Why does a person begin to see everything as a obligation?

Question

Eating, drinking water, going to the toilet, watching movies, going out and having fun, reading a book, making money, getting married, living, breathing, sitting idly and watching the wall, being silent and talking, sleeping and waking... It all seems obligation to me. Why could that be? Do you think my psyche is normal? (I will go to the psychologist in a week. I made an appointment.)

serious · Accepted Answer

Before I reply in parts, I am sure you know there is a difference between NEEDS and WANTS, both are not the same. Some of what you have mentioned are NEEDS, some are WANTS and some both.

I will reply in parts to your question.

1. "Eating, drinking water, going to the toilet, "

Well whether we as humans like it or not these things are indeed an obligation, breathing air (oxygen), drinking water/fluids and eating food are NECESSITIES, they are absolutes and we cannot live without these things. Yes one may eat less, very less, drink less water etc etc but they still need to do it because these are the needs of a human body for it to function at it normal capacity.

Since these are NEEDS of a human body and so if one completely stops doing these then eventually it will result in total shutdown of brain, organ failure etc.

2. "making money"

Making money can be qualified as both NEED and WANT but practically speaking it is more of a need rather than a want because the fact everyone needs money because money can get you food, clothing and shelter. I am sure you know that.

Yes one may give more importance to making money whereas one may give less importance to it but nevertheless we all need money in order to lead decent lives. Normal life, if not rich and lavish.

3. "watching movies, going out and having fun, reading a book, being silent and talking"

Now these things are all WANTS. It means it depends on the person if they want to do these things, if they want these things in life then they can go for it. If they get it they will be happy and if not they will still be happy. It means having or doing these things will not affect or have any sort of impact in a person's life. A person life on the whole will not be affected by either doing these things or by not doing it at all.

Watching movies. Well, not everyone wants to watch movies all the time so that is not an obligation. Going out and having fun, this depends on the nature of a person and is their choice if they want to do this or not. Being silent and talking, some people just prefer to be silent and some prefer to keep talking.

4. " living"

What does living mean to you? It can mean different things to different people. Are you referring to living life or just existing?

Whatever it maybe living or just existing is a person's choice. One may choose to lead robotic life, just exist and then die one day. Whereas some people want to live life, have friends, have a social life, get married, have kids etc etc. Hence this depends. Hence this is also a WANT.

5. "getting married"

Now this is entirely subjective and is highly debatable. This according to me can be qualified as both NEEDS and WANT as well. For some people it is an absolute need, they cannot live alone, without a partner etc, whereas for some they don't care. They can live also.

6. "sitting idly and watching the wall"

Okay, this is an useless activity. Looks stupid as well. This is neither a need nor a want of a human being.

7. "sleeping and waking"

Well, here sleeping is surely a need. Why? That is because when you sleep your body repairs itself, we don't even realise but it is recharge. It is important to sleep so that our organs, our body will function properly and at its best. Hence sleeping is surely a NEED. An obligation you can say so.

Walking? Not so much. You don't have to walk, walking is an exercise. You can be awake, work in front of computer, laptop and not walk at all. It is fine. Hence it is upto a person to decide if they want to walk or not.

Walking is good for health though. It is a good exercise.

8." It all seems obligation to me. Why could that be? Do you think my psyche is normal?"

I think I have explained myself very well. Well why your thinking is like this only you know or when you visit a professional, they may tell you.

I hope my answer was clear and you understood.

chaznthat · Accepted Answer

The first things you mentioned are more needs over obligations. In relation to the other things you mentioned, they seem like things people do due to social norms. I am a firm advocate of doing what YOU want to do. Sounds obvious but there are many social norms that people adhere to simply because of everyone else. As a man, I felt this with gender identity. I felt really confused because I love everything thats feminine but I am surrounded by blokes. After lots of courage, I now wear only womens clothes which makes me happier. I Still dont fully understand it but its an improvement 🙂

natured · Accepted Answer

Breathing and nurturing yourselves are not an obligation, it's your natural process of keeping yourself alive.
Getting married, having children working and such are free choice.
I think you should separate OBLIGATIONS from NATURAL NEEDS

Seinna · Accepted Answer

I think you need to get busy with something, really busy. It might be depression but you can try to fight it by distracting yourself from it.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Everything is an effort. This is a sign of depression. Do you have other signs?

ArztSchlachthof · Answer

The way I see it - this could be a standard symptom of a lack of ambition and enthusiasm, I'm afraid.

Set a goal. In the morning, say to yourself - what will I do today? Relax, so I can be productive tomorrow? Be productive today and relax later? Combine it? Everything you do should have a purpose as your life should have a purpose. Do you want to accomplish something great in your life? Maybe you just want to have fun and laugh eternally? Either can be done within next 24 hours easily, the first step is to set your next goal.

Another reason - you probably don't pay attention to detail. Last night, I went out to see the stars. Standard observation, but in a couple of minutes, I realised how beautiful they are and went on to observe black, almost non-visible branches of trees, the sound of the wind, all the lights far away from unknown sources - it all brought immense happiness to me, I realised how everything around is perfect, even our lives. Hard to have depression afterwards, right? ;)

However, the real and probably the main reason you see the world this way - you are not satisfied with both your life and yourself. Is that it? Lack of confidence and self-love? You don't see yourself as a great person? Change it tomorrow - make a list of doable things, hobbies, career paths, how to innovate/help people. If you can see the progress, accomplishing set goals one after another, you will feel like you deserve to relax and have fun and it shouldn't seem as obligatory.

If this won't work - try martial arts and extensive workouts. Nothing gives you enough discipline to "stay on target" than proper physical activity. I, for example, have a Bokken (a wooden katana), a bow, a bo (staff) etc., which I all use to train various martial arts. Remember the old saying "With great power comes great responsibility"? It really works, you will get both your body and your soul in shape in no time.

Don't know if any of these "tips" help, but I've tried ;) Good luck with your appointment!

JustAnj · Answer

There are many reasons why this could happen.

Mental block
Depression
Deep in emotions
Feeling numb
Stress
Physically fatigued

It honestly depends on what's going on within the body and mind.

You are becoming more aware of what living means and the push it takes to do it when most people automatically just focus on life and allow their natural instincts to guide them to there needs.

Being aware of what's usually automatic tends to make you feel more stressed and you feel like it is a chore and obligation to even function.

The question is why are you becoming more focused on the things you usually do without thought?

jamezsexton · Answer

If everything seems like obligation or chore
Your noticing signs of depression the psychological apt is good call, as for being normal some function just fine with this people like me dont im prone to bad depression and ptsd due to psychological effects after years in service and even the way i was raised. Being a trucker has made it hard for me to, though without it no way to properly provide for my family (wife and 7 kids) without them my depression would be astronomical.

Maybe look for someone that is good for you not just supportive but someone has been there for while and you have continued to be friends with over the years (even a emotional support dog)

You have found first step noticing the problem and try figuring it out (your apt)
Best luck know your not alone and update us when you know more

Question_091 · Answer

Not usually. Somethings can be obligation, while others are just for pleasure. For instance, one may work a job. That person could see it as an obligation, because they get paid for working, or they could see it as pleasure with pay because they love working, meeting people, and staying productive and active.

Breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, relationships and working are all obligations, because we don't function properly without them, and too much of them can be a bad thing as well.

With a negative outlook on life, one may feel these are all burdens, while another can look at these outlooks as positive, because they can have beneficial results when managed appropriately.

CasuallySamsonite · Answer

Seems like depression to me too, do you also have times that you feel super charged to get things done? If so, mention that to your psychologist too. Regardless, follow their advice and whatever you do, do not try to self medicate with street drugs. Best of luck, glad you are getting help.

Scotte1us · Answer

Its true we humans made this world the way we live, just think cave times do you think they had social security number or paid taxes or go to work , but one thing in common they went hunting because eating and drinking is necessary for us to survive, but you dont have to eat certain times or 3 times a day its up to you , believe me your body will let you know when you start starving or thirsty.

Likethesky · Answer

We need some of these things to stay happy. Some of these things like breathing, eating, drinking to stay alive. Perhaps maybe you are depressed and maybe tired a lot. That's why these thoughts are coming to your mind. You seem like normal person going through a bad time but anyways going to a psychologist would make it easier in battling depression.

JosyJosy · Answer

Because some of those Are an obligation. You need food and water to sustain your wellbeing, toilet, sleep, breathing, that's all completely normal

Practising a hobby is... I don't see it as an obligation but recreation, something you want to do in your free time, not something you Have to do. You don't HAVE to do them, it's NT EXPECTED of you. However to practise a hobby that you want you're expected to put in effort. Expected to who? To you, cause you want to practise that hobby ^^

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Eating and drinking are a must to maintain a healthy body. Good sleep is always important because you can't go 100% if you're tired all the time. Having fun is the best way to develop experience and avoid depression. If you don't breathe you'll suffocate. It's the small details that make up your life

Browneye57 · Answer

Good, yeah, you need to talk to a professional counselor.
Your entire life is one great big giant opportunity. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Just understand that what you choose DOES have consequences, so choose wisely.
Your shrink will help you sort through it.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

Besides eating and sleeping the others aren't obligations.

Supernormal · Answer

If you stop yourself from the cycle, you fall off from the cycle. You're not the 0nly one tired of all that rotation. Just get yourself lots of whiskey, roasted turkey (or any food you like) , lots of movies, a freaking job or at least some way to get income, a sex freak boyfriend, say the Lords prayer and let that time roll baby. We didn't create ourselves, enjoy

ifDaddyHadaPrincess · Answer

Uhm when I feel like that it’s because I’m depressed. I don’t see the point of existing most of the time… so yeah a therapist might help you.

OurManFlint · Answer

I'm a little lost. Has eating and going to toilet been an impediment to something else more... enjoyable? If so, does obligation somehow represent something burdensome?

Trying to understand your training of thought.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Depression causes small normal everyday things to become overwhelming and a chore.

Guanfei · Answer

Many things feels an obligation to me, just because I don't enjoy it or feel like it's time wasted. Like eating a regular dinner, or taking a shower, or getting the groceries.
I still do it normally, but it feels annoying.

MoonStalker · Answer

For me, it's because life is empty of the good, and full of the bad...

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

You may need to be on medications, What you want to say is that you lack the ambition to do things so it sounds like Major Depression

Exterminatore · Answer

Doesn’t seem normal. I suppose those are all obligations so to see those as obligations would be correct.

CreamySeed · Answer

The only time someone sees the mundane doldrums of life interesting and beautiful is when they are faced with a chronic illness or someone they know dies

Scotselena · Answer

Breathing and nurturing yourselves are not an obligation,

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Depression is a mental condition that can cause you to feel so sad and distraught that all the things described in the question happen to you.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Everything is NOT an obligation. You do what you want to do as long as you don't harm anyone else by doing it.

ALewis30 · Answer

Breathing and nurturing yourselves is part of life. You need to breath, eat and clean.

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Offhand I'd say bad parenting. In this case I'd guess your parents were overly demanding. The kind who are constantly telling you to "eat your greens".

Hadesheim · Answer

Because it is all repetitive and probably that person is intelligent, she should learn to create things like worlds or write something immersive and from another world.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You are making some odd observations. Yes, voiding your bladder and lower intestine are "obligations" to sustain your life, but getting married is hardly an "obligation".

Iron_Man · Answer

That’s called life my friend you don’t need to go to a Head doctor for that

FakeNIK · Answer

Rather than worrying, I'd suggest you find the root cause of the problem

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

Because that's how life is. In order to stay alive, you need to do things, you might not want to do

red_knight · Answer

When the perso is depressed

MudRucker · Answer

You have major depression

AdithyaR · Answer

Clear signs of depression. Therapy required.

StunningANDbrave · Answer

You're overthinking things.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like depression to me.

Twalli · Answer

Most are necessary for life and health.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Depression.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

You feel obligated to breathe?

msc545 · Answer

Because many things really ARE obligations.

karaspara · Answer

Necessity

Ryfyle · Answer

You need meds.

Why does a person begin to see everything as a obligation?

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Do people fear commitment or the responsibility that comes with being chosen?

Why does a person begin to see everything as a obligation?

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Do people fear commitment or the responsibility that comes with being chosen?

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