What is your story of forgiving someone?

Question

maybe a little or more but we all probably have forgiven someone at least once... pls share

SallyTho87 · Answer

I forgave an old friend for "disappearing" and pushing me out of their life for 4 years.

Basically we were best friends in high school, met in grade 9 and were really close up until graduation. We were attending the same college and we decided to match our schedules so we could have lunch together. I ate my lunch on my spare, and she had her lunch on her 2 hour lunch break.
Eventually, she began not showing up for lunch, and I assumed it was school keeping her busy, she was struggling in finance classes and I knew she probably had to study more.
Fast forward a month, and I am eating with new friends. She stopped interacting with me at school, would ignore me and pretend I was not there, or she did not receive my messages (text, Facebook, Kik messages) I attempted to send.
I never got a response. I asked why, whats going on, did I do something etc. I felt so guilty, but also really stressed because we didn't have a falling out or anything, so I did not get what was happening and why SHE was choosing to ditch me and our friendship.

Instead of chasing, I accepted the way she treated me, and left her alone. Around Christmas time, I texted her for the first time in like 3 months and sent "Merry Christmas, I hope you're doing okay" and my message was bounced back. I tried calling the number an it was unavailable, so I figured she had blocke me.
That was when I decided not to put anymore time into the friendship. I continued my studies for a few years, and would see her around campus rarely, but eventually i just would not look her way. I accepted the friendship had ended and it was through no fault of my own, and she decided to move forward in life without me as a friend.

Time went by, I graduated and got a career, took some more classes and educational courses. 4 YEARS passed, and I get a random DM from an unknown account on instagram saying "Add me, I need to talk to you. (123) 456-7890) with a cell number. I thought it was spam, but in the back of my mind I was like what if this is someone I know? What if they need help? What if its a kidnapping situation? Despite my immediate dismissal, I texted the number "Hello?" and quickly got a response back from my ex friend.
I confirmed it was her by asking numerous questions about highschool and things only SHE would know.

She and I texted a bit, and she asked to meet up in person and talk about something heavy. I didn't like the sound of it, and I had not been in contact with her for like 4 years, so I didn't understand why she wanted to talk now. After all the time I spent reaching out, dealing with guilt, uncertainty, the stress, I was SO confused and a bit concerned.
My heart and it's freakin feelings, I agreed to meet her in person, for 2 reasons: 1) bec i wanted t know wtf happened, and 2) this "heavy" subject concerned me

We met in person for coffee and sat at a picnic table, away from crowds and people. She literally started crying when she saw me. We hugged and I asked about everything, she spilled the beans.

She had a short term boyfriend when beginning college, she got pregnant and had to get it aborted as she ended up with a blood clot in her brain. She had to undergo multiple surgeries, and therapy as having a child was ALL she dreamed of, but she lost it :( Her body was weak from the surgeries, she became severely anemic and lacking in weight that she went on a feeding tube. Her education suffered, her life suffered, all because she accidentally got pregnant with an unplanned baby and her body couldn't support it. She took 2 years away from school, only attending for exams and required days, she did intensive therapy for 4 years, continuing, and had to be in rehab for inpatient as she stopped eating bec her depression got so bad.

This hurt, and still really hurt me to hear. That explained why i didn't see her at school, why she became so aloof and ditched everyone who cared about her, she was going through such a rough time but never wanted to share or ask for help as she was embarrassed, ashamed, and disgusted with herself.
We must have sat at that picnic table for 3 hours, talking and catching up. She was doing much better mentally and emotionally, despite the havoc her life has been.
I forgave her, as I have lost friends and family to depression and mental health issues, and its no joking matter. She did what she did for HER reasons, to protect HER privacy and to keep herself going forward. I am regretful I couldn't have been there, as I would have helped in ANY way I could, but she needed time.

We are still in touch today, 2 years later. She is actively dating someone new, and has plans for a family one day. She is working with her therapist and continuing treatment, she also finished school last year, and got her diploma from college.
I forgave her, for all that she did, and how she had made me feel. Maybe I shouldn't have, maybe I should have just left her be and never bothered showing up to meet her, but I am SO glad I did.

exitseven · Answer

I hired a friend who is a carpenter to to the finish work on my new addition. I was paying him cash while he was collecting unemployment. He was really taking a long time to do the job. He was really taking advantage of the situation. I took a day off from work to try and speed up the process. He got made so when I paid him on Friday he never came back and I ended up finishing the job myself. We did not speak for two or three years. When his mother died I decided that I would attend her funeral. I had known her all my life and grew up with the whole family.. We sort of got past what happened.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

There was a guy who slandered me to 600 people in my university after I rejected him at 18 years old. I was never angry at him but I did try to ruin his reputation as a defensive measure to guard my own life.

What is your story of forgiving someone?

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