If people made fun of your voice every time that you speak, would you start talking less?

[Flower7]

This is something I’ve been experiencing and it’s gotten so bad that I’ve started speaking only when I absolutely have to. I don’t want things to be that way, but I don’t feel like I have many other options.

Yes

No

[Interstate]

No. When you stop and think about it, once people observe something about someone they don't approve of or find amusing, they already have a label on that person. Now I remember listening to your sample you posted a few weeks ago. I found nothing out of the ordinary about the sound or tone of your voice. But with that being said, if you have people dis-ing you or being derogatory because of how your voice sounds, to hell with them and let them think what they want. YOU are YOU, Flower. You are the way your maker wants to be, and that is all that matters. Anyone who wants to think less of you based on your voice doesn't belong in your life by any means. By talking less, you are caving into what the assholes think, rather than climbing the heights of "I am me, I like me and that is all that matters".

[Flower7]

I guess it could be true that by the time someone makes a comment, the judgement was already in full swing long before that. That’s a good way to think about it. Such as just finding someone different in general and then choosing one thing to make a comment about. So there really was no hope for getting along with that person to begin with. I guess the problems between me and those people go much deeper than them just having an issue with my voice.

[Interstate]

In that case, it is best to find out now then learn the much harder way later on what they really are like.

[Flower7]

I agree that being silenced is never a good thing and that would be giving my enemies what they want. And yes, it’s DEFINITELY better to find out sooner rather than later.

[Interstate]

It's never worth it to feed the beast. The less food they have, the less there is to give them energy to come after you ;-)

[Flower7]

Good point! However, some people seem to get even more furious when a person who they are trying to upset stays calm.

[Interstate]

Ain't that the truth?

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/HV_X5XY_a98

[Flower7]

Those are good tips, thanks! I really liked the part about expressing myself and using that to filter out which people belong in my life and which ones don’t. And it’s nice to think that maybe pissing people off by being myself is actually a good thing.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/w9NcU2efnQQ

[Flower7]

People definitely don’t like independent thinkers!

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/ry5_TMvGkHI

[rjroy3]

I have an aggressive communication style. So if someone was regularly teasing my voice. The first one would be met with any of the below:

1. Plain look showing I'm unamused and turning away from them, blocking them out of the conversation as I continue what I'm saying to the others

2. Point out the childish asshoke behavior, saying what everyone else is thinking

3. Talk shit back before continuing what I'm saying to another person

Basically anything, that if he attempts to try and re-engage you with that behavior he looks like an idiot who's just embarrassing himself to everybody else in the room.

And the act of you standing up for yourself in that way makes him look bad, while at the same time showing everybody else you're somebody with a spine who they can respect

[Flower7]

What would you do or say if it was just the two of you and no audience?

[rjroy3]

Depends on the conversation up until this point. If it was 97% positive then they joked the way you said something in a teasing manner then that's something else.

But if they're legit insulting you, something as simple as "damn. I thought you were cool. My mistake" then walk away

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

There's is nothing wrong with your voice, Let me share something with you
I have a high pitched voice and many people have mistaken me for being a female
Well this kind of upsets me cause some people will call me and say is this, you Darren
I say yes it is me so I know what you are going through and I just try to lower my voice
when I talk on the phone so people stop mistaken me for being a Female and I can
tell you that I am and was born 100% Male yes this upsets me so I feel for you :(

[Flower7]

Does this issue ever make you start talking less to keep that from happening?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 Yes Flower I hate making calls and I have a communication gap
I do fear they will call me ma'am

[Flower7]

Now I’m really curious to know what your voice sounds like!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 Here i share with you https://voca.ro/13MK60qspt3S

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

https://voca.ro/1k8SMDCkRalh

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 Sorry I got you mixed up with cookie comes on here

[Flower7]

Thanks so much for sharing! From the tone of your voice, it makes you sound like you’re a very nice person. As far as gender, it honestly seems like it could be either one. At the beginning, when you were talking a bit slower, it DEFINITELY sounded like a man. But when you started speaking faster, it was a bit hard to tell which gender’s voice it was.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 You're welcome, yeah hard to tell I just wish my voice was deeper like a male
But I had a former neighbor who sounded like a man on the phone and she was a woman

[Flower7]

I’m sure the vice versa would be hard to deal with also!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 Yeah it is

[Jena-Min]

Uhm, that's a good question.
People have made my fun because I have a deep and raspy voice, and have this tendency to add a long "Eeeh" at the end of every sentence, that comes out as a raspy "roar" of sorts. My mother would even compare my voice to an old dog's barking!
I admit this made me feel a bit self-conscious, but in the end I realized that luckily many people care more about what you say rather than the way you are saying it!

[Flower7]

I agree that what’s being said is the most important! That’s part of the reason why this issue bothers me so much. I feel like people pay so much attention to how I sound that they miss most of what I’m actually trying to tell them.

[Jena-Min]

Yes!
Sadly many people nowadays focus on the appearance and sound rather than the substance of something.
I'm sorry you have to go through that, it must not be easy and it must be really irritating to feel invalidated just because of sound and/or appearance.
If I can give a little tip, I've learned that on many things the majority of people tend to give the weight you give them. It's almost as if they sense it, if you are conscious about your voice or something else, they'll pick up on it. So if you do your best to distance yourself from those worries, much less people will take note of them: maybe they'll still note them on a first impact, but then they'll quickly get over them!

[Flower7]

That is a good tip. I think it’s true too. And it makes sense because when someone is feeling self-conscious about a certain quirk, they probably would exaggerate it because of thinking so much about it. Like if someone was made fun of for how they walk, their walk would start looking even more awkward because they’re overly focused on it.

[Jena-Min]

Exactly!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

For starters fuck those people you have a sexy voice & instead of talking less talk more & continue to communicate the way you have always.

[Flower7]

Thank you! :)

[Static_In_The_Attic]

In life who you are is who you are & you shouldn’t have to change for anyone so be yourself & don’t let people or things bother you.

[Relux47]

One of the ways my coworkers and I can communicate is via walkie talkie so one day a coworker of mines was walking by me and he was trying to imitate how I speak (I told him that’s not how I sound when I speak). A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a kid and I think I said one word then a different coworker imitated me. I already don’t talk as much as it is so when people make fun of my voice it makes me not want to speak at all (I might as well just be freaking mute)

[NerdyAndTall]

When I first moved to the states that was one of my first insecurities for that reason

[Flower7]

Did it make you start talking less? And did your voice ever start sounding more like theirs?

[NerdyAndTall]

Yep and yeah

[Flower7]

Did your accent change naturally over time, or did you have to put effort into it?

[Jonny59]

holy shit I am not alone this is hell for me because when I was growing up in middle school and high school people were mocking my voice my weight my hair my eyes my walking etc literally I was the person they would mock daily
I tried to stood for myself nothing works
fuck it I let it finish now I am way free and without negativity

[Flower7]

How did you end the situation?

[Jonny59]

growing up I was addicted to my PC just like todays kids but I completely forgot about the real world I got insanely fat I was short when I was in middle school I was drinking too much coca cola
about my voice its because when I play video games I often get angry and I scream ik its wrong but my voice changed quite a lot
today I am 20 year old thinking about career with IT jobs because I remember myself since I was 8 year old sitting on my pc but today I am in a nice shape everything is okay I even got more handsome people told me. it seems life is better if ur not fat which is sad but reality..

[Flower7]

It would make a lot of sense to go into IT since you loved computers so much.

[pizzalovershouse]

I go to a throat doctor and get surgery if I dint like the way I sounded like if I spoke to soft or real high pitch

[Flower7]

I didn’t know there’s such a thing as surgery for a voice change.

[pizzalovershouse]

👍😊

[Flower7]

That’s really weird because it seems like there would be no way to predict what the outcome would be and exactly what the new voice would sound like. That seems like such a wild card.

[InferiorElegy]

I could say yes but it doesn't mean you should, I'm a weak person. Always being called ugly has gotten to the point I don't like to leave my house except for work because I need to pay bills and stuff. If people made fun of my voice which I already hate I would pretty much stop talking because I only speak when I need to. I'm sure you're not as weak as me and you'll be fine and I'm sure you'd find a solution better than what I could ever find.

[Flower7]

I have the same problem, as far as weaknesses. I’m horrible with confrontation and use avoidance instead.

[Rob17792]

i had that happen growing up and still do sometimes and when they try to now i do one of three things give them the finger or a pull out my knife or pull out my baseball bat then they immediately shut up

[Nik1hil]

I would change the companions around me..
Find better company and if I had a weird voice... I would learn sign language..
Or type in and use text to voice software to speak

[Flower7]

It’s not friends that this is happening with. It’s random people that I come across in everyday life. Strangers mostly.

[Nik1hil]

Well.. Don't give a fuck about them!..

[Flower7]

It’s hard because I can’t go a full day without interacting with anyone. I have to leave my house on a regular basis.

[Nik1hil]

Well.. Don't give a fuck about them..
What's wrong with your voice...
Do you sound like Donald duck..
Or do you sound like a man!..

[Wiredone]

You absolutely have a choice. Get away from the people who make fun of your voice. Real friends don't do that to their friends. It's one thing to joke around but if they continue to do it, why bother being around them.

[Flower7]

I don’t have any friends. This is just from random people that I come across in everyday life.

[Juxtapose]

I would talk more and louder.

If anybody has a problem with my voice they can kiss my white ass.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww. :(. You shouldn't silence yourself just because of the way other people react to your voice!

[exitseven]

I will not be silenced.

[Tim-loves-it]

I would make them laugh more!

[Flower7]

You mean by talking strangely on purpose?

[Tim-loves-it]

I imitate tv, movie, and cartoon characters on purpose to make people laugh

[Glasgow55]

Talk more!