Ex Co-worker and I used to text a lot before our job decided to close. She'd sometimes text me from when we were there (9 am) to when we'd close (5 pm). Conversations went well etc. Made her laugh and what have you. Her boyfriend worked with us and it seemed like she wasn't really interested in him. I mean, they'd eat lunch in the same office, and often when a co-worker or I would walk past their office, they would be on their phones not even talking to each other. We used to talk about a year ago before she quit. I asked her out back then not realizing she had a boyfriend. She agreed to go but then flaked the day we were supposed to go out. She got hired 7~ months before we closed. She would call me into her office to ask me dumb work-related questions she could ask anyone.. literally. Then she texted my phone on my day off once to ask me a work-related question and since then we've been texting her and there. When it was our day off, she wouldn't say anything. The last time she texted me was Monday. Asked me how my new job was and what I think she should name her arts & crafts business. She showed me a couple of items she made. I think the convo went well. I just kind of wanna text her but I don't know if I should wing it or just let it be? She did add me on Facebook out of the blue Sunday.
Double texting someone that's gotta boyfriend. Bad idea isn't it?
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Just let it be. You know she’s taken and she’s generally spoken to you about work only. Notice how she doesn’t text or talk outside of work except about a hobby which is a harmless conversation. My guess is that she’s a very sweet, probably soft-spoken young woman and doesn’t realize any harm in what she’s doing, then if it’s brought to her attention by her spouse she corrects it. Like you inviting her to hang out, it’s likely she genuinely thought is was a friendly thing until telling her boyfriend about it and he’s like “nah babe he’s trying to ask you on a date, I’m not comfortable with you hanging out with men in that way”, which prompted her to cancel.
Also, how they interact at work isn’t disinterest, it’s just mindful. What could they appropriately do in the workplace to relay they are a couple? Kissing and touching? All in each others face? That behavior makes sense in the novelty of a new relationship but once two people get comfortable there’s no need for PDA when they can do that at home. So they’re scrolling through their phones having separate lives at work, don’t read so deeply into it.