Should I feel bad if I don't want to drive my license-less girlfriend everywhere?

[Anonymous]

Ive been with the same girl for over 4 years now and she never had a license. Every weekend I'd pick her up from home and we'd spend the whole weekend together and now that we live together I have to drive her to all kinds of bs. She says she feels bad asking me but does nothing to get her license and she doesn't understand my frustration.

Am I justified?

[Darkfairie17]

You are completely justified. I have friends who do the same thing. They whine and moan about how no one comes to see them, but they never make the effort to come see me(even when they are in the same city). I have my license, but I have no car. I am a student and can't afford one. I take the bus everywhere!

My friends live at home, no job, not even trying to get a license or anything. I'm sure their parents would let them borrow the car once in a while if they had a license. But no, they simply refuse.

But whenever I come home to visit, it's always assumed that it's my job to do the driving. They always make excuses like "I have no money" or "It's hard" or "I want to sleep in". I also have no money, and value my sleep. It's tough walking in the snow because it's either walk 30mins home or wait an hour for the bus in the cold but I manage to do it and survive :P

Your situation is slightly different, but your girlfriend still needs to get her license. It's frustrating running around being a chauffeur to someone. I'm sure you love her and don't mind helping her out once in a while, but it's gone beyond that now.

I don't know where you live, but is there public transit? My boyfriend has a car, but I never ask him to drive me places. I will take two buses just to get to see him, and that usually takes me 2-4 hours, depending on the day. It only takes him 30 min to get to my house by car. I use the bus to do everything from shopping, groceries and visiting people.

She should be getting a transit pass and just taking the bus or whatever if that is possible. You might still need to drive her certain places, but then at least she can be more independent. I would also get her to pay for the gas to get to those other places that the bus might not take her. Plus taking public transit is not the best experience. It can be inconvenient at times and unreliable too. But it might motivate her to get her license.

If not, set a time period for when she is to get her license. Once that time period ends, she must find her own way to these things. If that means arranging people to pick her up to take her to work, so be it. It's an inconvenience, but so is your driving her around.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

It's perfectly reasonable for you to get tired of that. she doesn't do anything because she doesn't have to. she probably has no ambition well obviously because she's been getting by this far just fine without one. she needs to get her sh*t together. find out the steps she needs to take to get her license and learn to drive and then she should follow through with them. its imperative that she makes effort instead of not pulling her weight around. its very inconvenient when a grown person can't drive so she should want to do better

[YamIhere]

No. She needs to grow up and drive herself around. We are in 2012! If she felt so horrible, she would've had one by now. 4 years? She should just call you her Chauffeur.

You are Justified...and she is Fired!

She should also be splitting the gas my friend.

Props to you, that's nice of you. You probably should start pushing for her to get a move on studying a drivers manual or else you will be here for the rest of your life if you plan on staying with this girl.

[killbenlanier]

It's understandable. She needs to woman up, and get her license. If there was an emergency and you weren't able to drive, you guys would be in deep sh*t. Tell her how you feel in the most calm way. If she doesn't seem to care, I'd consider leaving her.

[sephora]

I understand you would be frusturated. why is she not getting her license? tell her to use public transportation.

[Deft_maiden]

You are justified. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet. Suggest Signing her up for Driver's Ed. How did she around before you?

[Moloch]

Yeah that's bs you're not her servant.