Life is difficult, as this guy can attest to"
Whenever anything is difficult, humans attempt to find solutions. That's all well and good, but how often have you heard these, how often have you tried them, and how often have they failed you?
For increased confidence:
- Imagine people in their underwear (what... how?!
- Fake it until you make it (If I'm not confident, how am I supposed to pretend I am... which would require confidence?)
To calm yourself
- Three deep breaths (really now. Yeah, that's going to work)
- Meditation (I'd rather not)
- Exercise (NO!)
To relieve stress
- Make a plan (After I'm done with that, do you mind standing still so I can THROW THE PLANNER AT YOUR FACE FOR YOUR S***y SUGGESTION
- Put first things first (First thing: punch you)
-J ust relax (because it really is that simple. NOT)
If you do something embarassing
- No one will even remember it (they must have an awful memory, because it JUST HAPPENED YESTERDAY. No one is going to forget it)
- You've just got to wait it out (-___-)
And everyone's favorite all purpose solution/Nike's famous slogan
Just do it (What, you mean slap you?)
To make a long post short, none of those have ever worked for me. As such, I doubt they work for everyone (do they work for anyone?)
Here's what does work for me (maybe it will work for you)... it's a bit confusing and it's going to require some thinking, and using your imagination.
Yes, you are taking advice from a sponge. Deal with it
First, picture an animal of some sort. Mythical, real, doesn't really matter. It can be your pet it can be a dragon. It just has to function like an animal.
Now, realize that humans are, in fact, animals. We eat, poop, sleep, and socialize in groups. Whether or not we admit it, we are animals.
Now, think about what an animal's responsibilities are, what the ultimate purpose of an animal is.
Whatever you come up with- those are what your purposes for being here are. Keep those in mind.
Now, think about what happens when something happens to an animal. Whether the animal gets injured, sick, or loses one of its family... What does it do. It continues on.
So that is what an animal does, and we are, in fact, animals. So what should we do?
We should do what animals do, as they were here before us and will be here long after us (most likely).
Now, and this is very important, picture whatever animal you chose in a pack of millions of animals. Just one being in a group of many. That is you. Only those closest around you will be affected by what you do. The rest will not even realize you did that. So out of the entire population, most won't even care. Therefore, why worry about whatever it is you are doing.
Now, consider why animals do what they do. They do what they do because they must/they just do. It is their responsibility and duty.
Same thing with humans.
If you were a good sport and actually tried it, you might find you feel surprisingly relaxed and calm, not too concerned (after all you are just one of millions of animals on this planet).
Now, let's look at a real situation with using this technique.
You ask someone out and they turn you down.
"What is the ultimate purpose of relationships?"
Well, ultimately it is to have kids and continue the human race.
So how do you progress toward that ultimate purpose for your existence.
You start looking for new mates.
Animals have been here long before us. What they do works for them, so why shouldn't it work for us?
Being a human is overwhelming. Being an animal greatly simplifies things. You are an animal because you are human.
If you lack confidence
In nature, there are smaller animals and larger ones. More muscular and less muscular. Ugly and pretty. They don't care, they don't worry. They understand their purpose and their actions move towards fulfilling that purpose. Therefore, despite my shortcomings, that is what I should do. Because, I am an animal just like them.
If you are nervous about something, try thinking about it from an animal POV
I am doing this to further one of my ultimate life goals/reasons for existence. If this fails, I will continue progressing towards my ultimate life goals/reasons for existence. As an animal, that is just what I do. If it fails with this group, I will try again with this group and if it fails again I will move onto a different group of the millions of animals alive.
To calm yourself, try thinking about it from an animal POV
You don't worry, you just move on. Just as an animal does. When something makes an animal nervous, they have a reaction and then do said thing. Same thing with you. You can have your reaction, but then you move on. because you are an animal and that's what animals do. You stay focused despite nerves. Nerves are just a biological part of being an animal. They should not alter your life.
To relieve stress, try thinking about it from an animal POV
I am an animal and I am on this earth for a reason. That reason will be fulfilled because I'm an animal and that is what animals do. I should just relax and keep doing what I need to do, just like an animal would.
If you do something embarassing
Moving on, because that's what animals do, and I'm an animal
Because I'm a f****** animal, and that's what animals do.
This is a cat: It's not worried about it's appearance, it's size, what other people think of it, how smart it is, how funny it is- any of that. It knows its purpose and what it needs to do. It needs to ensure cats are still around in the future. It knows what it likes; it likes being scratched. Why it likes it? It doesn't care. It's a freaking cat. It knows what it's like and knows what it's here to do. Doesn't even know what animal it is. It doesn't matter to the cat, the cat doesn't mind. What matters is it's an animal, and as such it has certain responsibilties it is to fulfill. It needs to eat and sleep and hydrate and all of that. Humans are animals just like that cat. So why are us humans worried about all this stuff? Cat does fine and it doesn't even know/care. It's just going to keep living its life, as it's been doing, because that is what cats do.
If this doesn't work, I do have one other technique. Even if it does, these techniques (the previous one and the one I'm going to show you) paired together can be quite effective.
Think of the worst case scenario of a situation. How would you not let this permanently affect you? How would it not be the end?
If you are ready for that, you'll be prepared to take steps you never thought possible before.
Hope this helps. It's helped me, so I thought maybe it could help you :D