How to overcome a trauma caused by a girl as a guy?

[Anonymous]

[Curmudgeon]

1. Get away from this girl and anyone who remembers anything about this event, unless you can somehow "mend fences". Based upon the way you wrote this, I am assuming you cannot. If you live in a large enough city or suburban area, you can just change the places you go a bit and probably never see her or anyone else who knew about this bad event again.

2. Build up your economic value and maintain / improve your physical shape. Don't compete against others--that will just bring you down and make you miserable--just compete against *yourself*. I hope that makes sense.

Believe it or not, by the time you are 30, if you:
--are unmarried without kids,
--with a stable and reasonably well paying job,
--in reasonably decent physical shape,
--with no criminal record, and
--you own a home of your own, even a modest one,

You WILL be desirable, as the women start realizing their partying days are over and they need a real guy as spouse material.

3. Try an older "Cougar" divorcee, who wants to "get her groove back". She might just be the one to break you in. Your initial lack of game in such a situation will be non-threatening, and therefore downright appealing, to an older divorcee. And by interactions of this nature, you will get "game". No, the relationship probably will not last, but it will be mutually beneficial at first. And then, by the time you are the age of the Cougars yourself, you may even be trawling for younger babes! Or you may have already found someone and settled in.

4. Try putting out a personals ad online. You can meet people from the privacy of your home, then call them up, then meet. If it does not work out, no bad repercussions, unlike school or work. Avoid public situations where asking them out leads to humiliation and failure. Avoid noisy dance clubs where you can't actually talk to them. Like me, I am betting you cannot dance without looking foolish, and slam dancing in the mosh pits does not count (am I revealing my age here? So be it).

5. As above, Pour yourself into school / work. Make more money and/or build up skills to make more money. Or if you find an academic interest that excites you, go for it. This is always good.

6. Exercise. You are already doing this, but you say you have no results? Even if utterly non-sporting, it is good just to hike, bike, or lift weights. Don't compete against anyone--that will make you feel worse--just compete against yourself.

7. Look into antidepressant and antianxiety meds. They can really help in some cases.

8. Done enough of the above? Then develop an interest that takes you someplace you haven't been. Ever skied down a mountain? Scuba dived under the water? Took up motorcycle riding? Backpacked or camped out in pretty places? It doesn't have to be anything special or even costly, just anything to change things up. And you might even meet someone in the course of that.

[dolidol]

I guess you are single. Use other people to get game is really disgusting, and a real relationship do not have games. God luck for you.

[dolidol]

Good*

[Curmudgeon]

@dolidol I use the term colloquially. The point is, the guy has been badly hurt (emotional and psychic) by a woman in the past, and he has to move beyond that.

[dolidol]

Everybody have been hurt before, sometimes more then once, that doesn't justify hurt others to feel fine. He as to overcome that without hurt others. Best way is self love first only then he should date someone.

[Curmudgeon]

@dolidol I thought that was what I was getting at. He should focus upon improving himself and forget about this terrible past relationship.

By the way, the definition of "game" (in colloquial slang) is how a man approaches a women for romantic interest. No one needs to be hurt in this.

[dolidol]

He shouldn't date someone to overcome a trauma that will cause pain to both. He need to heal first.

[ibodi]

Do you mean you have female's image that female should be
but actually thay are not like their voice are rough
you are broken after they open mouth?