What comes to mind if someone tells you that we'll "hold off on sex for the time being" but wants you to do "secret" something for them?

[ConfusedLady78]

The secret wasn't that bad, hardly anything illegal, but it really makes me wonder if the guy is saying "hold off on sex for the time being" to string me along.

He's having some immigration issues - he's from Germany - so that could be another reason to hold off.

We were dating earlier but had a bit of a fight - mostly due to his behavior, he was inconsiderate, etc.

[PrettyPriya]

He may want to hold off because of many reasons. Best to just ask him because all I can do is guess. Now, with the details given, it could be that because he isn't sure about the immigration status, he does not want to look like he is using you.

He might want to be sure that there is a potential future and relationship before taking that step and getting intimately involved just for it to no work out. If that is the case, good on him for being a gentleman and not making sex the priority.

It could also be because he is genuinely not ready. Perhaps he just doesn't think it is the right time. Yeah, I know. Most guys are not like that to pass up sex. There are guys out there though that are respectful and want the relationship to progress the right way.

I wouldn't worry too much about it or read into it that much. Don't overthink or you will go crazy. Again, best to communicate with him about it if you are worried.

[ConfusedLady78]

See we were intimiate before this fight - he was talking about getting a house, children, etc.

So I am rather confused by the change. It's either he isn't interested anymore. Or because his immigration is in question doesn't want to get involved again just yet.

[PrettyPriya]

Ohhhhh... okay so this wasn't like the first time having sex then? Yeah, well that is a bit more puzzling. I would have to think related to the fight or the immigration issues. I would bank on the latter if I had to pick one.

[Anonymous]

It is a little strange. I don't know what kind of game he is playing here.

[Guy13]

I think that is a smart move on his part whether he holds you in high esteem such as Wifey material and morals OR string you along and marry me so I can stay in country.

Maybe, he is not trying to get too attached in case he is forced to return after 6 months…

[Finchie40]

What guy wants to hold of on sex? Definitely something weird there , it sounds like he is stringing you along , kick him to the curb where he belongs

[Avicenna]

Id say this is someone to move on from if you aren’t getting what you want