How Often Do You... ?

[AviatorTom]

It's Simple Saturday... time for a simple question.

How Often do you... ?

Be creative, and fill in the blank.

[purplepoppy]

Wonder what that company actually does. You know the type, huge building, clearly employs lots of people but no one actually knows anyone who works there. Zero clue in it's name on the building, if it even has one. Doesn't seem to produce anything yet there it is with all lights on seen but unnoticed by the thousands that pass it daily without questioning it's existence.

[AviatorTom]

@purplepoppy This is very insightful.

[Cynicaldreamer]

"... care about what other people think about you?"

[Hawkes_Lady]

@Cynicaldreamer When I was younger, I worried all the time about what everyone else thought about me; how I looked, my weight, if I had a dirty spot on my clothes, were my clothes in style, was my makeup or hair just right? To be honest, I cared so much about what others thought that it made me miserable.

When I got to be about 35 years old, I got to a point in my life where I was tired of worrying about whether or not other people liked what they saw when they looked at me.

Now, I don't care if you don't like what you see. You think I'm too fat, don't look. You think that I'm ugly, don't look. My clothing isn't fashionable enough, don't look. You think I should wear makeup or more/less makeup, don't care. I was not put on this planet to please and make you happy. I am more worried now about making my life the best I can for me, what makes me happy, and what makes me feel good.

[Sonorous]

Not very often tbh. But like I explained in another opinion, when I do, I pray that @Joker_ will stop getting absolutely, completely & utterly mogged by everyone he comes across in his day to day life.

[Sonorous]

Him on the left:

https://ibb.co/9TsMmQy

[Joker_]

you can be sure your prayers are valued and appreciated!

[Joker_]

valued by no one and appreciated by no one lol

[Sonorous]

[Joker_]

who's the guy in the blue red bodysuit? did he take both pills

[Sonorous]

Oh yeah that's just me. I don't know what you mean by pills 🤔 But some years back, I was exposed to the black suit. Never doing that again! I noticed it was changing my mindset for the worse! Also I got a weird haircut that oddly worked for the dorky but cool persona I was playing. Anyway, now I'm more normal with more wisdom so I think these colors suit me best.

[Joker_]

true that

[OlderAndWiser]

How often do you ask questions which challenge other users to examine their own behavior?

[Hawkes_Lady]

@OlderAndWiser I would hope more often than not, but I don't know that for sure. Great question though, really got me to thinking about what kind of questions I am asking!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[OfMiceandMen]

I often go for a kayak or canoe on the bay. Pretty much every evening.

[AnusNdaPainus]

How often do you cry?

like maybe once every 10 years

[Hawkes_Lady]

@AnusNdaPainus I cry more often than I would like. I am a highly sensitive person and that means that if I read or watch something sad or sentimental, I will cry. If I write something sad or sentimental, I will cry. I can cry watching a TV commercial, TV show, or movie. I have cried many times over something I've read in a book, magazine, newspaper, or on the internet.

Those ASPCA Sarah McLachlan commercials do it to me every time.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@Hawkes_Lady I’m always sad or angry and hurt

time doesn’t heal wounds , Life just teaches us to live with the pain

That being said I’m still human and every now and again I have to let it out

Society puts a lot of pressure on men to keep our emotions in check but sometimes it’s unbearable

[Hawkes_Lady]

@AnusNdaPainus I too, am always sad, angry, and hurt. I have been for a very long time. I don't know your reasons, but I'll tell you my story.

When I was 9 years old my mother's boyfriend started sexually abusing me. At first, I didn't say anything because I was scared and ashamed. After a few months of the abuse, I went to my mother and she said, and I quote, "Shut up you little brat, you're just trying to break me and him up. Go to your room!". I never said another thing about it. Within weeks of the abuse starting, I found out that he wasn't just abusing me, but also his daughter who was a year younger than me, and her brother who was two years older than me. My first introduction to porn movies was him putting one on the tv and telling the three of us kids to do what the people in the movie were doing and when we didn't, he force us. This lasted until I was 13 and my mother broke up with him and we moved away. We kids, the three amigos, stayed in contact with each other until my two amigos couldn't live with the pain anymore and they committed suicide.

[Hawkes_Lady]

@AnusNdaPainus Continued Reply...

When I was 15 years old, my mother remarried. And she could always pick the winners, she could. She married a man who had been investigated and found guilty of molesting his two-year-old niece years before meeting my mother. My mother, with a 9-year-old and a 15-year-old, jumped into marriage with him. About 5 months after they got married he and his adult son came into my room while my mother was out (not that I think she would have stopped it if she'd been home).

My new stepfather told me to sit on the bed and then the next thing I knew the son was pinning my shoulders to the bed and my step-daddy was ripping my clothes off while he told me that if I didn't fight them they wouldn't have to hurt me. Well, that first time I fought and they made sure that it hurt. My stepfather was the one in charge. He told us what he wanted to watch and the son did what he was told. I quickly figured out that, the son didn't want to be there either but he couldn't stand up to his father. He told me that if I didn't fight him and did what his father wanted he would do his best to make it feel as good as he could. Honestly, I think that messed me up more than fighting would have. Because at 15 your body is ready to experiment with sex and your body responds to stimuli even if you don't want to be doing what you are doing or having done to you. So, I didn't want to do it, but most of it was pleasurable, as long as I didn't fight it. Is that still sexual abuse then? Although it was very gross to know and be able to see my stepfather sitting off to the side of us masturbating. This lasted 2 years until I was 17 years old when my mother left him, but not because of the abuse to me. I never told her about the abuse... why would I after the way she responded the last time I told her?

[Hawkes_Lady]

@AnusNdaPainus Continued Reply...

When I was 24 years old I tried to have a relationship, but it had it's problems. I ignored red flags because I didn't think that I deserved anything better. For the most part, he taught me a lot about sex. But looking back, I see that he never cared about me, he was in it strictly because I would let him do anything he wanted. One night, he positioned me for what I thought was going to be doggy, he stuck his finger into me and then his penis, but then he slid his fingers through my butt crack, and then he rammed himself in my anus to the hilt. I had never done that and it felt like he ripped me open. I cried and tried to push him away. I tried dropping my hips down to get him out of me, but he just grabbed my hips lifted me back up, and kept going until he came inside of me. I don't know if he thought my sounds were enjoyment or if he just didn't care.

Now, that being said, even though I feel like he raped me that night, I'd been trained from past experiences that sex was painful and that men take what they want so I didn't leave him and after the first few times where it was painful but not as painful as the first time, I learned that it did feel good and that it is actually the fastest way to get me to orgasm.

After a year of dating him, I got a call from the police telling me that I needed to come pick up my vehicle because the guy I was dating was going to jail. After which he went to prison and then he was deported back to his country of origin because he'd come into the country illegally.

[Hawkes_Lady]

@AnusNdaPainus Continued Reply...

So, I understand being sad, angry, and hurt all the time. I've never figured out how to move past what happened to me. And I find it very hard to trust a man to not hurt me, and when he does hurt me I take the blame on myself that I am somehow at fault. I feel shame and guilt, and I feel dirty for all that has happened to me. And I still question why. Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

But, I really would like to find a man that I am comfortable with and that I can trust to never hurt me, that will hold me, comfort me, and love me unconditionally.

[AnusNdaPainus]

@Hawkes_Lady Like I said all you can do is keep living and understand that “hurt people hurt people” I’ve had similar experiences with women , teachers and my older sister but I never bothered to tell anyone because they wouldn’t care “ I’m a boy I must’ve liked it or wanted it” but the world we live in is full of evil people who want to steal from others what someone took from them

Don’t let them break you. You’re here today and you endured it all because you are strong. Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.

[Hawkes_Lady]

@AnusNdaPainus I hope that you take to heart what you have said to me. I am slowly healing myself. I don't live in the past nearly as much as I used to. I chose to not live in the deep dark hole that others pushed me into for a very long time. It scares me still to try to have a relationship with a man, but I am here and I am talking to men. That is an improvement from before, the next step is actually talking to a man in person. Here online it is easy because they can't physically touch you, in person in scarier, but I will figure out how to take that step because I want to have a relationship with a man. I want to be loved and love them back.

Good luck, and remember to not let them break you either. You didn't ask for others to abuse you and they didn't have a right to touch you. You didn't ask for it any more than I did. Everyone deserves to be happy! Everyone deserves to be held and loved by someone! Hang in there and show the abusers that no matter what they do to us, we are stronger than them and we will find our way out!

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

How often do you find the true motive behind questions on GAG?

[Hawkes_Lady]

How often do you masturbate?

[Sparkie460]

How often do you take time to smell the roses

[Hawkes_Lady]

@sparkie460 I have to admit that pre-pandemic, I didn't stop to smell the roses all that often, nor did I take the time to look around me and appreciate the world around me.

Now, since the pandemic... I often take the time to stop and really open my eyes and look for the beauty around me. I look for the tiny blooming flower that is just ground cover. I stop and take a photograph of the perfect dandelion that before I would have ignored as just another weed.

That weed became very important to me about 6 months into the pandemic when I would sit and watch the news and they would give me a horrendously high number of new infections and death totals from Covid-19. I became horrifically depressed, I was losing interest in everything until one day I was out walking my dog and I saw the most beautiful rose that I had ever seen. I snapped a photo of it on my phone, as well as a couple of other flowers I found along our way.

When I got home, I posted it on Facebook and told my friends about my walk that morning with my dog. My friends wrote comments thanking me for showing them such lovely flowers and making them forget for just a few minutes about the horrible things happening to all of us around the world at the moment. From that day forward to this day, I take my dog for his walk every morning and I take photos of all the pretties I find and then I come home and post them on my Facebook telling my friends about our walk and reminding them that the world is a beautiful place if you take the time to open your eyes and look for the beauty around you.

[Sparkie460]

It's amazing the things that you can see when you just open your eyes and look around you isn't it.

[Hawkes_Lady]

@sparkie460 Yes, it truly is amazing to me just how much I was missing all around me. I am sorry for all those people who had their lives cut short by Covid, but in a way, I am thankful for Covid because it made me start looking for the beauty around me which I would have without the pandemic. I would still be blind to all the wonderful things around me.

[exitseven]

Usually I do it on an as needed basis.

[Joker_]

fairly often