it happens to be a gay bar. I'm friends with most of the bartenders, the manager, the DJs and many patrons.

Last night/this morning I was seriously offended when another patron actually asked the bartender to make me move. But it wasn't that he asked that, it was why and how.

He did not ask me directly, first of all. And second, he called me an it. I came in, as I usually do, said hi to Herbie, the bartender on duty, and went to the fireplace and my usual stool, right near the DJ booth. I took out my phone and started browsing Facebook.

The guy had the temerity to ask Herbie to make "it" move to a different seat, and poor Herbie just didn't know what to say. Herbie, mind you, is transgender, and wants to do hormone therapy. He feels more in tune with his feminine, and makes a gorgeous woman. So this approach was offensive to both of us.

When my friend Auryn came over, and we started talking, the rude guy says "oh, you really are a woman. I'm sorry."

First things first, what the hell does it matter if I have a penis or a vagina? Second, so what if some people feel more comfortable being someone else, and third, if you have something to say, then say it. Don't dance circles.

It just pisses me off that a guy -a gay guy- is so intolerant towards someone perceived different without even knowing the real facts. I'm all woman, born that way. Other people like Herbie are born male but don't want it that way, so they do something about it. That he assumed I was something icky pisses me off. Just because I wear braids, loose clothing, and don't say hi before sitting down in a public bar, doesn't automatically mean I'm something to be dismissed from your worldview. And the fact that he asked the very person doing what he assumed I was doing is the worst...the transgender bartender is not going to move an everyday patron because you have a problem with a supposedly (but not really) transgender person minding her business.

Its amazing how sometimes the very people being shunned for their life choice shun others for that same life choice. Hypocrite, much?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I have yet to figure out why we can't live and let live.

    There are way too many people more concerned about what others are doing and less concerned about their own lives.

    People need to accept all of us for who we are. As long as we are not violating their rights/personal space, it should not matter who we love, what we wear, our religion, our politics or our sexual preferences.

    As Christ once said to an enraged crowd: "let the first among you without sin cast the first stone"

    Words that I do my very best to live by.

    I am happy with who I am and will not impose my thoughts or beliefs on anyone else. I wish we could all learn to be far more accepting of each other and of ourselves.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I didn't suffer from this type of thing but from other thing anyway why didn't you give him a punch to his face or to his.. you know :P


Join the discussion

What Guys Said 2

  • I hear you.

    I don't often suffer from that kind of discrimination but, I catch he'll for everything from tattoos to piercings, to the fact that I look like a skin head.

    It's a rough world out there. Be the change you wish to see, right?

  • Thank you very much for posting this.


What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!