Help - this girl is driving me nuts.

[LelouchLamperoug]

this is a follow up to this question I asked so you get the background story

link

its very interesting I think the way this ends

Anyways since then I have been talking to her on and off, almost everyday, and I'm thinking to myself wow this girl is amazing. I sort of jinxed myself. Halloween day she is in my town and lets me know that, I tell her lets hangout, and I get no reply till about 8, when she then tells me she is basically 15 minutes from me, and she gets the address on where we need to meet, then 5 minutes later she texts me and says she is going to LA. I was like wow. So at this point I'm p*ssed off don't ever want to talk to her I mean that is some bullsh*t game play I don't need in my life, so the next day I don't answer her calls or texts, she called me 6 times and two texts, one was asking me out this past sat! wow, so ignoring girls works, OK so the nice guy I am I forgive her and I start talking to her again, and we make plans to hangout Thursday, OK so we hangout Thursday and we go to the club, I had a good time with her, but she kept flirting and these short weird guys kept grabbing her ass which she then reveals to me are her friends, huh? OK so after the club we go to another club then after that we have a moment in the car we make out. OK! the next day I get texts and she asks me who was that girl you were talking to at the club, the nice guy I am tells her my friend, which she really is, she said she thought it was my ex, cause I told her its a girl that I know and for the record its not my ex. also to add while we were making out which last very little time, I put my had on her hip and she stops and says that's enough then says you have your hand on my hip. wow

so sat comes along I'm annoyed because all my guy friends are telling me f*** her she is weird what girl says that, anyways, sat comes along she texts me and tells me to meet her at the mall, OK, I meet her she tells me I look good and gives me a hug, I try to put my arm around her while we walk she resists and keeps texting, I try to hold her hand she resists again, at lunch she kept looking away an texting OK, I told her have some dignity with these weird guys touching you, she said they get over protective of her and she told them I'm her friend, I told her I'm not your friend we aren't friends. k so after we kept talking and we go to her car, I don't want to give her a hug so she asks for one, at this point I'm checked out I won't text her anymore or call, she texts me asking me where I'm going and all this stuff how I'm doing, OK so I go to la with my friends, and my friends say just ignore her you don't need a headache, but I like her you know, so the next day I'm annoyed because she was so cold to me, I text her one and she texts back, meanwhile on Facebook I'm commenting other girls on their pics. we don't talk Monday and Tuesday night I sent her a message saying don't think I'm like

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other guys, I care about you I don't just want that one thing all guys want, I saying this because this is the vibe I got from you sat, she replies boys are boys will be boys no matter what! I called her twice since then no replies! what do I do now?

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I wrote that because she was being cold towards me, now my friends say do I just ignore her will she texts me, or is this a done deal, what's the point of being a nice guy, if girls think its to good to be true!? nice guy transforming into an asshole soon

[QueenKatie]

Well, let's state the obvious. Her behaviour is rude, unreliable, immature and, at times, downright odd.

However, before we judge her too harshly, let's think about another possibility. Could it be that this girl is trying to play hard to get, but doing it really, really badly? A couple of things suggest to me that this might be the case - the way she makes a date and suddenly cancels, for a start, and the way she deliberately seems to want to show you that she's surrounded by male attention (texting in your company, having her friends touch her in an inappropriate way). It's possible that she genuinely feels that this is a way of keeping your interest.

Obviously, you need to disillusion her about this. I would suggest that the best thing to do is to have a serious conversation with her. Start by complimenting her. Tell her how you like her fun spirit, and how much you enjoy being around her. Let her know that you're interested in dating her properly, and that this means that you want to get to know her as a person, not just have sex with her. Be open, and romantic. Hopefully you'll then have her attention!

You can them move in to explaining that you don't like playing games, and that you feel that her behaviour has been somewhat rude and inconsiderate towards you in the past. Try to be emotionally open if you can - I know it's difficult for guys, but if you can tell her that she hurt your feelings,and make her see how much her behaviour is causing you to doubt her, you're more likely to make an impact. Make it clear that you think she's wonderful, but that you're asking questions because you don't want to date someone who cancels at the last minute for no reason, or who allows her friends to touch her inappropriately. Try to keep the focus on your feelings and emotions, and try to avoid statements that sound like you might be criticizing her (e.g. 'I was hurt by the fact that you cancelled, it seemed so cold and callous' rather than 'You are a rude bitch, and I won't stand for that behaviour!'). This will hopefully prevent you guys having a huge argument before you've even dated.

Finally try to lay out your expectations for the next date, so she knows what you expect of her. Maybe start with telling her where you'd like to go - come up with something special, thoughtful and romantic (doesn't have to be expensive, but if you can tie it in with her interests, that would be great. For instance, if she loves big cats, you could take her to the zoo). Then lay out what you would like (these are 'ground rules', though you're not presenting them to her as such): no cancelling at the last minute, unless it's a life-or-death situation! Be on time for each other. No texting or phoning in each other's company. Be clear that you won't take her out again if these are broken, and be firm about that - if she feels she can get away with it, she might try, whereas if she knows she can't, you might get a decent date. Good luck!

[LelouchLamperoug]

Thank tou for your time and input means a lot to me I agree with you 100% she texted me that night after I wrote that, I'm honestly turned off... I'm interested to see if she will try to get my attention again or he just wants to be friends who knows, one thing is for certain I'm going out tonight and maybe meet new girls but this one I will have to play the game with! Maybe she wanted to prove to herself she could have me I don't know maybe she is insecure idk

[Dollface-86]

To be completely honest with you this chick is a lost cause. If I like a guy then I want him to touch my hips when he kisses me, I want him to hold my hand at the mall or put his arm over me. I want his attention and affection. And I certainly wouldn't be texting constantly while I'm out with the guy. And I wouldn't ask him out and then blow him off at the last minute for LA. This girl seems to not have much ettiquate or mannors and doesn't seem to be very deserving of you. In this case you should listen to your friends and just let her go. You don't need the heachache or aggrivation. Its like she wants you at her beck and call. She wants you there when sh ewants you and then she blows you off when she feels like it. You need a chill girl that is fun with very minimal drama.

[LelouchLamperoug]

Thanks for tellin me this I thought I was being maybe to forward, and your right thanks for you input ! :)

[mormongirlmichl]

Don't give up on being nice because of a horrible girl! Seriously... she's not all right in the head... haha but honestly, forget about her and find yourself a nice girl... :)

[LelouchLamperoug]

Thanks maybe one day hopefully.

[mormongirlmichl]

Don't worry about it, you will! :)