What's the DUMBEST thing you've ever seen a CUSTOMER do?

[AviatorTom]

I once worked for a company that made, installed and maintained computer systems that were mission critical to a customer's operations.

Several years ago, we had a computer system that had a software bug in its operating system. If the maintenance console in the computer room was left idle, nothing running on it, the entire system would eventually stop running.

Until we could get this fixed, we kept an application running on the maintenance console called Turtle Race. It showed several "turtles" racing across the screen until one of them won, and then repeated the race, over and over, ad infinitum. It only took 30 minutes to create, and was a reasonable temporary solution.

One day, the president of the customer company stopped by to check on "his new computer system". When he saw Turtle Race running, he blasted out, "What the Hell is That? Get it off my system!"

We explained the software bug and its effects, and noted that it was only running until we could fix it.

He insisted, and since "the customer is always right", we stopped Turtle Race.

Sure enough, two days later, the computer system failed, causing a major headache for the customer.

In about an hour, we got the system back up with Turtle Race running to keep it up, and two weeks later, the bug was fixed, and Turtle Race had a going-away party.

[Chazmatazz269]

I used to work at a major pharmaceutical manufacturer. In order to keep their quarterly budgets, they were always pre-approving minor projects. This keeps the money flowing. The problem is that they were approving projects when they weren’t even completely settled on the final outcome. Furthermore, they would put their engineering interns on as project managers. These are not engineers educated and trained in architecture and construction, mind you. They know literally nothing about the trades, and too many let their “project manager” title go straight to their heads. Even the best managed projects end up cost three to four times as much as they should. I’ve been involved in projects that seemed to go over by double that, but there’s never technically an “over budget” issue because they don’t take bids on jobs. Most minor projects are budgeted as “time and materials not to exceed ‘$X’”. There is a lot of money being made and lots of people working. It’s all great for the local economy, but i think any halfwit can recognize what it means for drug costs.
Personally, i loathe rework. I am frequently recognized for my willingness and ability to plan and execute a job start to finish with superlative efficiency. I also got into the trades so that i would never have to take orders from someone who knows less than me. So i became exceptionally good at smiling and nodding at the diapered “project managers” and then just doing the job right the first time. Then i’d just take some time off. Ell oh ell!
Eventually i was just moved to bigger projects that were properly bid and had to come in on time and on budget. Those smaller jobs didn’t go anywhere. There are plenty of people all too happy to waste as much time as the “customer” can afford. Big Pharma can afford a lot.

[AviatorTom]

@chazmatazz269 I knew a guy who managed drug research projects at several Pharma companies. He would move to a company for 2-3 years before moving to another company. At each company, he would manage to reduce their losses, rarely if ever a profitable research. If he reduced a company's research losses from $5 million to $2 million a year, he was considered a hero, and received a great review he used to move to the next company.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Please can I have a copy of turtle race! That's a great story.

The dumbest thing I saw was while working at a Starbucks but this taught me something that has helped me in any place life has ever taken me.

This lady comes in very stereotypical in demanding a very specific drink. 3 of this 4 of that. She was very obnoxious and she she got the "product" she immediately goes "this is wrong"

Now any other day I wouldn't have thought much of it but the girl who made the order was the only person I ever worked with who was particular enough to even remember the recipes for all the drinks perfectly. She wasn't a dummy.

So while Karen is berating this girl I told her "excuse me, what is the issue here 😡... You know what, I want to get this solved for you immediately, I'll talk to her later 👺 what was your order" i swatt scribbling on a cup she couldn't see, threw it in the trash, predended to make her order and put new whipped cream on her stupid frappe.

She takes a sip and goes "that's more like it, I want you to make my drinks now"

It's kind of an embarrassing thing to talk about my Starbucks job but the thing is. Even corperate clients get like that. People are stupid as hell.

People clapped by the way. When she left. Because the girls were laughing at her and some of the other customers could see what I did.

[jennifer_bloom]

A jobless woman told me I was too slow at my job. I think that was the least intelligent thing I've heard somebody say at work.

I also had a guy say I can't speak English properly because my name tag showed I had a Chinese sounding name and not a traditional English name like Sharon or Christina etc...

I got straight A's in my humanities degree in University, and he assumed I could not speak English because I had a Chinese name.

[DevilishDanni]

Had a lady order a catering from the place I work, and she put our address and our phone number as the delivery address and contact info.

[GrammariklyIncorrekt]

Did you guys actually make the catering order?

[DevilishDanni]

@ManlyButFeminine yup, and had to wait for like an hour after it was ready for some random guy to call us wondering where we were, then I had to run it over because the drivers were all gone and showed him what the secretary did... and he wasn't surprised and told us she wasn't smart and that's why she answered phones all day

[GrammariklyIncorrekt]

The worst 😂

[exitseven]

I swear that this is a true story from the annals for state government. We had a political appointee that was hired with a fancy title and a big salary. His only duty was to run a golf tournament for charity.
We usually swapped out staff computers every 3 years and it was this guy's turn. I decided to do it myself. I go to his office and swap out his computer and transferred all his files and hooked up his printer.
I asked him if he had any questions for me about the new machine. He looked at the screen and then asked me where that Solitaire program was.

[KostasKouvalis]

When I worked for State Parks, this Mexican guy straight up told me he plans to fish without a license, and asked me how much the ticket costs if he gets caught and was like, "It's expensive, huh?" He then asked me if any law enforcement checks the area and I told him the Rangers and Fish & Game come through, and he asked me what color their trucks are so he can be on the lookout🤣

Naturally, I told him😂 He was extremely fortunate that I was working that day, because that's just stupid. Why would you say that to a park employee😂 I know co-workers who would've snitched on him

[nolabels]

Haha!
That's a good one!

I don't have one that good to tell about.

I've pulled a doozy or two on my job in my time, though.
No, I'm not telling of them right now.
Too much detail to tell.

But, yep, I've screwed up a time or two in life.
Lol.

[DryGermanGuy]

A customer who had his application running on a shared server system ordered them to sundown. Unfortunately the data center worker was just as dumb and initiated just that.

What was the specific bug in your software example?

[AviatorTom]

@DryGermanGuy Bug details: There was a memory leak in the application that monitored activity on the maintenance console that consumed system memory space until the operating system could not schedule tasks. That section of code with the memory leak only executed if the maintenance console was in idle mode, so keeping the app running kept that section of code from running. The fix, once it was located, was relatively simple... ensure the temporary memory that the console monitor allocated was deallocated in all modes, including idle.

[LC75LC71]

Yeah, so a drunk young guy came into a gas station I was working at in 1998 saying "I need Spam!" It was like his life's ambition at the time and after probably 10 minutes he found it! Paid and stumbled out. Dude could've just pocketed the can and I wouldn't have cared. Greatest customer ever.

[michael3478]

Shoplifting in a bikini im not even kidding i work in retail.

[AviatorTom]

@michael3478 Where did she hide the things she was shoplifting? 🤔

[michael3478]

she ran out with something all i saw was a coworker chasing her😂

[Friendlybro79]

Curse at a cashier for nothing give her change back when she used a credit card lol. I almost pointed and laughed in this ladies face because she was such a jerk to the young cashier. Thankfully I was just barely mature enough not to. Lol

[Friendlybro79]

That was supposed to say cursing at a customer for not giving her change when she used a credit card

[RavVid]

SIGH, IT was fun once back in the day but it is all too serious now. I collect stories like this as an antidote.

Thank you.

[Agape93]

Old lady thought a child was a worker and calling her too lazy to stay employed

[msc545]

Proving that there is always an asshole who thinks he knows more than you do and pays the price for believing that.

[Anonymous]

Rude customers

Just rude customers. And most of the time, these customers - were not poor. Not at all. 🥺

[Opinion Owner]

Again, these were not poor customers - at all. But always most days always, someone with a 'tude (attitude).

[robocop666]

customer returned a shirt with a giant hole in it and claimed it was there when they bought it. Yeah right it was the size of a football. Told to go away.

[Shiprex]

Being wrong and still arguing about it

[AgentG111]

So many things.