Is a verbal or written apology better?

[Anonymous]

I've truly wronged someone (bad enough to nearly destroy her reputation) and struggle with apologizing since early childhood. I've always struggled with just saying ''I'm sorry''.

I have a personal journal where I freely express myself and it's more detailed (the way I imagine if I were talking) than any speech I've ever delivered. My whole apology to her is on my journal. That's what I imagine saying but I have issues expressing a heartfelt apology.

If someone really wronged you and is remorseful, would you prefer it in person or written?

Verbally

Written

[Vesuvius87]

I would generally accept either of the two but it depends on what they did. If it involves deliberate acts of persistent cruelty, bullying, scamming or going out of your way of lying and making my life miserable then forget it. I would block that person and want nothing to do with them. They can take their apology down the toilet.

For instance if my ex boyfriend were to apologize for scamming me with over $1,200 and future faking (laying about wanting a family), for lying about maliciously stringing me along for years, purposely wanting to drain all my fertile years (he was keeping from my dreams of marriage and kids, making sure I never get that), for going after my money... NO I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE HIM. If people like that want to apology, the best apology is to permanently disappear from my life. Just go away. You've done enough damage and an apology from them would be opening the wound again.

[HighlyVolatile]

Always in person. There are usually a lot of feelings there to unpack with long-winded written apologies that I'd prefer to work through back and forth.

[Guy__]

I personally would accept written, it doesn't matter much as long as I know you're not BSing. and it's easy to tell when people do that.

[Asker]

That's good. I've never delievered a heartfelt apology in person. All my feelings are on my journal. I felt comfortable that I was able to take my time and write everything down, everything I feel. Now I have to just emailed that part and delivered it to her.
I had several chances to do it in person but I struggle with that.

[SlothySlob]

If it's as bad as your example, I don't want anything from this person. I want them to take this regret to their grave.

[Vesuvius87]

Indeed. Same here. There are unforgivable things that not even an apology helps.

[ShyGuy303]

Apologies mean little to nothing to me changed action or not f’ing up in the first place is what I look forward to

[Guardian45]

Verbal expresses more information than can be contained in words alone. It's a fact!

[serious]

Verbal would be better.

[Danny_dan92]

Verbal, to the person’s face

[In_Trance]

You need to learn to let go

[whereismyjohnny]

Verbal.

[UpdateGloomyNights_]

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