Have you ever loved someone but had to walk away (either in or not in a relationship) what happened?

Question

No such thing as “if you really loved someone you wouldn’t walk” or “you can’t love someone if you’re not even dating” … there are billions of people in the world & trillions of situations, bound to be situations where people love, but must go away, sad as it is.

If you experienced that, what happened?

Have you ever loved someone but had to walk away (either in or not in a relationship) what happened?

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

Yes, a few times!
Kelly: Her boyfriend was an abusive asshole that was always accusing HER of shit she never did! One day, I accidentally kissed her on top of her head and when he heard about it, he accused her of having sex with me! When she moved here to be with him (they met online when she was 15 and he claimed he was 20 but he was really in his mid 30's!!), the guy living next door to her helped her move in (because her boyfriend couldn't be bothered to help!) and this guy rapped her!! When boyfriend found out, he accused her of cheating on him with the rapist!! After nearly 2 years of trying, I FINALLY convinced her to leave him and then he hit her with some kind of bullshit that caused her to stay and never talk to me again!! They got married and had 2 kids and, after the divorce, he started abusing and molesting the kids! She tossed his ass in jail!! Eventually, she started talking to me again and we're still good friends to this day.
Carol: She had been seeing my guitarist for a few years and I kept egging them on to get married. Finally, they did and, about a month later, he broke up with her! She'd been having nervous breakdowns and heard that the people in the hospital she went to was taking those that go there on a trip to a local amusement park. She asked him to go with her. He refused on the grounds that it'd like telling her it's okay to be sick. He never quite got it that they were only going to use "the hospital" for transport to and from the park and, once there, they would have nothing to do with them. He still refused so, she asked me. I said yes, he left her because of this and a few weeks later, she ended up in the hospital again!! This time, for 6 months!! By the time she got out the following spring, she went back too him and he said she could have nothing to do with me, anymore!
Anu: we met at a gig I played for another band and ended up becoming lovers. everyone figured we'd get married because we were perfect for each other. I DID ask! She DID say, "yes"! Then she said she never said, "yes'!! 8 years later, she starts cheating on me!! I dropped her like a hot brick!! She couldn't understand why!! So much for being a philosophy major!!
I'm sure there's others but, I'll leave it at that.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

In 2015, I met Ivy. She is 3 years older than me, and we immediately discovered an amazing breadth of common experiences and even some common acquaintances. We dated every weekend and eventually started spending every weekend together. Our relationship was exclusive from the beginning and there was never any desire to look for anyone else.

I eventually fell in love with her but she was not in love with me. She enjoyed spending time with me and didn't want to date anyone else but she was honest and said she was not in love with me. I stayed with her for two years hoping that her feelings for me would develop into a mutual love, but it never happened.

I eventually realized and accepted that she would never love me and that I wanted more than to be liked, so I ended the relationship. I was sad and she was sad. I met her for dinner a few months later, and she escorted me to a concert about six months later, but not with hopes of rekindling the relationship, and I have never reached out to her since 2017.

RosieMelts · Accepted Answer

I really did. He had a girlfriend one day.. it just was so unexpected to me. It was a friend he had known longer than me.

I told him I loved him and he said I was “too young” and he “liked” me too.

He was “sweet” and polite.

That behavior prevented him from ever saying the words: “Rosie I DONT love you.”
Which would have let me move on way sooner and grasp reality, so I didn’t fall into madness.

~partially my fault, for believing he was falling for me more and more because he thought highly of me, and talked with me often. (Yeah never fantasize romance with any man ladies 🤣). Keep it real.

He just never made his feelings ‘clear.’ So after he had a girlfriend- I kid you not, I felt like he told me he had just gotten married.

I felt like the movie ‘13 going on 30,’ where she sees her best friend is about to marry someone else.

Oh it’s PURE AGONY 😂

I let him go, though. I had to tell him I needed a year to just focus on myself, but it was really because he wouldn’t be a gentleman to just let me go.

I needed that whole year.. just to forget and fall out of love with him, trying to think clear and realize ‘who he was.’ He wasn’t everything I thought he was, for him to ‘randomly’ start dating an old friend. I knew something was ‘off,’ and I had to figure out what it was.

Toughest love of my life.. and it’s over; I’m healthy and happy without him 😂🙏

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Accepted Answer

I've learned that even tho it hurts like hell to walk away, it's necessary. Because staying will only make the inevitable that much harder.

I feel like I was the person that someone walked away from. My ex and best friend. We met at 15 and became super close. Dated at 17 on and off for 3 years. Decided we were better as friends, but we loved each other. We hooked up years later when were like 26 but didn't get back together. I always felt like he was my soulmate and we just couldn't get it right. In 2017 he confessed that he was still in love with me. And again, I loved him since we were 15. But I was also dealing with someone else that I felt strongly for. So I hesitated with him but deep down I knew he was the one. I didn't act fast enough and he eventually moved on. I didn't blame him but knew I fucked up by not choosing him. He ended up getting married like a year later. But we stayed closed. He was my best friend after all. He died this past March and the regret that I live with daily is almost suffocating. But I also have to believe that God knew He was gonna call him home 5 years after he confessed those feelings and if I had acted on them, we would have gotten married and had kids. And it would have been that much more difficult for me.

Lliam · Answer

Out of all my girlfriends in life, there was one with whom I fell hopelessly in love with. Her name was Petra. We lived together for over a year even though we both had our own places. I was 37 at the time and she was 30. We had so much fun together. I loved everything about her. She was an amazing person and my feminine ideal.

Circumstances forced us to separate. It's too complicated to go into, but it had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. I'll just say that a lifetime together wasn't meant to be.

I was devastated. It felt like my guts had been kicked out. I sometimes doubled over bawling. The pain was so great that I sometimes felt nauseous. I never experienced such anguish. It took me a year to pull myself together.

I met my future wife when I was 40 and we got married two years later.

20 years after we had last seen each other, Petra found me on Facebook and we even talked on the phone a few times. Just hearing her voice made my heart swell. She was living out of state. I was overjoyed to be in touch with her and to know that she was pursuing her dreams.

Five years later, I read that she had died from a sudden medical problem at the age of 55. Once again, I was shattered. There is a hole in my heart that will never heal. I will always love her and will never forget her. I was a lucky man to have spent that moment in time with, and been loved by, Petra of the angels.

My love for her didn't detract in any way from the love I have for my wife. It's interesting that I can love two people with all my heart.

Anonymous · Answer

So I just got out a crazy internet relationship that lasted three days. "Officially" I suppose. She is schizophrenic. And I thought I could handle it, but then she showed me her scars. And i had a mild panic attack. It hurt to see the evidence of the kind of pain that comes with that. And I felt that I was WAY over my head, that I was essentially a clueless teenager "falling" for someone that I didn't really know or understand. And that "love is supposed to be easy" like a Taylor Swift song.

I thought to myself, that I could just end it. Save a lot of anguish. Nip it in the bud. But I sort of professed my love to her just a few days earlier, so that would be insensitive.

I calmed down and soldiered on. Resolving to just try my best and be open.

And then the next day she dumped me.

I got exactly what I asked for I guess. An easy out, and no more difficult love story for me.

But it still hurts, and I still wish... I wish I could find love, even if it were a difficult and painful love. I wish love didn't hurt so bad.

PeteBy · Answer

I moved to another country with an express agreement that when her kids were old enough to make a choice we'd move back to my country when they were old enough. She broke that promise but that wasn't what made me walk away.

As the relationship got more and more fractured she was arrested for fraud, tax evasion and false accounting. This I stood by her for but she started on a one woman wrecking ball mission. While I was trying to look after her and the kids and trying to get us financially back on track. She was out partying and spending money we didn't have for a good two years. While I, not even the kids biological father was juggling the business and looking after the kids.

The final straw came when she said she was going out shopping with a friend. I gave her a budget of about $400 for groceries and necessities. No higher than $800 though as we needed business supplies. She went on a massive shopping spree. Spent $6,000 on a new computer and clothes and if as to appease me and say sorry. She bought me a six pack of beer.

All my work trying to look after the three of them was condensed into one moment. A six pack of beer when she'd just decimated all my hard work in one afternoon.

I left on the next flight and never came back. She flew over to my country try to 'save the relationship' but that was never going to happen.

roxy_362 · Answer

Yes, it was very intense... Feelings were mutual, and the whole affair lasted a mere month. We were both attached in our respective relationships with others; there was a lot at stake... So, we had to part...

I've been a different person since then, and despite the tremendous heartache, I'm eternally grateful to have lived through it than not have lived it at all.

Of course, even the meaning of being alive changes afterwards. Have you read "Oliver's Story"? That's a sequel to Erich Segal's much more famous novel "Love Story". After losing the love of his life, Jennifer, Oliver ends the sequel with the following words:

“Sometimes I ask myself what would I be if Jenny were alive.
And then I answer :
I would also be alive."

ZackBan · Answer

I did. Problem is at the time I didn't love who I was. So naturally she never loved me back.

Years went by and I moved on, now I can see other people without having her on my mind, and she's in a gay relationship but I am good friends with her AND her girlfriend.

I used to belive it could never be a real friendship because somewhere in there the feelings would still exist but here I am I can honestly say I have no feelings for her other than wishing her the best.

I think it's because she's changed and so did I, I am not the same boy who fell in love with that same girl, we have a very different dynamic now and it suits me way better.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I deeply loved someone, but he hurt me and really messed me around.
I just couldn't take it anymore.
I saw him recently and although I was pissed the way things were handled by him after, I still would have stopped to talk to him.
He's been in my life for 11 years.
Sometimes I still want to pick up the phone to call him. But I don't have his number and he wasn't really a friend near the end anyways.

Things change, soon enough he'll be a distance memory

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Of course! Several times, in fact. I'll give you three examples:

2010: I fell in love with a girl at work, and I nearly lost my mind (hyperbole) from the internal angst. Because I didn't know how to deal with it. I was stuck in limbo and completely frozen because I didn't want to make a wrong move. I did write her a love letter, but I think I f*cked up because it wasn't that great of a letter/ not my best work. Eventually I just quit my job and moved across the country. Problem solved lol.

2012: I went on a date with a girl and we were talking regularly. I was very attracted to her. But she wanted to have sex and I didn't. So I had to let her go.

2021: I met a girl online and we really hit it off and had good chemistry/ a good connection. We exchanged phone numbers and we began talking on a regular basis. We talked a LOT. But I later found out that she has psychological issues, so I backed off because she scared me a bit.

Vanidal · Answer

There's a girl in highschool, my junior that proactively approached me.
I was still broken hearted after a break up.
But she was nice, she's fun to talk to.
I kind of like the person. Maybe she's someone I can be with? I asked myself, out of curiousity.
And one day, there's a rumor that she's weird.
Lashing out, emotional in public, and all that.
At that time, I wasn't actually in the mood to start a new relationship. Especially with someone who was potentially weird.
So I became silent. I wasn't in the motivation to confirm her rumor. And I just began to feel at peace. It was nice to be alone.
Fast forward some years, she's dead.
Stomach problem.
I didn't know her enough but I felt sad.
Like, really sad.

Sandeeppingping · Answer

It was a girl friend of mine, I don't know if it was love I just really cared about her, right after her break up we started hanging out and suddenly everyone started calling her a whore, I left because I felt guilty and didn't want her to be known as a whore all over the small town we live in just because she hung out with me, I also stood up for her more times than I can count against people who called her that even friends of mine, but now she hates me like literally despises me, it's been a year I haven't found out why even though I tried contacting her again

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Yeah, my ex-fiancé.

I loved him, but had to let him go because he was very clearly not ready to be part of my life. He was looking for a mother and a manager, not a life partner.

He couldn't make appointments for himself, wouldn't pay his own phone bill, couldn't keep a job.

He was very sweet, and he had potential, but I couldn't keep loving him. He was just too immature - not in a "I have a childish sense of humour" way, but in a literally "I can't pay my own phone bills and I can't cook or clean" way.

We only lasted as long as we did because it was LDR (mostly due to COVID). As soon as time came to actually immigrate to Canada, he dropped the ball so hard he might as well never have been holding it.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Here is what happened I had to end things cause she lost my class ring a precious piece that mean a lot to me my late maternal grandparents purchased it for me and now I still never replaced it to this day and still sad.

jshm2 · Answer

You were infatuated, then. Not in love.

Romeo and Juliet is a story many remember. But not because it's a soppy love story. Rather, because of the effort both lovers and even the enemies in both families put in to make their work.

You cannot have real love without pain and effort, kiddo.

FreyaRed · Answer

I liked him since we both were 14. He violated red line I warned him several times if he does I will go. He tried to "lend" money from me for his stupid online games and bitcoin scam, I refused and dumped him. He could have my love for free but it wasn't enough, it will be never enough for this type of people.

AmeerX · Answer

Yeah I did. I wasn't in relationship but was about to give my confession but found out that they were getting married/engaged the moment I did. Happened to me twice.

Guy13 · Answer

You have to realize that lots of people on here live in digital fantasy land whether they are 50 or 15. Sometimes, Lif circumstances are larger and in opposition too our First Choice. Do not let these fools on here beat you up. NO ONE wants to do it... At least, we have had the choices... half the people on here in their La... LA... LA... Land.

It does such though...

Juxtapose · Answer

She would not communicate with me and eventually she wanted to break up so I had to let her go. Others have been taken, it is what it is unfortunately.

Iron_Man · Answer

Why in the heck would I walk away from somebody if I’m in love with them? I would never do that

exitseven · Answer

I have done this but I don;t want to talk about it.

TallAnon · Answer

Kind of, long story short, I was moving countries, so that's where things ended.

WhitneySnow · Answer

This has never happened to me and I’m very glad it hasn’t yet. That must really hurt.

Have you ever loved someone but had to walk away (either in or not in a relationship) what happened?

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