Is a woman really worthless without a child? Like a man can't love a woman for life without having a kid?

[Anonymous]

I'm 31 and my boyfriend 41 left me cause he wanted to be a father bur i didn't want to be a mother. In the beginning of our relationship he knew I didn't want kids and I made it clear and he said that he is fully committed to me and willing to stay with me for life bur after 2 years being together he dump me for a younger woman 26 to have kids with..

I feel extremely devasted and heart broken... And i don't know if il ever be with any guy who won't leave me like this... I obviously do dream of getting married or settling down with a man and grow old with him but I don't want kids with that

Updates

1 y

No sexist or violent comments. Thank you

[MrOracle]

It's not that she's worthless, it's that she's INCOMPATIBLE. If this man wants a child of his own, he needs a woman who is willing and able to give him one. I realize he's an asshole if he didn't make that clear from the beginning - I'm not at all justifying how he went about this - but that doesn't change the fact that he's incompatible with a woman who can't or won't bear children for him.

That doesn't mean that some other man can't or won't want her and love her. But children are and have always been a huge part of MOST romantic relationships between men and women. That shouldn't be surprising information to you.

What if he told you he was asexual, and wasn't going to have sex with you anymore. Or what if he quit his job, and told you that he couldn't handle going to work anymore, and that you had to support both of you. Once you realized that he wasn't going to change his mind about that, you'd probably decide that he was no longer compatible with you, and you would dump him and move on. This is no different.

He's a dick for not making that clearly known to you at the beginning, and so I'm not surprised that you are hurt by his actions, but the "why" shouldn't be confusing to you. You just need to accept this, move on, and be upfront with the next man that kids aren't in the picture for you, and you need to make sure he doesn't want them either. Then, you'll be fine.

[Asker]

Your right I should make sure that someone I'm with doesn't want kids either..

[Havthrills]

Nope. I had a vasectomy long ago cause we decided to not have children. There's nothing wrong with a woman that doesn't want kids. Years later, I was with a woman who did. So I reversed it but no kids. I'm up for either as long as we get along great together.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm still on the fence about having my vasectomy. I definitely never want kids, but the idea of someone cutting into my scrotum and cutting my tubes in half makes me cringe so bad that I haven't gone through with it cuz it's scary... 😵‍💫

[Jessica405]

Certainly not! A woman has the same value with or without kids. She is born with the same value as all other women. She holds that value for life.

In my case, I never want kids. I spent 7 years at uni to get a decent job. I am not ever going to throw that away just to be mummy to screaming brats. Luckily, my boyfriend is the same.

[Bethany22]

With your next guy, give him 6 months after you first start dating to propose to you. At this age, you can't be wasting your time spending two years just being girlfriend and boyfriend with somebody like that.

[Asker]

Good advice thanks..

[TheSpaceGnome]

Wouldn't that mean that if he changed his mind like the last guy, that she'd have to go through divorce hassles on top of feeling crappy because she rushed into it before figuring him out?

[HighValue]

He is in the wrong since you made it clear from the start that you didn't want kids.

For me personally I would have no interest in a woman if she didn't want to create a family/raise kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I guess people change as they age and their priorities change over time. On the bright side (for you), there are plenty of men who don't want kids, especially today when men have virtually no rights in marriage and parenting.

[jshm2]

No. But to be fair, you were rather naïve to think he would stick around for two years and not change his stance.

No date should last more than a year and half without some commitment.

[LazerBean]

No she's not worthless as a human, but it's stupid to date someone who doesn't share or even have compatible life goals with you.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

No. I want to marry Noura and plan not to bear any children. Noura is far from worthless. Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t seem to be a true person who loves his girlfriend, if bearing children is more important.

[RealMarek]

It seems he either lied or didn’t know himself well. There is really no excuse for that at around 40 years of age. That sucks.

[misogynistic_pig]

Yes, evolution gave a woman a uterus to fulfill her only vital function, to have children.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

This is why it's so important for women to pick the right guy and to live a good life (these things get passed down)

[TheSpaceGnome]

No.

I dont want kids, and If I found a woman who also didn't want kids, and shared my hobbies/interests, I'd never leave her.

[call_me_scar]

No some people just want a kid and some people like us don't

[OddBeMe]

Dont think your thesis is proven. Your relationship ended for a pretty good reason.

[Asker]

Can you guess the reason?

[OddBeMe]

You told us. He wanted a kid, you didn't. Thats a pretty legit reason.

[OddBeMe]

Nothing wrong with wanting childfree by the way. Been happy for 38 years without fckin kids.

[Asker]

Okay that's great. Thank you

[Jamie05rhs]

That's messed up. I'm sorry.

And no; a woman is NOT worthless without children!!

[maximumpower]

Don't know where you've heard that but it's a load of crap.