How do you express your emotions, particularly anger?

[msc545]

[Anonymous]

I usually get extremely quiet if I’m angry. I don’t lash out, I kind of take a step back and talk about the situation when everyone is cool calm and collective and actually WANT resolve things. If it’s a natural disaster.. I’ll get over it quite quickly, because life goes on.. or if I destroyed something precious by accident, I’ll be mad at myself, especially if it could have been prevented, and I’ll own up to my mistake and forgive myself..

[Opinion Owner]

What about you?

[Sweetsurprize]

I do it externally. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside. HOWEVER, maybe try to see if you're always TOO angry? Like my dad said.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have gone a long way to learn how to express my emotions in a right way.

I am rarely angry, I am usually very understanding and there are extremely rare things that truly anger me, I am working on them,

when I am a bit angry I try to show my point, and try to show another person why I am feeling this way and what we can do to solve it. But I try not to let myself feel angry, and I have a few tactics for that, I try to look at the things from another perspective, I try to imagine the people who anger me as little children and I am very protective of children and love them, so there’s no way I can get angry at them if I picture them as little children in the skin of older annoying people.

However, there were very rare but still times, when I felt intense emotions, at that time, I tried to get away from people and work my anger out alone. It’s better for both sides.

In the past, I had worse coping mechanisms, I think I didn’t have any coping mechanism at all,

that’s maybe because I was constantly exposed to violence,

one day, when my dad left to work, my grandma and her huge fat best friend started fighting with my mom, that best friend of my grandma, choked my mom unconscious right in front of my eyes, I got scared, I could either run in my room and hide or use my anger as a fuel to oppose two older women, I shouted at them to never touch my mom again and they said I should be quiet or they’ll hit my nose.

the first time I got very angry after that, it was with my uncle (he was just 12 years older than me), I never really liked him and I never knew why, but I never really liked him.
Maybe because he and his mom (grandma) always fought with my mom.

One day he broke my mom’s favorite souvenir.

I was very young, maybe 6. I knew my mom loved that souvenir and knowing that my grandma always oppressed my mom and my uncle always sided my grandma, I thought he did it on purpose to hurt my mother’s feelings and I had taken a responsibility to protect her when dad was gone.

I took that souvenir and when imagined how sad my mom would be, I got very angry, clutched that souvenir in my hand and when he tried to talk to me I tried to get rid off him and accidentally cut him with this broken souvenir. I didn’t mean to. But I did what I did.

Thankfully, it wasn’t serious and it only cut his finger a little.

I felt ashamed of myself.

Growing up, I learned some coping mechanisms, when I’d get angry, I’d lock myself up in a room, and wouldn’t leave until I was empty of anger.

I was writing poetry.

Funnily, my mom was laughing at me for writing poetry,

“Look, she got upset and writes poetry again.”
“We made her angry, now she’ll go write a poem and cry.”

I was thinking she was ungrateful, with the rage I had inside me, I thought I could do far worse things and yet, I tried to transform it into art, not hurting anyone or anything,

later on I confronted her and told her she can not laugh at me when I write a poetry. (At the very end though, I learned laughing at my own flaws too.)

Time by time, she started liking my poetry and started thinking I was amazing at writing it. And even though she was always critical of me, one day she told me “I realize you are one of the greatest poets I’ve ever heard of. Keep writing. You are born for that.”

Of course, I was really good at that, because I had so many feelings and energy in me, enough to fuel me to do anything I’d want.

At some point at 22, I was so happy I stopped writing.

It’s not good, because I was left without the safe outlet for my emotions and even though it was so rare, I even forgot that I ever had intense anger moments. It was still there in me like a sleeping volcano.

I think at that point I learned another lesson.

And that lesson kind of undressed me of my anger totally.

My ex has done lots of hurtful things to me, but at some point, I could no longer get angry, because I promised myself I would rather get hurt than to ever hurt a person I loved, I would not let anger take the best of me ever, I would forgive him no matter what.

It ended up bad for me though, because I was left hurt and heartbroken.

Better way would be if I set boundaries and not thinking that I was showing my love by enabling him to hurt me and not getting angry about it, I must have angry like any healthy individual would feel and I must have left. That’s what I would do today.

I think, currently if I ever feel angry, I write a little, read a book, meditate and get away from people.

I’ve not felt that angry for years.

I do still sometimes feel that but I realized, it’s mostly me - who can feed the anger. If you smile at it, instead of taking things personally, you’ll not feel angry.

You should stop feeding the anger, instead of concentrating on it, you should concentrate on - Why do you feel this way? And how to cope with that feeling and reach the peace of mind?

Being angry leads to more pain. It’s not going to heal you, it’s going to break you.

It’s going to hurt you more than anybody else.

So, what do I do when and if I get angry these days?

Nothing, I think of it for a while, express it in the safe aloneness of mine, feet a little bit of adrenaline and then let it go. It’s not worth to let it eat up my day.

I have far more enjoyable things to do and I have learned my lessons and I don’t plan to let my childhood decide who I am, I have a choice over my feelings and actions.

[Nikki1989]

I work through my problems and never unload them onto others.

[exitseven]

I try not to express anger. I am afraid of what might happen. I just use it as a way to produce adrenalin.

[Yucy_Gluttony]

I meditate, take a deep breath... I think IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? MAYBE IT IS MAYBE NOT WHAT COULD I DO DIFFERENTLY WHAT OUTCOME DO I WANT PEEP PEEP

[OfMiceandMen]

I tend to get quiet. Need to step away to process. Not interested in a heated argument.

[Wonderingguyy]

If I’m really angry, I usually shut down completely. My body language probably appears angry, but I don’t say a word.

[artgorgeous]

I try to hold it, but usually I sigh and roll my eyes.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I remain quiet to things blow over

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I pull myself away

Or just pour it all out, or not responding, or ignore it

[NathanDavis]

with my eyebrows

[SPIRIT208]

Punch a wall or hit the gym

[HMZ444]

Workout

[Jmmmfi4]

By writing