Do men generally have it harder raising a daughter than a son?

[Anonymous]

My supervisor has a 13 year-old girl and a 9 year-old boy. Even though he loves them both equally, he admits that it can be harder raising a girl than a boy and is more protective towards her. He said it had something to do with worrying about many bad guys breaking her heart when she gets older vs just correcting his son.

He said ''If the jerk is my son well at least that's my jerk. I'll knock some sense into him and teach him values and how to be a gentleman. Sadly with my girl, I have to worry about other jerks.''

Yes

No

[Sixgunsound]

Before we get started, some housekeeping: as the only male in a household of four, I am aware that girls and women’s issues exist.

Boys that are jerks had fathers that didn’t exert enough effort, or who were kicked out of the house by the mother. It’s a lot of responsibility raising a child either way, there are differences but difficulty is not one of them. Parents tend to put more effort into daughters than sons, so from that standpointIt might be more difficult with a daughter, but that is a self-imposed difficulty not an actual difficulty.

Societies that have or do practice imperialism cannot for their own sake be more attached to their sons than their daughters, because that would interfere with male disposability. That is fundamentally incompatible with the long term survival of a nation. Men have the privilege to work longer hours at shittier jobs, die earlier, more frequently by their own hand, get raped in Family Court, and get ripped out of their young adult years to go die in some oligarchs pissing contest. Men have the privilege to go down with the ship. Men have the privilege to get longer sentences for the same crimes. Men have the privilege to get arrested for the same unsolicited advances that women make in bars and clubs consequence free. Boys have the privilege to do worse in a school setting which is custom built for female success at their expense. Boys have the privilege as men to claw their way to the top of an annually shrinking Mount Hypergamy over the backs of their fellow men to have a chance at reproductive sexcess.

I’d be ok with the draft if every man who got drafted was able to draft a woman to impregnate before leaving for deployment. What’s that you say? My body my choice? Imagine that. It sucks when you actually don’t own your body.

Raising children at all is difficult, but when society tells fathers just put a sports jersey on him and throw a ball around for a bit while ignoring all of these glaring issues of boys who are still children at age 26, the fathers who do put in the time and effort are sending their child into the lion’s den wearing bacon boxers. The fathers who don’t put in the effort have likely introduced their sons to a life of enslavement to the welfare state, the MGTOW movement, or a life of unearned corporate or political ease.

[ChrisMaster69]

I think either has their own issue.

A lot comes down to the individuals.

i am a single dad and have not really had any issues.

She has been taught from an early age just how tough the real world is and how childhood is a training ground for the real world.

my ex taught her stuff related to her experience, which is from working on cars, changing engines, tyres etc.

I’ve taught her social interaction, social engineering basically, what to look for and stuff.

she’s picked up street skills from both of us and her friends.

Various ex girlfriends have left their mark on her, such as marital arts type of thing.

To me it’s about being realistic, not trying to be overly protective, not sugar coating stuff, factual information goes a long way.

Also treat them with respect as young adults, they have a part to play and a voice to be listened to, far to many adults fail to listen to their kids.

be open, be factual, be there and stand back when you have to, give them love and let them know that no matter what they can talk to you about anything and you never judge or worse are a bigot.

[muscularbumblebee]

I can speak from my personal experience in the sense where I was raised by my father and father alone. But also friends in general.. overall I agree for few different reasons.


Firstly there are few things men will struggle with when teaching girls first things that come to mind is eg. Periods, sex and certain things harder to relate to, another thing is that usually men don’t like to encourage the whole ‘talk about your feelings’ thing. Like when I grew up for instance It was always that way, if I had to cry then my father wouldn’t want to hear it. Not to say men aren’t as emotional just not as open about it. I’m sure if a mother were to raise a son she would also struggle as opposite genders in general are harder to relate to. Then there’s the overprotectiveness of a father for a daughter.. who are you seeing? Which guy? etc etc. But don’t get me wrong raising kids in general are difficult whether not or girl.

[peace1591]

Emotionally speaking, no..
Practically yes!!
Whatever or however you say, it'll be as difficult as impossible for a father to fulfill a mother's need in a girl's life!
They can be close, love each other, spend time with each other but at some point she'll definitely need a mother figure in life.

[SweetFyter]

Not having daughters OR sons - and not being a Dad now nor will I ever be, I probably shouldn't even answer. BUT, I did (surprise). But just watching how my dad is with me and with my brothers, I don't feel like he's any more concerned about me (as the only girl) than he is about my brothers. I think he's VERY fair and treats us all alike - except MAYBE I get more kisses because I AM a lot cuter than any of them, after all!!!

But, seriously, I don't think it's any harder for my dad to have me versus my brothers.

But, if you ask if it's harder for MOMS to raise a son than a daughter, then I have a different answer because, from MY viewpoint, Mom is a LOT LOT LOT more stressed with me than with my bros. And it's not because I'm some wild child - we live on a farm and home-school so it's not like she doesn't know what we all (my bros and I) are doing pretty must all of most days. Yet, she has an entirely different set of rules for me compared to them. So, from MY perspective, men don't have the problem with daughters, women do!

[ChrisMaster69]

@SweetFyter yeah agree with that

[MrOracle]

Kids need BOTH parents. There will always be things that only a man or only a woman can teach a child. And men and women relate to so many things differently, and it's incredibly valuable and important for children to get both perspectives.

Mom will teach you how to be kind and polite. Dad will teach you how to be tough and resilient. Mom is going to help you navigate social situations and dad is going to help you learn to change a tire. Those are things everyone needs. And of course there are more gender-specific questions that one or the other will be much better suited to handle.

[shaysh87]

thats so sexist. Not all dads are tough and resilient. Not all moms are kind. My mother wasn't kind. My father wasn't tough in any way shape or form. what is it with your sexist "gender role" assumptions?

[JessieBellll]

@shaysh87 exactly, but I know him and he's pretty sexist in general and tries to group people by their gender

[shaysh87]

@JessieBellll

he's wants to start a gender war here because he is triggered by the fact that single women can have kids and many can successfully raise kids on their own. Not all single moms are poor, under poverty, uneducated. A lot of them are financially stable and have everything they need. This angers him cuz it makes the male gender feel unimportant.

[JessieBellll]

@shaysh87 he also doesn't mind old women having sex with little boys

[shaysh87]

@JessieBellll

I think its the other way around. He doesn't mind if 70 yr old men are marrying 18 yr old girls.

[DWornock]

It is not so much that father have knowledge about some things that mother don't or vice versa. It is that they have outlooks. Fathers tend to install confidence and self-esteem; mothers tend to be overly protective. A father my toss his little girl high in the air and catch her. The little girl loves it but the mother is afraid he might drop her. If a boy get into a fight, the father encourages him to learn to fight. The mother want to intercede, protect him, and prevent them from fighting. At a playground, a father may encourage his little girl to play on jungle jim or push her high on a swing. The mother is concerned that she will get hurt.

[shaysh87]

@DWornock

My father never encouraged me to fight in schools. My mother was never caring, nurturing or loving. In fact, my father was the one who cared about me more than my mother. My mother loved my brother more over me. My father never tossed me in the air. My dad never played with me at all. He wasn't a lighthearted fun guy. My mother was a narcissist who hated me because I was more attractive and smarter than her. My mother was always concerned about her husband showing me more attention than her. So my father intentionally stopped doing things with me when I became a teenager.

The problem with married parents is one of the parents will always grow jealous if her husband spends more time with her daughter than her, especially if the daughter is more beautiful and attractive. Its a problem that is never addressed by society but one I'm sure exists in many households.

[JessieBellll]

@shaysh87 exactly just massive generalisations

[DWornock]

@shaysh87 Of course, like in your case, there are many exceptions but exceptions don 't establish the general rule. Also, there is so much difference in children. I was playing with couple of little girls. I grabbed the hands of this one and swung her around and around and she loved it. But she was tough or whatever. I grabbed the hands of the other girl, and immediately I knew not to swing her because it would hurt her wrist. I don't know how I knew, I just knew. I could feel the difference.

[shaysh87]

@DWornock

i dont think kids will miss out much just cuz there isn't a dad there to swing her around or throw her in the air. I was raised by parents who never did that and I turned out fine. In fact there are studies showing that single moms can raise equally as successful kids as heterosexual parents.

[shaysh87]

@DWornock

abcnews.go.com/.../story

"Those who grow up with single mothers with adequate socioeconomic resources tend to do well. The children of poor single mothers are more at risk," Biblarz says. "Many of the results that say that kids are at increased risk for negative outcomes have to do with economics."

According to the most recent data for 2007 from the U. S. Census, 8.4 million boys under 18 were living with a single mother. That's 22 percent of all boys in that age group in the USA.

Lamb says children do better if they have a good relationship with the in-home parent, as well as if the parents have low conflict; if the parent has economic resources; and if children have individual resilience to adverse circumstances.

"What's important is not whether they are raised by one or two parents. It's how good is the relationship with the parent, how much support they're getting from that parent and how harmonious is the environment.

[DWornock]

@shaysh87 I believe the older studies that show otherwise. Our current masters that own mainstream media are so full of propaganda and lies, that I don't trust anything by mainstream media. They have some weird agenda and will lie about facts in their so called studies.

[shaysh87]

@DWornock

The ideals of being raised by two parents is only a thing worshipped in western culture, not something that is worshipped by other countries. There have been research that kids raised by single moms coming from financially stable backgrounds tend to be as successful as kids raised by heterosexual parents. And many people don't like this because it threatens their old fashioned traditional American ideals.

A similar example would be trying to convince an old-fashioned elderly man from the 1950s about why premarital sex is not considered wrong. You're never ever gonna be able convince old fashioned people why premarital sex is not wrong. The ideals of virginity before marriage is deeply brainwashed into him.

[JuanVelasco3]

There are two factors specific to each sex that make their upbringing difficult, I will summarize it for you:

Boys need a lot of a father figure, they must learn to be mentally strong from a young age, so as not to be the target of bullying and be prepared to face the world, that is the most difficult part of raising men.

On the contrary, women do not need a father figure, because women never mature, but adolescent women are terribly unbearable, so you will have to discipline her from a young age so as not to have problems later. In conclusion I would say that it is more difficult to raise women, because adolescents womans are unbearable.

[DWornock]

Perhaps, in some cases, in their mid to upper teens. Otherwise, it is easier to raise a daughter because a daughter wants to please her father, especially a father that compliments his daughter because then she will work even harder for more compliments. It is mothers that have problems raising a daughter; not fathers.

[JessieBellll]

Have to agree

[DWornock]

@JessieBellll Amazing that we can agree on something.

[JessieBellll]

Although its not always the case

[SweetFyter]

@DWornock
"It is mothers that have problems raising a daughter; not fathers." WOW - I said the same thing in my reply a moment ago! I think my mom is a LOT more concerned about raising me than she is about my brothers. I don't know if she's typical but I HOPE I will not be as paranoid as she is. I love her but I"m not six any more, right?

[captain_voidwalker]

Its just harder for men to relate to thier daughters especially in a society where everyone teaches them that a father looking after them is some sort of oppression. Its also harder to explain puberty related issues to them, men and women have vastly different experiences going through that.

[Anonymous]

Both mothers raising daughters alone and fathers raising sons alone have in equally hard, but if we are judging by outcomes, generally the father will do a much better job of raise the daughter. Single mothers who raise sons tend to produce men who struggle in life and relationships while single fathers tend to produce strong and capable women.

[worldscolide]

Can't vote because I'm not a father.. But I can conjecture that men aren't really well educated on girls, especially when they hit adolescence.. It's not so much about being difficult, it's more about not knowing what to do.

[JessieBellll]

He's a fool. He already considers his son a jerk but what if his daughter is a jerk or a bitch? He needs to correct both. It doesn't work like that.

He has the completely wrong ideals and beliefs

[HighValue]

I don't have kids of my own, but I have had students for 12 years and most of the time it is easier for me to deal with the girls than the boys.

[AvaOneLasTime]

Then single mothers have it harder raising their sons, by that same logic?

[Adam1978]

Yes, same as mothers have harder to raise good sons without having solid men around.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the guy. Maybe for most? Personally I've always wanted a daughter though (if I were going to have a child). Not sure why, just have lol.

[Imsmurter1]

I don't have kids but I think both would be about equal if you care about them. What that guy said doesn't sound like he's valuing his son as much as his daughter.

[libsaretards]

For most parents it seems harder to raise the same-gender child than the opposite.

[amyisme]

He should just remember the simple rule... girls rule boys drul lol

[dolemite89]

definitely a daughter cuz it’s difficult for us to relate to girls to begin with, i’d at least want a girlfriend around that my daughter could have “girl talk” with when i was clueless.

[Anonymous]

Girls are definitely harder for a man to raise. They are also a lot more expensive.

[iJokeTeeth]

I haven't had any problems with my raising my daughter

[Anonymous]

My understanding is that it's generally harder raising a son early on and then harder raising a daughter when they're in their teens.

[Guardian45]

Fathers I know would DEFINITELY say they worry more about their daughters than their sons!