Why is it worse if a man is a jerk to us vs if we were total biotches to a man?

[Danielle93]

I'm all for calling out bad, trashy behavior on both genders. No one deserves to get humiliated and treated poorly. However, people tend to react differently.

I once saw a guy humiliating a young woman to the point she was on the verge of tears (both seem 18-20 years old) and not even his good friends took his side. Before I was about to say anything, he was already getting called out on his bs by both genders. No one found it funny.

Switch things around and if it's the woman doing that to a young man... and the young man walks away humiliated, less people call her out on her trashy behavior. Why is it worse when a man does that vs if we were doing that?

Updates

+1 y

I find it interesting that if the man is the wrong and is a total jerk to us, even other men themselves called him out on his BS. If some girl is nasty, she doesn't get called out too much.

[Lliam]

I saw a social experiment video in which two actors (a man and a woman) went out in public. When the man shouted at the woman, grabbed her arm, and acted abusively, all kinds of people stepped in to stop him. Some even threatened him with violence.
But when the two switched rolls and the woman did the same thing to the man, even hitting him, people just walked by and some even chuckled.
They thought a man should be able to defend himself from a woman. But it's also possible that nobody wanted to tangle with an out of control psycho bitch because they could get in serious trouble for touching her.

Anyway, there is a double standard. It is really cruel to humiliate people in the way you described. It's not funny. It can cause permanent psychic harm. And men are just as susceptible as women.

It is particularly hard on men because they are the ones who have to put themselves out there. If they get humiliated like that by a woman, they will be less likely to approach any more women for fear of the same reaction, and they will stop trying. They may wind up feeling that they are grotesque or otherwise too unattractive to find a partner.
Whereas, on the other hand, a woman who gets similarly humiliated will certainly wind up with low self-esteem but, chances are, she will still get approached by men. Besides, as you said, people will usually defend a woman and try to make her feel better when someone mistreats her, while people are less likely to defend a man. They will more likely be like...

[razelove]

Honestly because we as men can destroy you if it turns that way. As women, if you take it too far, one jab to the face and you're out. It's an extreme example in modern society, but looking at a timeline of people as a whole, it isn't that far removed. It's only 12000 years ago that we started planting plants. Maybe 60-70 years of widespread residential electricity.

Regardless of how things progress I think there will always be a crowd of Captain save a hoes trying to gain favor and the off chance of getting lucky.

[Danielle93]

Yet if a woman makes up a false allegation such as sexual assault or accuses him of molestation, screaming and false tears and he gets locked up or he gets fired from his job, she pretty much destroyed his life right there.

[Danielle93]

She can destroy him too.

[razelove]

Yes, that's the product of men rushing to the defense of women. Your thinking is still locked into crying passively as well. There is this invention called the gun that came out a couple hundred years ago. It makes a 4'10" 100 pound woman have the same lethality as a 6'5" 300 pound bruiser.

I don't worry about any allegations, I have no bigger perspective to be destroyed, and fleeing the country is completely a valid strategy. Of course I'd go scorched Earth on whoever put me in that situation to lose my comfort first, but whatever. It's all perspective.

[Cutegirl06]

It's double standards that really need to change. I hate it when a girl/ woman think that they can just humiliate a guy and think it's funny!!

[Rorroto]

I am not a gender abolitionist and think it often makes sense to treat men and women quite differently, and this is one of those examples. The way I see it, the world is a more dangerous place for women than men, so when men are cruel to women, that's a safety concern for the women. When women are cruel to men, all that does is hurt the man's feelings, without also being a safety concern.

Both are wrong, but I might actually scare the woman by insulting her a lot.

It's bad both ways, but I can think of more circumstances in which women might do it for defensive reasons than men might, and more circumstances in which men might view it as playful fun than women might.

I feel similarly about casual threats of violence. When women do that I'm more likely to think, "You're being a childish drama queen," and when men do that I'm more likely to think, "Ah shit... this person might actually be dangerous."

I wouldn't mind higher age of consent laws for women than men either. I understand there are a lot of advantages to not making assumptions about people due to their sex or gender... but I think it's best to keep in mind that there are also a lot of advantages to making some assumptions about people due to their sex and gender. I hope we don't forget that as a society as we become steadily closer to gender abolitionism.

[JacobJordan]

Because women are emotional. Women argue emotionally. Women buy emotionally. Everything a woman does is from an emotional standpoint. As a result when women are mean to guys we just ignore it because we can very rapidly compartmentalize and realize we don't give a singular fuck what she is saying. However because men are more logical we can very quickly pinpoint specific things to say to cause the most emotional damage rather like finding a chink in armor. So when men are mean they do so with calculation so it designed to hurt. When women are mean they just go at it like a 3 year old and start throwing random shit hoping something lands.

[Anonymous]

Because despite rise of women's equality over the years women are STILL considered a minority. Women still have to fight twice as hard to get same pay and respect as a man.

So SOME women knowing this will use this to their advantage. They'll play up the weak, marginalized minority angle. And rthose people who more sensitive to their plight will consider her a victim. Even in reality she's quite predatory. Men in general are the stronger gender. So women exercise their mind social interactions. And women who are predatory plays this game to WIN!

[rigmarole]

In order to believe it's worse for you to be treated a particular way as a woman than for a man to be treated the same way is an open admission that women are inferior. Thus men have to be held to a higher standard because women are less than men, they are weak, they are stupid, so on and so forth and can't handle the same things men can.

[IronPhoenix]

Because due to 60+ years of feminism telling women they are never wrong about anything most women have lost all introspection. At the same time for the last 60+ years feminism has also been teaching women that men are never right about anything therefore anything bad that happens to them is justified.

[Bob92220]

I know some men who would pay a woman money so that she would bitch him out. He would pay her money for her to spank him, yell at him, pull his hair, etc.

[aceleon]

because woman is the gender who has it better all your life you are protected by someone whileifyou are a guy you are your own protector.

[Anonymous]

can't really say, but bitchy, bossy women are a turn on to me, especially if they slap my face!

[jimmy2]

You so wright they are toxic