When you feel down do you want validation or solutions?

[Juxtapose]

I am kind of with women on this in that I want validation more than anything when I am sad. I already know about logical solutions and can easily think of them.. when I am sad I lack motivation. When I am sad I want comfort, not an instruction manual.

[WhitneySnow]

I want validation. I can figure out my own solutions when I’m ready. I just want to be comforted and empathized with and allowed to vent.

[Juxtapose]

I feel the same!

[panda2712]

Same

[alice55]

Validation at first then solution

[IslaTheWitch]

it depends greatly on why I feel down...

there are things that piss me off but I can do nothing about ad then I just want my running shoes and headphones

there are things which worry me and then I just need someone to listen to me... I just need to say it loudly and hear it from myself... I don't need any pity and I'm good in solving problems, so just this moment for me is enough

[D_D_D]

Well.. I think it depends on the situation and the phase you're going through and of course the problem you're having.. yeah many times I want some comfort from my closest people like my brothers and sisters and sometimes I legit need a solution for a specific problem.. it does varies.

[sage2021]

I am pretty much a self-motivating person.
The only time I need any kind of validation is if I haven't heard from someone for a while or if all of a sudden their tone changes in their messages to me. I automatically think something's wrong and I get a bad feeling in my gut that things aren't like they used to be. A person can pick up on the change immediately.

[PreferNot2Say]

I prefer to be left completely alone, but I've been depressed every day of my life since I was about nine years old. I learned early in life that telling people that I'm depressed didn't help at all cuz nobody cares how I felt.

[Juxtapose]

Damn man, well I care but there's not much I can do about it. I know life is hard and has a lot wrong with it but if enough people band together in a small enough place they can create a nice place.

[Sarah2007]

When I feel down, i would want to relax with any of my friends and to get a long massage.

It helps me get rid of my depression and I feel better.

[Alli112]

Little bit of both, but usually more validation/emotional support. I'm smart enough to find a solution myself when I'm ready.

[Dongie]

Yeah, huge amounts of validation. Like for 12 hours.

[Juxtapose]

Really? Why do you think you feel that way? Have a lot of hurt to heal?

[Dongie]

Tonnes

[Juxtapose]

I hope you find a lovely lady that will be willing to hold you for as long as you need so you can let it all out.

[RavVid]

I'll mention it more to say I am not at the top of my game right now but don't want discussion.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Solutions from the best friend who is good at trash talking.

[genericname85]

solutions, cause validation doesn't fix the problem that made me feel down in the first place.

[BoopBoopBeep]

What is this "comfort" thing you talk about?

[Juxtapose]

Sounds like somebody needs a hug.

[DishLady]

Solutions. (The validation tends to come from the solutions.)

[Juxtapose]

Validation to me comes from how people feel about me. I already know what to do, I want to be soothed when I feel down.

[Juxtapose]

I know self soothing is an adult skill but occasionally having help from other people really makes a difference.

[DishLady]

Fair enough.

[Dongie]

It's like cuddling right.

[Juxtapose]

@Dongie in my opinion it is like being cuddled, but with words.

[Dongie]

Oh. That's good, too. Put you in a better mood.

[NathanDavis]

I want tacos...

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I want someone to talk to