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People tend to break laws, signifying their lack of power.
Regulation creates a power abuse problem, where those at the top aren't regulated.
Compassion is often opposed by fear and greed.
Is society just doomed to deal with people being assholes? Or is there some other method to be done?
Would it be more effective to just teach kindness? Or would that fail too because people seem to not agree one what is or isn't kind?
Is there a solution at all?
Updates
+1 y
There is also education in general as a possibility, but then you run into the issues of poor comprehension skills, misinformation, unknowns, personal preferences in outcomes, and different life experiences.
Updates
+1 y
As @BungusHighFivePizza states, cultural differences also play an obsticle.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I think it's a multi-cultural problem. People don't conform to the same rules of compassion and etiquette between very different cultures. The only solution I see for "all" is to get all largely to believe the same things about what's kind, mean, rude, polite.
This is definitely part of the equation I think. However mental homogeny to that degree is impossible, and would collapse society because different viewpoints cause people to seek out, prefer, hate, love, or put up with different careers. So homoheny of thought would result in everyone being good at/prefering the same jobs/skillsets.
homogeny*
I think there can be a uniformity in etiquette at least, although maybe lots of people will only act kind, and not really be kind. But it can build an easier society for those who genuinely are kind. I have no idea how to promote general kindness and empathy across a broader range of human beings.
What do you do in situations where politeness in one culture is in polar oppsition to another's?
And yeah I dunno how either.
I tend to turn into complete asshole. Like here, it is considered very rude to say "no". But I visited US and I had people knocking at my door and trying to sell me stuff, and initially I do what I think is right, kind, proper. "Thank you so much." "That's interesting!" "Oh yeah?" But then guy doesn't take hint that I am not actually interested. So it got to point where I was like, "Thank you so much. I will think about your offer!" Him: "You're thinking about our offer?" Me: "[Not really, just trying to be nice] I suppose so!" Him: "Let me interest you in this exciting new deal!" Then after like 30 mins, I was trying to close the door and just had to say, "Leave me the fuck alone! WTF!" [Slam Door]
In Japan (where I'm from), this is so unbelievably rude what he did! And he isn't only one I encountered there like that! They don't understand body language and subtle signs. So I was so upset because he forced me in my perspective to be so rude and mean to him. Then I regret long after like maybe I did not do this right and maybe I need to learn American culture more.
Thats another issue, he was being rude going door to door, but he views it as being considerate and giving you an opportinuty, whereas you were trying to be polite, yet lying is rude. So even within the same cultural space, people aren't being honest and forthcoming enough to be respectful of privacy or set boundries.
I would imagine body language varies by culture.
Do you think lying of this sort is unnecessary for social harmony? I think my culture emphasis knowing the difference between what people say and feel through their tone of voice, body language, things of this nature.
But also I feel like it is kind if I have, say, colleague woman who gets short haircut and ask me what she thinks if I say, "Hmm... nice! Women should be able to have short hair too and not just guys!"
I don't see point in telling her it looks so ugly since maybe that is just my opinion and also she seems proud. I don't want to ruin her day.
Yeah I think it's unnecessary, I'm pretty honest about what I think, If I think someone or their style isn't attractive, I'll just say "not my personal taste" or "I prefer x other thing".
Just because I don't like something, doesn't mean others don't. So logically calling them ugly makes no sense, as one person's 10 is another's 1.
I'm straight, so to me all guys are ugly, but to a gay guy or bi guy or straight woman or bi woman, this is not the case. So it's a matter of acknowkedging different opinions and perspectives.
The idea that it would ruin their day is its own issue, it means they stereotype.
That fact that you came to an entirely different conclusion and line of thought than me however, is just more proof of our cultural barriers topic.
I get sense like 98% of people aren't so sensitive. But I am worried about upsetting the 2% with thoughts that never even meant to direct them for harm. It is growing difficulty because I want to be kind and nice as I get older, but sometimes I just wanna say what I think.
Thats kind of you, but my thought is that if I say something nice, it can still offend someone if its a lie. So for example I'd be offended if a girl said I was attractive, but she didn't actually think it was ture, because to me honesty is respectful.
There is like this demon in me that wants to say most fat people lack discipline in a same sense I lack discipline as alcoholic. I usually resist the demon but sometimes I slip it. I just say most fat people lack discipline. Not trying to hurt anyone in particular; I just want to say it when I see American culture showcasing 200lbs woman on magazine and saying doctors are fat shamers.
true*
When I was younger, I would never say that because I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling. But as I get older, I am getting this energy like I want to say it so much. It seems even morally right to say even though it might hurt some people because it seems so right and true in ways everyone else denies in pop culture.
I warp my mind sometimes if I tell girl she is attractive until it becomes true in my mind. :-D Is that so weird? But maybe it's because I come from visual arts background. I try to find what is beautiful in everyone; even man, and even though I am heterosexual. If man is worried about his looks I try to find something very handsome in his features like his jaw, chin, nose, eyes.
Sometimes when such a man says he is so ugly, I can kind of see why he is unpopular. But most of the time I think he could be more if he has more confidence. So maybe it is little bit like a weird blurring of truth and lie but I will try to find something very attractive and striking about him, like good, strong shoulders, strong chest, strong jaw, good nose, good brow ridge, etc.
I want him to feel better but not 100% lie and actually getting close to 100% truth when I examine his features closely and look for good points.
My philosophy though is that the truest truth doesn't always help people. If I see little boy crying in corner then a part of me thinks, and probably, accurately, that he is weakling. He has no male pride. But I don't see how it will help him to tell him that so I prefer to lend firm hand, help him up, and encourage to raise his chin and ask him what is troubling him. Then if he has bullies or something in school, I want to teach him to gracefully avoid fight when possible -- and gracefully is not running away or losing our space. Gracefully to me is keeping our space and ground. And also this is how you throw a jab and why jab is important to distract your opponent and how to deliver hook with power from hips, not shoulders.
The truth about pride is that its useless. The truth about male vs female mentalities is that its just a stereotype.
Crying isn't a weakness, being so wrapped up in what others think of you, that you don't have the courage to express yourself, is a weakness.
You help him by asking why he is crying, and seeing if you can suggest or offer a solution to the problem like you mentioned.
My thinking is that I can't change the environment around him. I agree that this should not be stigmatized but he was stigmatized for it. So I don't want him to be hurt in the process while I wait for the culture to catch. That is why I like the concept of lending him firm hand and encourage him to wipe away his tears, stand his ground, and in the worst-case scenario, throw some good punches.
* to catch up
The male physical features you describe in your attractive vs ugly statement aren't anything more than subjective opinion:
"strong shoulders, strong chest, strong jaw, good nose, good brow ridge, etc."
Those are unimportant things, some women prefer cute guys, some prefer hulking brutish guys, some prefer dad bods, some prefer lanky tall guys, its all personal preferences. Some like button noses, others like roman noses, you can't look st body shapes and say that A is better than B outside of ones that are bad for health like obesity or anorexia.
You seem to mistake your opinions for truths, while its true you have your opinions, be careful to not project them onto how others think.
I mostly look for features which require some strength; gifts or work. I am not expertise at this but, for example, I have very wide neck and broad jaw that gets complimented a lot. But I don't think it's genetic. I think it's mostly contact sports and especially all my years being sponsored and professional vert skateboarder. Fall with helmet from 20 feet+ many times a day tends to require neck to be thick and jaw to be strong and stable or else it breaks.
But I am admittedly sometimes confused between these lines of genetics and what we worked for -- not just with respect to looks but also intellectual ability, musical ability, artistic ability, verbal ability, etc.
* I lack expertise at this
I am hard determinist though so I realize probably no one really worked for this in my view. Even Einstein was just born to be Einstein. So he is not special at all, he was just born that way. But I think despite being born that way, he had so many hardships and he put a lot of work into becoming the Einstein we know now. I can't compare so well -- so I try to be nice and just praise Einstein even though he was probably just born that way.
I tend to favor traits that result in longevity, intelligence, and creativity. Sports and body building and fighting tend to work against that.
Also Albert Einstein didn't talk until he was 4, he aged poorly, and general relativity is at least partially wrong. He also built something that killed a lot of innocent people instead of just the ones who were attacking. He did a lot of good for science and technology advancement though, which down the line ended up saving a lot more lives than he took. He, along with just about everyone, make mistakes in life. Thats just part of existing.
Straight up mind control.
Assuming that would be even feasible. Disregarding that? I don't know.
Mind control is arguably the worst form of evil. Or at least it would be if it were possible, thankfully it's not.
Oh yeah I remember having this conversation with you. I would love to be an omnipotent dictator and straighten things out.
Omnipotence is impossible because its self contradictory, if it were possible, you wouldn't need to be a dictator, because everyone would be able to know everything, so no one would disagree on how anything should be done outside of personal preferences. People would separate into preference based regions without leaders and that would be that.
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