How do you feel about people who linguistically backchannel during conversations?

Question

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In linguistics, a backchanneling during a conversation occurs when one participant is speaking and another participant interjects responses to the speaker. A backchannel response can be verbal, non-verbal, or both. Backchannel responses are often phatic expressions, primarily serving a social or meta-conversational purpose, such as signifying the listener's attention, understanding, or agreement, rather than conveying significant information. Examples of backchanneling in English include such expressions as "yeah", "OK", "uh-huh", "hmm", and "right".

I notice that many people hate listening to podcasts where people linguistically backchannel extremely often. And I can even annoy myself if I do it a lot during conversation. Only because for me, its an old habit from my hyper-agreeable days. When I was a pushover. (Not that someone has to be a pushover to use them. I still use them. Just not as much so they're more meaningful.)

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

I don't really like them because I know it means the person isn't really listening to me and they're lost or thinking about something else and just saying that instinctively on autopilot. It's the universal code for "I'm just waiting for my turn to speak."

And while I do get when someone is droning on or speaking for WAY too long (which is why, aside from teaching, I try not to ever speak longer than 30-60 seconds at a time, because you've lost someone after that much time speaking non-stop), I instead just fake nod my head if I am really bored or zoned out to someone boring who won't stop talking. At best, the fake head nod is as much "backchanneling" as I do and it's non-verbal.

So I'm option C, but it doesn't bother me that much. If someone is doing it to me, it means I change the conversation or allow them to say something after the first time they do it.

TheUniqueOne96 · Accepted Answer

I don't mind it, as long as it's not overdone. I do it sometimes myself, to show that I'm engaged and listening, without talking over people.

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

I don't like feeling required to use them and be responsible for other people's low self-esteem. However, because I've been socialized to use them, I get angry at other people who don't think they are responsible for the same level of emotional labour.

Being around people who don't use them helps prepare you for job interviews. I've very rarely been to a job interview where the interviewers use any reading cues to help you give out your answers. They usually just stare at you neutrally while you talk.

Basically, using them helps you to form connections and bond with friends and feel validated, and not using them helps you practice being thick skinned when you meet people that don't use them, and still be confident carrying out your message.

PatriceONeal · Answer

I always filed it under virtue signalling in lieu of an actual cognitive response or argument. Those people aren't worth having conversation with as theyve clearly forfeited debating in good faith through their lack of civilized response. TLDR; they are manipulative morons who don't know the subject material and are too weak to admit it and improve.