I feel people are selfish and if you give them an inch they'll take a mile. I'll give them the info like for example my neighbor who begs for help I told her ," there are a lot of local caregiver agencies that can help you." Then I'll send a link. I'll give the info but they have to do the work and it's up to whoever they do the work with whether or not they'll accept them or not. Other than that I don't lift a finger. From there they usually back off and get the hint that I'm not doing the leg work.
Nope, I don't help people for free. I only help people if I'm getting something out of it. Otherwise people will take advantage
I love helping people and don't care if I don't get anything in return
I do the same as you. I'll give them a link or info of where to go but they have to do the work
I help friends, and I help people with a real need. People who don't appreciate my help or who clearly aren't willing to help themselves don't get helped again.
It's kind of like this: people who never tip at a restaurant will always tell you how lousy the service is that they receive - everywhere! They never seem to connect the fact that THEY are the problem. Who wants to go the extra mile for someone who clearly doesn't appreciate it? Meanwhile, I tip very well, and places go out of their way to provide me with good service. Crazy how that works, right?
Likewise, when someone does me a favor, I always show my appreciation - both in words and in actions. I just had a problem with a Linux app - a very specialized problem that is far outside my area of expertise. I found an expert in the Netherlands to help me out, and he took 15 minutes out of his day to fix my problem. He didn't ask for anything in return, but I sent him $50. Not a ton of money, but enough to get himself a nice meal or something. I may never need his help again, but if I ever do, I bet he'd be inclined to give it - what do you think?
I help cause I have been in their place and when I asked for help, people did help me. But, it doesn't always go both ways. We all should understand that. I learned the hard truth pretty late in life. I helped a friend few times. One time she didn't have a place to stay and didn't have enough money to go to my place. So, I moved my ass and took the bus to reach her. And then we came to my place by bus together. I was also financially struggling at that time but at least I had place to stay. A couple of years after that, I was sort of homeless. I moved from one place to another, slept in a night bus going back and forth from one side of the city to the other side. One day I decided to reach out to her to let me stay one night. She refused. She said she was busy. I told her, I'd be quiet. I'd sleep on the floor. She still refused. Even until now I'm not sure what I have done wrong to her. It was heartbreaking to me. But it also taught me that I should never expect other people to treat me the way I treat them when it comes to kindness. Despite all this, I still want to help people. Cause I know how it feels to be rejected when you really need it the most. Of course, know when the other person is just scamming you. Should learn to tell the difference too.
My entire career is based on helping people. I've come across those that are truly thankful for what I've done to care for them or their family member (even if that family member passed away).
But I've also come across people that are nothing short of horrible to me and the rest of the medical staff treating them. It is seriously incredible how mean and nasty a person can be to those that are trying to keep them alive. I've seen coworkers cry after leaving that patient's room. Hell, I'm guilty of that myself. They can make you feel like shit.
But for everyone of those shitty people, there are 10 good ones that are thankful. And those are the ones I hold on to. They are the ones that get me out of bed and into work. They make all the other shit worth it.
I'm referring to people in general. Not in your work field. In your work you're benefitting from helping people because you're getting paid to do so. Which isn't a bad thing. I'm referring to just people
I’m a lifelong volunteer. Started in school and scouts. After college the job market in America was terrible so I joined Americorp NCCC as a volunteer wildland firefighter. Kept volunteering after that which allowed me to travel to Hawaii and Italy. The goal was to join the peace corp but after getting some creature comforts after all of that I got a regular job and proceeded to hate it. After 5 years of that I quit and joined the Appalachian Trail Conservancy and resumed volunteer work. So long story short volunteering/helping others gave me the experiences of my life. They helped me build character and learn self respect that transcended beyond the shell I had before. Also they helped me become self sufficient and resourceful. Volunteering and self sacrifice in the service of others is a rewarding and incredible experience.
I am only willing to help those that are already helping themselves. Even then I'm very hesitant to offer any help. Been taken advantage of to many times and never got any help when I needed it. Also I will be honest I have put in more hours volunteering at animal shelters then I ever will at a program that helps people.
Well worse thing a animal has done to me is crap on me and bite me. Why would I want to go out of my way to help humans when they have done much worse to me? Sure people will say that my view point is wrong and I should change it. But it comes right back to the idea of walking a few miles in another persons shoes. My view and unwillingness to help comes from life experience.
Unless it's an elderly person I don't mind helping. But people overall no I don't help. I help them to help them selves. Just like my neighbor she's not elderly but begging me to help her when i don't even know her. I just told her there are local homecare agencies that could help her. And sent her a link
I'll only help really close people, or people that have made me a good favor.
I once helped my childhood friend with a problem he had woith school. Basically I helped him not get suspended saying he was very dedicated. One time I was in need of a drive cause my car broke down and he acted as if he hadn't recieved my calls and messages although he was online.
@ asker… I vote C. A coworker asked for help. I told her where to look. she has to do the rest.
kids I’ll help them they become independent. I might be 42 or more… you never know who will live longer AND healthier… not nice name calling… your life will be shortened.
@midnightmoon05 that wasn't me. There is a user who has made multiple accounts using my name and picture. That was his 6th one. he put his name as uptowngirl888. I reported his comment. Took too long for admin to intervene so I had to delete your comment to get him off. They said they deleted his account already.
You're fine he's done this a lot and my followers asked me why do I have 3 accounts, then he started talking crao to people in my comments and they thought it was me. I have a post about it somewhere
In my target vs Walmart post and the living far from family I mention him in my updates. After that he started stealing my pics using uptowngirl808 uptowngirl 88, uptowngirl33
I'm a helpful person... the few bad experiences won't discourage me from doing it so, they are lessons learned, things to watch out in the future and as you go on... so that's what I do... I cut off and stay away from the bad situations and then move on, continue to help with what I can, as much as I can
being helpful doesn't have to be the same as allowing people to take advantage of you... nor take you for granted, and that's always on us
Nice deeds go a long way but never help people to feel better about myself or to receive something in return. The whole point of helping people is to push them in the right direction or to better their lives even if it seems small.
Whenever people talk about their good deeds online they mention how good they feel about themselves. That defeats the whole purpose of helping others. It's supposed to be about the person you helped, not how you feel.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
If you doing it for them or for thanks you're doing it for the wrong reason. To quote John Dutton from the show "Yellowstone", We help people because it's the right thing to do. And that's the only reason we do it". But there's the old saying " God helps people who help themselves". I see nothing wrong with giving them the info you did. You are helping them to help themselves. Those programs exist for that reason. And there is NOTHING wrong with setting boundaries. Yes, some people will take advantage of others good nature. Just don't let those people sour your giving heart.
Well it depends on the circumstances. If someone is dumping their entire life on you then of course you have to set boundaries but like if you're doing volunteer work it's amazing and fulfilling and you're helping people. Or if you do something nice for someone once in a while. In general I think helping is great but it just can't be something that's too much for you to deal with.
I'll help spot or help out a bit, but only to help them get back on their feet or deal with a situation that can't be dealt with alone. But I don't do it all the time. Barely anymore in fact. Also, if you say you'll pay me back, I will hold you to it.
I have noticed that volunteering with help/advice for people deep in their own rabbit hole is futile. For example, alcoholics in denial, someone stuck in the ivory tower or someone with total delusions. People have to realize they actually need help, first. Then they can ask and I can check what I could do for them.
I help others not caring if I got something in return because love and help aren't given so that we will get a payback. If I help someone and expect them to payback me then it will be selfish of me. And I help people are say me to help in right thing. Like I can't help someone who wants me to beat up someone. Like if someone innocent is getting hurt due to that help then I ain't doing it.
I'm up for helping blind kids or disabled veterans, etc, but able bodied people who are broke because they choose to be ignorant, no way. the corporation i work for constantly has voluntold projects for me to go to help people of whatever the current most PC race is, who have nothing wrong with them and could easily help themselves. it's a crock of bullshit but it makes us look woke and keeps the discrimination lawsuits away
I help people regardless of gender, race, etc. Because doing things to help others makes me feel good and at the same time I would like to think they’d do the same for me.
Oh by the way, I’ma right wing American who tends to agree with Republicans and conservatives. 🤷🏻♂️ And am an extreme anti-feminist to boot. I’ll hold a door open for anyone but if you’re gonna be an ass I won’t hesitate to let it slam in your face
I'm in the B category but I've grown to take it easy and develop a sort of reluctance because I've met my share of those "give an inch and they'll take a mile" types.
I prefer helping people more these days who don't ask for help and especially ones who are reluctant to accept it. Those types are usually conscientious and don't take more than you have to offer.
Maybe also the way they ask. I met this woman once in an airport and she asked me if she could help her with her bus fare. She told me a story about how she was stuck at the airport and didn't have any money for a ride to see her family. I shrugged her off as I've learned to do but then I saw her sitting in the airport lobby and crying. So then I converted some of my foreign currency to US dollars and gave her a fairly large sum of money in an envelope. Then she smiled and said god bless me and whatnot even though I'm not religious and that made me happy. She didn't even look in the envelope.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just selfish though. I might not get anything tangible in return but it makes me happy doing that so I'm getting something in return.
I help people whatever I can, sometimes detailed, but clearly, I hate to help typical people whose things are obviously on their hands, who always refuse to learn a lesson but complaining and who tend to have bad attitudes to their helpers (do you want to helps people then they criticize, complain, and possibly stab you.)
I'll help people and not expect anything in return but I wouldn't say I love it as often times it requires me to go out of my way to talk to people and interrupt my entertainment but at the same time I know it's the right thing to do so I'll power through it this is my standard for people whom are good like friends and natural aka random people who just need some help real quick but if someone is a complete ass hat like say Ted Cruz then I would never help him
I have a line on how I help and who I help. Some people come with requirements and will attempt to twist your arm when you refuse. I just have the ability to say no even more when someone begs or insists
Helping others is the same as a good deed. There are not enough people who engage in this activity anymore but I still do and will continue to serve others where I can until the day I die. It's hard sometimes because you do and will be taken advantage of but don't let that stop you from doing your good deeds. These random acts of kindness may just make their week. I know I feel good for doing it.
if no one ever helps anybody else the world is just going to just be cold and cruel. yeah, people can take advantage sometimes but still, i think that it's good to help people sometimes if it doesn't cost you much.
People can be very disappointing and even downright rotten to other people but not all people are like that and you deny yourself the rewards of contact with good people by cutting yourself off from your community.
I love helping people and I have been messaging this person on here and I'm hurt now cause she claimed to be in her mid 30's but I put two and two together she isn't what her age is it hurt me but life goes on.
That is what my job is all about, helping others. Right now I am doing community covid testing, and everyone had said thank you! It makes it feel worthwhile doing it
I agree with you, people I give info to, expect me to send emails and " do the work". I am willing to help by pointing in the direction of the information, But the rest is up to them.
If I have it and someone needs it, I'm always gonna help. I've given the last of what I had to strangers that appeared to need it more.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I was always that type of person, raising funds for charity, volunteering in medical centers, pet shelters. But no one helps me when I am in great trouble. I still have to deal all by myself. Plus most women actually don't wanna date guys like me, they always put me in friendzone, take help and then date bad boys. I know I am not entitled to them but as a human being, you need at least someone to care for you. I have stopped major helping people anymore.
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