I ended up having a crush on my uni professor but he's married and I'm trying to get over him. But it's kind of proving to be difficult. Any tips?

[Anonymous]

This person also happens to be 13 years my senior

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was 17 when I got a crush on my Criminal Law professor who was 34 at that time.

Everyone thought we had some kind of relationship because we flirted obviously during his lectures and I was his favorite.

However we didn’t have any relationship, he once offered me to work in his office but I laughed it off.

Then one day during the lecture we had an argument about the topic of criminal law, he said I reminded him of his wife when she was younger.

That’s when I learned he had a wife.

And I took my distance and no longer flirted. However l, once I asked him to change university schedule because I could not attend his classes on Saturdays and I asked him to change it into Tuesdays. He did that! Haha

I felt so proud, no one knew why he changed and I knew it was because of me, because he wanted me to be there.

Then we worked together in court, he was the judge at that point and I was a trainee to another judge, we were very happy everytime we came across each other, I once was so happy, when I saw him in court on my first day of work, that run and hugged him. That was all.

I had a crush on him for a long time. But none of us acted on it.

[Gentleman900]

I find that EXTREMELY hard to believe. Nice storyline tho.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Gentleman900 It’s okay. If I wanted to make up a story I guess I could make up more easily believable one…

[Asker]

I didn't know that he was married when I started liking him, he doesn't wear his ring in class, I've never seen him with it on, so I relate to you. When I found that he was married I was so crushed 💀 but I'm not an immoral person so like you I didn't and won't act on what I feel

[Asker]

I'm glad you were able to get over him especially with him paying thus much attention to you as well.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You’ll get over too. You’ll meet your man someday.

At the age of 22 I met my first real love. And I was so happy for all the other failed potential relationships in the past. Because if not them I wouldn’t be where I was when I met my first love.

[Asker]

Thats so sweet, thanks for sharing 💛

[catiecatie]

He’s married. Don’t go after the taken ones. Married or seeing someone shouldn’t be a home wrecker! Also don’t go after the recently divorced guys. They won’t stay as well. To get over him go out and find a guy around your age. Can be a couple years older, but girl don’t think about him!

[Asker]

Yea its my last semester with him so it'll be easier to get over him xc

[catiecatie]

Perfect! Then you can do it. Don’t worry about it just get a good grade in the class, without doing anything with that man, then you don’t have to see that guy ever again!

[Asker]

Yesss! This reinforcement was much needed 😭

[SnowedIn]

Such a great question.

In some ways, you'll never get over him. And that's okay.

As for what to do, you have to be deliberate about choosing to do things that help you not think about him. The idea isn't to erase him from your memory -- that doesn't happen/isn't possible. The idea is to do [fill in the blank] so that he's not your first thought.

So, be deliberate about doing the things you love to do. Work out. Run. Spend time with friends where talk won't be that class or the professor. Do the little things that bring you joy: fresh coffee, petting a cat, walking in a park, a new box of markers -- lots of little things that bring you joy in a day will add up and keep your mind off of him. In time his memory and and the pain will fade.

You'll still occasionally think of him -- that's human -- but you can tamp that back down.

Best wishes -- I understand. It's really hard.

[Asker]

Thanks for understanding 😭, its honestly been really hard, but I think I'm slowly getting there!

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

[Asker]

No worries! 💛

[Flight1]

Morals. You either have respect for other peoples families or your don’t.

[sage2021]

Just keep saying to yourself over and over in your head"He is unavailable to me".

[Asker]

Yea that should get rid of my delusions, will do!

[fonduegirl]

He'd retire before you. You'd have to become his nurse, if it works out.

[Asker]

Noted 💀

[fonduegirl]

That's funny?

[Asker]

Not in particular 🤔

[fonduegirl]

Then why the skull emoji

[Asker]

I don't know it seemed appropriate 🥲

[fonduegirl]

All right

[Anonymous]

Time will heal. You just have to wait it out.

[Asker]

Yea I guess there's no easy say out haha

[SolitaireBlonde]

He’s married. That’s all you need to know to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Having a crush on him is never wrong. Just never act on it ever

[Asker]

Yea I'd never do that to him or his family

[Iron_Man]

Get over it he’s married

[mommymommymommy]

You need to get out more

[In_Trance]

meet someone else

[Anonymous]

Give him blowjob...