Why are guys shamed for talking about getting abused?

[Anonymous]

[NamerOfStars]

Women get empathy, men get respect. Each lacks what the other has, socially speaking. And that lack of respect extends to a woman's prowess as a criminal: it doesn't matter if she's a black belt or carrying a knife, she's not seen as a legitimate threat unless she's got a gun (and sometimes not even then). Consequently, a man being abused by a woman is seen as a failure twice over- not only did he fail to defend himself, he failed against a WOMAN. Men who are abused by other men fare a little better, reputation-wise, but not much.

Failing to the degree that you need to bring it outside help is seen as almost anathema- from the skewed viewpoint of biopsychology, it only makes sense to condemn it.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

A lot of people are being shamed for talking about being abused. However, it’s more common for men because they are seen as the stronger sex and society doesn’t believe that men would ever “put up with it.”


People get shamed for talking about getting abused because other people don’t understand it, and they probably feel uncomfortable hearing about it.

[Asker]

Getting gaslight and being told “you deserved to get abused” is a lot to take for anyone. I’ve actually had people trying to shame me for saying I was abused because they didn’t want any negative light on them or those they know

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Been in that exact position. It is a lot to take. I’m sorry about that…

[Asker]

Oh god I’m sorry. It’s brutal to go through that especially when your closest friends aren’t around when it happens

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Agreed.

[Asker]

Here’s to us doing better in spite of it 🥃

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Cheers to that, my friend 🥃

[dustybiker]

Ignore them. A small and miserable group can sound like a large number. The loudest and most obnoxious are easier to hear and remember until you learn to tune BS out.

[Subarugirl]

Toxic masculinity... basically an unhealthy mentality and perception of what masculinity is and should be that is passed down from generation to generation.

[Asker]

Shouldn’t toxic femininity play a factor with that since you brought up toxic masculinity?

[Subarugirl]

the issue is what is perceived to be masculine, not feminine. If the issues was with femininity then it would be toxic femininity, but that isn't the case here. Men are shamed for be a victim of abuse because being a victim is seen as masculine, and toxic masculinity teaches that anything less it's definition of what masculinity is, masculine, weak, pathetic, ect… which is blatantly false and damaging to society.

[Asker]

If a guy is abused by another guy he can fight back no problem but when it’s a girl involved it’s like she can’t be touched because she’s a girl. It’s less of a manly thing that a biased one

[Subarugirl]

Men are less likely to report their abuse and reasonable self defense is totally legal. I think the issue here is that women are just more likely to report and document abuse, men aren't because toxic masculinity teaches then masculine men aren't victims

[Asker]

That’s because men will be thrown in jail over an accusation. That has nothing to do with toxic masculinity

[Subarugirl]

Actually false imprisonments are rare and one doesn't simply go to prison for unsubstantiated claims, You know the whole innocent until proven guilty thing... that's why so many rapists get away with it. If there is no proof and no confession then there nothing that can be done.

[Passion_Devil]

I think it's hard to talk about something so personal, where you're vulnerable

[driven159]

That is the way men are wired

[Waldoe]

abuse victims are very sensitive...

[AvaOneLasTime]

Since when?