Jerks vs Gentleman?

[Peopleschamp]

First of all, I didn't know what else to title this lol. Anyways, throughout my life, I've noticed that some men who are legit terrible people not to women, but to men as well, always have girlfriends.

I remember in highschool, almost all the men who had a REPUTATION for being players and were well known for being assholes to everybody, men and women alike, had girlfriends, and never had a problem finding a new one after a break up. No joke. Why? I still see this trend today. The women never cared though because the guys were popular and had status though.

It does seem like being a more gentleman like type of dude gets you no where romantically with women. What do you all think? Why is this? I should also note that a lot of women associate nice/polite/gentleman with boring? I guess it just amazes me that terrible human beings who treat people like crap are ATTRACTIVE to girls, I guess I'm just missing something.

Anyways, let me know what you think!

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to mention, SO MANY women on here who ask about whether to break up with a dude or even pursue a guy, describe these dudes as being awful to them, and yet they still have to ask on whether to stay away from these guys, like, come on, if there's a fire, stay away or get burned lol

[RJGraveyTrain]

I need a guy who can treat me well but be an asshole when it's necessary.

The reason why gentlemanly men by the internet's standards don't succeed with women is because they are often either over the top or they mistake being a total ass kisser with being a gentleman. Which isn't attractive. While being assertive and unwavering (a "jerk") is much more endearing.

However, for me personally I don't want a guy who is nothing but a gentleman and nothing but a jerk by their truest definitions. First of all: the old school gentlemanly thing can be awkward, I'll be honest in saying I'm awkward and kinda crude so while I appreciate a dude being nice I feel uncomfortable if he has to m'lady every two seconds, insist on paying for everything and open every door for me. It feels like he thinks he has to try way too hard to be with me. The basic stuff is fine but don't feel pressured.

I also wouldn't put up with a jerk for obvious reasons: he's a jerk and I can't stand that shit. However what I do appreciate is guy that can treat me well and also be a dick when life calls for it - because it does sometimes. I even need him to be an asshole to me when I get out of line. It has yet to be necessary in my current relationship (I'm rather logical and level headed) but I have had moments in my life where I needed to be told to shut the fuck up in order to realize how off kilter I was being.

Basically what this long diatribe is intended to say is: women love a balanced man.

[Peopleschamp]

Interesting do you think that being balanced is easier said than done? For myself, I actually find it hard to be rude or I guess be a dick on purpose, so a lot of girls just consider me guy to tell all their problems to but not date.

[RJGraveyTrain]

You don't have to be rude per se but be able to stand your ground.

[Peopleschamp]

I see, thanks for you response

[RJGraveyTrain]

Thanks for mhgal

[bananabitvh]

Hmm this is a funny one which I don't even think us females can answer.. I mean you could just rule it down to science? And say how people are attracted to certain types purely for reproductive reasons, but if you wanted to get more into depth, maybe because it's just more.. fun? I'm not at all saying the gentlemen type are boring, but I don't know, some girls like not knowing what could happen next.

A couple years ago I was head over heals for this one particular boy and he played me time and time again, and every time, I came crawling back. Two years on and I'm in the happiest relationship with him now, we have both changed and developed in ways I couldn't imagine soooo most of those guys don't stay arseholes forever ygm?

[Peopleschamp]

interesting, where does this leave 'gentleman' though? Are they more often than not the "second choice'to most women behind jerks?

[bananabitvh]

No of course not, like I said, some people are just attracted to the certain type. I know lots of girlies who would much rather go for the gentlemen type, purely because they like it simple and safe

[Peopleschamp]

I see, I appreciate your input

[MikkiM]

I think out of the choices..

Jerks- are somehow cool, but it show hard to be around them
Gentleman-are great, but hard to be around them

both are hard to be with

But i only know

if a girl pursues a guy despise his personality
then that guy is something interesting or special enough for her

To be loved or like, You dont need to be a jerk,.. to be attractive to girls
You dont have to act gentleman.. if you can't be honest enough yourself

but its better if you can be you
Know that your someone special
Not a jerk, but attractive
Be a gentleman, but not boring

I think that out-powers ALL JERK and GENTLEMAN IN THE WORLD :3

-BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF

[Phoenix98]

Well you have to remember being crass never netted anyone who wasn't famous or rich a woman.

But you have to be able to actually discern a gentleman from a nice guy because an actual gentleman is no pushover they'll get down and dirty like the word of em if they have to.

[Jazzy_Youtube]

I personally believe that chivalry and gallantry is dead, and all of those types of girls don't seem to care. Most of those kinds of girls also are only looking for a status, while others just do it for sex. It's a mixed up world with twisted people.

[Peopleschamp]

it does makes sense if they do it to gain status from other people, good point

[Anonymous]

Most jerks are manly and "alpha". Most nice guys are kind of shy and not very manly.
Instinctively, women look for an "alpha" male who will be able to protect them. Therefore they end up dating douches.

[Peopleschamp]

So you believe it would make sense then that a lot of guys no longer want to be a nice guy?

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely. I've seen many nice guys wanting nothing more than to make their girl happy being treated like trash. Not saying they should become jerks or that I want them to, but I would understand their choice.

[Peopleschamp]

thanks for that perspective

[Anastasiya00]

gentleman all the way. But a misogynist in the bed hahahahhahahha

[Peopleschamp]

So how would you suggest approaching a girl since a lot of guys seem to get rejected even if their approach is respectful

[Anastasiya00]

I think the mistake men young gentlemen do is that they approach, yes respectfully, but for some reasons for girls might feel it too cheesy. I think if you want to approach a girl you can do it in a more casual way. Like a friend. And that way she might not feel like you are taking things too fast...

If that still doesn't work and you see girls who only go with guys who treat them disrespectfully, those are the girls who might be looking for nothing serious or a one night stand haha.

If a girl simply keeps rejecting you even if you are nice, it doesn't mean she likes jerks, it may simply be she likes gentlemen, but simply is not interested in you, as an individual, for any other reason.

You stick to your morals :)

[LaFemmeFatale]

Of course, gentleman.
All the guys I've had things before were gentlemen.

[SunsetLover]

I don't know but I personally prefer gentlemen.

[ToruMatsuda]

Like it or not people love drama and

[Kakaky]

Nice guys